Rex Stout: The Body in the Hall

He considered it. “Not tonight.”

“Tonight would be best.”

“No. I’m all in.”

“Tomorrow morning at eleven?”

“Yes, I can make it then.”

“Okay.” I gave him the address. “If you forget it, it’s in the book. Now brief me.”

He took a respectable roll of bills from his pocket and peeled off a twenty. “Since you’re acting as my agent, you have a right to a fee.”

I grinned again. “That’s a neat idea, you being a lawyer, but I’m not acting as your agent. I’m doing you a favor on request and expecting one in return. Where’s the appointment?”

He put the roll back. “Have it your way. The woman’s name is Jewel Jones, and she’s at the south-east corner of Christopher and Grove Streets, or will be.” He looked at his wrist. “We were to meet there at midnight. She’s medium height, slender, dark hair and eyes, very goodlooking. Tell her why I’m not coming, and say she’ll hear from me tomorrow.”

“Right. You’d better take a walk in the other direction to keep the dick occupied, and don’t look back.”

He wanted to shake hands to show his appreciation, but that would have been just as bad as taking the twenty, since before another midnight Wolfe might be tagging him for murder, so I pretended not to notice. He headed east, and I headed west, moving right along without turning my head for a glimpse of the dick. I had to make sure that he didn’t see a vision and switch subjects, but I let that wait until I got to Christopher Street. Reaching it, I turned the corner, went twenty feet to a stoop, slid behind it with only my head out, and counted a slow hundred. There were passers-by, a couple and a guy in a hurry, but no dick. I went on a block to Grove Street, passed the intersection, saw no loitering female, continued for a distance, and turned and backtracked. I was on the fifth lap, and it was eight minutes past twelve, when a taxi stopped at the corner, a woman got out, and the taxi rolled off.

I approached. The light could have been better, but she seemed to meet the specifications. I stopped and asked, “Jones?” She drew herself up. I said, “From Victor.”

She tilted her head back to get my face. “Who are you?” She seemed a little out of breath.

“Victor sent me with a message, but naturally I have to be sure it reaches the right party. I’ve ante’d half of your name and half of his, so it’s your turn.”

“Who are you?”

I shook my head. “You go first, or no message from Victor.”

“Where is he?”

“No. I’ll count ten and go. One, two, three, four—”

“My name is Jewel Jones. His is Victor Talento.”

“That’s the girl. I’ll tell you.” I did so. Since it was desirable for her to grasp the situation fully, I started with my propping myself on the fire hydrant in front of 29 Arbor Street and went on from there, as it happened, including, of course, my name and status. By the time I finished she had developed a healthy frown.

“Damn it,” she said with feeling. She moved and put a hand on my arm. “Come and put me in a taxi.”

I stayed planted. “I’ll be glad to, and it will be on me. We’re going to Nero Wolfe’s place.”

“We?” She removed the hand. “You’re crazy.”

“One will get you ten I’m not. Look at it. You and Talento made an appointment at a street corner, so you had some good reason for not wanting to be seen together tonight. It must have been something fairly urgent. I admit the urgency didn’t have to be connected with the murder of Philip Kampf, but it could be, and it certainly has to be discussed. I don’t want to be arbitrary. I can take you to a Homicide sergeant named Stebbins, and you can discuss it with him; or I’ll take you to Mr. Wolfe. I should think you’d prefer Mr. Wolfe, but suit yourself.”

She had well-oiled gears. For a second, as I spoke, her eyes flashed like daggers, but then they went soft and appealing. She took my arm again, this time with both hands. “I’ll discuss it with you,” she said, in a voice she could have used to defrost her refrigerator. “I wouldn’t mind that. We’ll go somewhere.”

I said come on, and we moved, with her maintaining contact with a hand hooked cozily on my arm. We hadn’t gone far, toward Seventh Avenue, when a taxi came along and I flagged it and we got in. I told the driver, “Nine-eighteen West Thirty-fifth,” and he started.

“What’s that?” Miss Jones demanded.

I told her, Nero Wolfe’s house. The poor girl didn’t know what to do. If she called me a rat that wouldn’t help her any. If she kicked and screamed I would merely give the hackie another address. Her best bet was to try to thaw me, and if she had had time for a real campaign, say four or five hours, she might conceivably have made some progress, because she had a knack for it. She didn’t coax or argue; she just told me how she knew I was the kind of man she could tell anything to and I would believe her and understand her, and after she had done that she would be willing to go anywhere or do anything I advised, but she was sure I wouldn’t want to take advantage...

There just wasn’t time enough. The taxi rolled to the curb, and I had a bill ready for the driver. I got out, gave her a hand, and escorted her up the seven steps of the stoop, applauding her economy in not wasting breath on protests. My key wouldn’t let us in, since the chain bolt would be on, so I pushed the button, and in a moment the stoop light shone on us, and in another the door opened. I motioned her in and followed. Fritz was there.

“Mr. Wolfe up?” I asked.

“In the office.” He was giving Miss Jones a look, the look he gives any strange female who enters that house. There is always in his mind the possibility, however remote, that she will bewitch Wolfe into a mania for a mate. After asking him to conduct her to the front room, and putting my hat and the raincoat on the rack, I went on down the hall and entered the office.

Wolfe was at his desk, reading, and curled up in the middle of the room, on the best rug in the house, which was given to Wolfe years ago as a token of gratitude by an Armenian merchant who had got himself in a bad hole, was the dog. The dog greeted me by lifting his head and tapping the rug with his tail. Wolfe greeted me by raising his eyes from the book and grunting.

“I brought company,” I told him. “Before I introduce her I should—”

“Her? The tenants of that house are all men! I might have known you’d dig up a woman!”

“I can chase her if you don’t want her. This is how I got her.” I proceeded, not dragging it out, but including all the essentials. I ended up, “I could have taken her to a spot I know of and grilled her myself, but it would have been risky. Just in a six-minute taxi ride she had me feeling — uh, brotherly. Do you want her or not?”

“Confound it.” His eyes went to his book and stayed there long enough to finish a paragraph. He dog-eared it and put it down. “Very well, bring her.”

I crossed to the connecting door to the front room, opened it, and requested, “Please come in, Miss Jones.” She came, and as she passed through gave me a wistful smile that might have gone straight to my heart if there hadn’t been a diversion. As she entered, the dog suddenly sprang to his feet, whirling, and made for her with sounds of unmistakable pleasure. He stopped in front of her, raising his head so she wouldn’t have to reach far to pat it, and wagged his tail so fast it was only a blur.

“Indeed,” Wolfe said. “How do you do, Miss Jones. I am Nero Wolfe. What’s the dog’s name?”

I claim she was good. The presence of the dog was a complete surprise to her. But without the slightest sign of fluster she put out a hand to give it a gentle pat, looked around, spotted the red leather chair, went to it, and sat.