Эрл Гарднер - The Adventures of Paul Pry

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The man who beats crooks at their own games...
Follow the adventures of Paul Pry, a sophisticated, urbane genius whose greatest talent lies in uncovering the plots of criminals and snatching their booty when they least expect it. Pry and his cohort, the nefarious ex-cop Mugs Magoo, stay one step ahead of their villainous victims and foil their evil plots just when they are about to succeed.
This long-awaited collection of Paul Pry stories shows Erle Stanley Gardner, who also created the celebrated Perry Mason series, at his best.

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She stared at him wordlessly.

“You are,” said Paul Pry, “in the eyes of the law, a burglar, a person guilty of making a felonious entrance and taking property which does not belong to you.”

She said nothing.

“Under the circumstances,” said Paul Pry, striding easily across the room, “I think I will have to telephone to the police.”

She remained as he had left her — motionless, silent, and with a face which was drained of expression.

Paul Pry approached the door which led into the corridor, turned and smiled. “Upon second thought, however,” he said, “in view of the most charming display of feminine pulchritude which you unwittingly gave me, I am going to let mercy temper justice.”

With a swift motion of his arms and hands, he flipped back the spring catch on the door, pulled the door open, stepped into the corridor and slammed the door behind him.

There was no sound of pursuit, no commotion. The apartment remained completely silent.

3. The Wooden Fish

Paul Pry was faultlessly attired in evening clothes when he pressed the doorbell of the magnificent residence of Perry C Hammond.

A dour-visaged butler opened the door. Pry met his sour look with a disarming smile.

“A gentleman,” he said, “who refuses to divulge his name, wishes to see Mr. Hammond at once upon a matter of the most urgent nature.”

“Mr. Hammond, sir,” said the butler, “is not at home.”

“You will explain to Mr. Hammond,” said Paul Pry, still smiling, “that I am a specialist in my line.”

“Mr. Hammond, sir, is not at home.”

“Quite right, my man, quite right. And, will you please add to the explanation you make to Mr. Hammond that my particular specialty is in disorders of the lips — disorders which have to do with a permanent silence, brought about through mechanical means.”

Paul Pry’s smiling eyes locked with those of the butler, and suddenly the smile left Paul Pry’s eyes. His face became cold and stern.

“You will,” he said, “convey that message to Mr. Hammond immediately. Otherwise, I will communicate with Mr. Hammond in some other way, and explain to him the reason my message was not delivered personally. I don’t mind assuring you that Mr. Hammond will consider you have committed a major indiscretion.”

The butler hesitated for a long moment. “Will you step this way, sir?” he asked.

He ushered Paul Pry through a reception hallway, into a small entrance parlour. “Please be seated, sir,” he said. “I will see if, perhaps, Mr. Hammond has returned.”

The butler glided from the room, and the door had no sooner closed upon him, than Paul Pry, moving with noiseless stealth, jerked open the door and stepped once more into the reception corridor.

His quick eyes had detected a small enamelled box for outgoing mail, and Paul Pry’s deft fingers raised the lid of the box and explored the interior.

There were three letters addressed in a cramped, angular handwriting. Paul Pry flipped the letters, one over the other, in rapid succession, scanning the addresses. The third envelope was addressed to Fremont Burke, General Delivery.

Paul Pry stuck it in his pocket, returned the others to the mail box, and then moved on furtive feet back into the reception parlour.

He had barely resumed his seat when the butler entered through another door. “Mr. Hammond,” he said, “will see you.”

Paul Pry walked across the room, followed the butler down a passageway and went through a door the servant indicated.

A man with great puffs under his eyes, a look of infinite weariness upon his face, stared at him with expressionless interrogation. “Well,” he said, “what was it you wanted?”

“I have reason,” said Paul Pry, “to believe that your life is in danger.”

“I think you are mistaken,” said Hammond.

“I have reason,” said Paul Pry, “to believe that the same fate which overtook Charles C Darwin may, perhaps, be in store for you.”

Perry Hammond shook his head. “Whoever gave you your information,” he said, “misinformed you.”

“In other words,” said Paul Pry slowly, “you deny that you have received any demands from a person who has threatened you with death or disaster in the event you fail to comply? You deny that you have been threatened with death, under circumstances similar to the threats which were made to Mr. Charles Darwin?”

“I,” said Perry Hammond, slowly and deliberately, “don’t know what you’re talking about. I saw you because I thought you might be interested in getting some information about Mr. Darwin. As far as I am concerned, you can get out and stay out.”

Paul Pry bowed. “Thank you very much,” he said, “for your interview, Mr. Hammond.” He turned on his heel.

“Wait a minute,” said the millionaire in a cold, husky voice. “Are you a newspaper reporter?”

“No,” said Paul Pry without turning.

“Then who the devil are you?” asked Hammond with sudden irritation.

Paul Pry turned to face the millionaire. “I am a man,” he said, smiling affably, “who is going to make you extremely sorry you lied to him.”

With that, he turned once more and strode steadily and purposefully down the carpeted corridor.

Mugs Magoo looked up from his whiskey glass as Paul Pry latch-keyed the apartment door. “Well,” he said mournfully, “I see you’re still with us.”

“Temporarily, at least, Mugs,” Paul Pry retorted, smiling.

He hung up his hat and coat, crossed to a closet and opened the door. The closet contained a collection of drums, drums of various sorts and descriptions.

Mugs Magoo shuddered. “For God’s sake,” he said, “don’t start that!”

Paul Pry laughed lightly and fingered the drums with the attentive care that a hunter might give to the selection of a gun from a gun cabinet.

Mugs Magoo hastily poured liquor into the glass. “At least,” he said, “give me fifteen minutes to get liquored before you start. Those damn drums do things to me. They get into my blood and make the pulses pound.”

Paul Pry’s voice was almost dreamy as he picked out a round piece of wood which seemed to be entirely solid, save for a cut along one end, with two holes bored at the end of the cut.

“That, Mugs,” he said, “is the function of drums. We don’t know exactly what it is they do, but they seem to get into a person’s blood. You don’t like the sound of drums, Mugs, because you are afraid of the primitive. You are continually trying to run away from yourself. Doubtless a psychoanalyst could look into your past and find that your taste for whiskey had its inception in an attempt to drown some real or fancied sorrow.”

Mugs Magoo let his face show extreme consternation. “You’re not going to take me to one of those psychoanalysts?” he asked.

Paul Pry shook his head. “Certainly not, Mugs,” he said. “I think it is too late to effect a cure now, and, in the event a cure was effected, Mugs, you would lose your taste for whiskey.

“Drums, Mugs, do to me exactly what whiskey does to you. If you could cultivate a taste for drums, I think I would endeavour to cure you of the whiskey habit. But, since you cannot, the only thing I can do is to let you enjoy your pleasures in your own way, and insist that you allow me an equal latitude.”

Paul Pry sat down in the chair which faced the big fireplace, took a long, slender stick, to the end of which had been affixed a rosebud-shaped bit of hard wood.

“Now, Mugs,” he said, “here we have a Mok Yeitt , otherwise known as a ‘wooden fish’. The wooden fish is a prayer drum used by the Buddhists in China to pave the way for a friendly reception to their prayers. If you will listen, Mugs, you will get the remarkable delicacy of tone which the better specimens of these drums give. They are cunningly carved by hand. A hole is made in either end of the slit, and the wood is hollowed out with painstaking care...”

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