Рекс Стаут - The Final Deduction

The garage doors were closed and the sound was faint, but I have good ears. The parking area where we had left the Heron was on this side of the house, but not in front of the garage. The door we had come through was standing open — the door from the garage to a back hall. I stepped to it quietly and poked my head through, and in a moment heard a voice I had heard before. Margot Tedder. She was asking Jake whose car that was. Then Jake, telling her: her brother Noel and four detectives from New York who were searching the house for something. Margot asked, searching for what? Jake didn’t know. Then Margot calling her brother, a healthier yell than I thought she had in her: “Noel! Noel!! ”

Preferring the garage to the outdoors as a place for a conference, I sang out, “We’re in the garage!” and turned and told Noel, “It’s your sister.”

“I know it is. Damn her.”

“I’ll do the talking. Okay?”

“Like hell you will. She’ll do the talking.”

It’s a pleasure to work with men who can tell time. Saul had started to move when I called out that we were in the garage, and Fred and Orrie a second later, and I had moved back from the door, taking Noel with me. So when Margot appeared and headed for Noel, with Jake right behind her, and Uncle Ralph behind Jake, all my three colleagues had to do was take another step or two and they were between the newcomers and the exit. And both Saul and Orrie were only arm’s length from Jake’s hip pocket. It’s a real pleasure.

I was at Noel’s side. As Margot approached she gave me a withering glance, then switched it to Noel, stopped in front of him, and said, “You utter idiot. Get out and take your gang with you.”

I said politely, “It’s as much his house as yours, Miss Tedder, and he got here first. What if he tells you to get out?”

She didn’t hear me. “You heard me, Noel,” she said. “Take this scum and go.”

“Go yourself,” Noel said. “Go to hell.”

She about-faced and started for the door. I raised my voice a little. “Block it! Saul, you’d better get it.”

“I have it,” Saul said and raised his hand to show me the gun he had lifted from Jake’s pocket. Margot saw it and stopped. Fred and Orrie had filled the doorway. Uncle Ralph made a noise. Jake looked at Margot, then at Noel, and back at Margot. Saul was back of him, and he didn’t know he had been disarmed.

“You wouldn’t shoot,” Margot said scornfully, and I have to admit there was no shake in her voice.

“No,” I told her back, “he wouldn’t shoot, but why should he? Five against three, granting that you’re one and Jake is with you. As Jake told you, we’re looking for something, and we haven’t finished. Noel told you to go, but it would be better for you to stay here in the garage, all three of you, until we’re through. One of you might use the phone, and we’d be interrupted. I don’t—”

I stopped because she was moving. She went to the door, just short of Fred and Orrie, just not touching them, and said, “Get out of the way.”

Orrie smiled at her. He thinks he knows how to smile at girls, and as a matter of fact he does. “We’d like to,” he said, “but we’re glued.”

“I don’t know how long we’ll be,” I told her, “but there’s a stack of chairs there by the wall. Fred and Orrie, you—”

“Jake! Go and phone my mother!” Her voice still didn’t shake, but it was a little shrill.

And by gum, Jake’s hand went back to his hip pocket. I was almost sorry his gun was gone; it would have been interesting to see how he handled it. His jaw dropped, and he wheeled and saw it in Saul’s hand. “It’s all right,” Saul said, “you’ll get it back.” Jake turned to Noel and said, “Fine lot you brought.” He turned to Margot. “I guess I can’t.”

“You guess right,” I told him. “Fred and Orrie, you stay here and keep the peace. Noel and Saul and I will look around some more. But it has occurred to me that I may have overlooked something. Wait till I see.” I went to the corner where the big trunk was, lifted the lid, took out the top tray, and put it on the floor gently. Then I reached in and got the loops at the ends of the second tray and eased it up and out, and I damn near dropped it. There at the bottom of the trunk was an old tan leather suitcase. I took three seconds out to handle my controls, staring at it, then carefully put the tray on the floor to one side, straightened up, and said, “Come and take a look, Nod.” He came and stooped over to see, then reached a hand in and heaved, and out it came. At that point I decided that he might really have two feet. I had expected him to squeak something like “Jesus Holy Christ what the hell,” but he squeaked nothing. He just reached in and got it, put it on the floor, undid the clasps, and opened the lid; and there was the biggest conglomeration of engraved lettuce I had ever had the pleasure of looking at. I glanced around. Purcell was at my elbow, and Jake was at his elbow, and Saul was right behind them. Margot was approaching, hips stiff as ever. Noel, squatting, with a hand flattened out on top of the find, tilted his head back to look up at me and said, “I didn’t believe him, but I thought I might as well come. How in the name of God did he know it was here?”

Orrie, still in the doorway with Fred, called over, “Damn it, have you got it?” Margot was saying something which I didn’t bother to hear, and Purcell was making noises. I looked at my wrist; it’s nice to know exactly what time you found half a million bucks. Eight minutes to three. I went and put the trays back in the trunk, gently and carefully, closed the lid and came back. Noel was fastening the lid of the suitcase, paying no attention to what his sister was saying.

“Okay,” I said, “we’ll move. Saul and Noel will take it out to the car.” I put out a hand to Saul. “The gun. I’ll unload it and leave it on the kitchen table. Fred and Orrie will follow Saul and Noel. I’ll stay in the kitchen to guard the phone until you have the car turned around and headed out. When you tap the horn III come. Miss Tedder, if you came to see about the leaky roof, don’t neglect it just because we got in the way. As Mr. Wolfe remarked to your brother just this afternoon, a leaky roof should be attended to.”

When the doorbell rang at five minutes to six Monday afternoon I was in my chair in the office, leaning back, my feet up on the corner of the desk, looking at the headline on the front page of the Gazette :

With that second hot exclusive given to Lon Cohen in three days, our credit balance with him was colossal. The picture of the suitcase on page 3, with the lid open, had been taken by me. The article, which I had read twice, was okay. I was given a good play, and so was Wolfe, and Saul and Fred and Orrie were named. I had given Lon nothing about Margot or Uncle Ralph, but had mentioned Jake’s gun. A gun improves any story.

The money was in the bank, but not the one it had come from. Noel had demonstrated that he was neither piker nor a soft touch. When I had put the suitcase on the couch in the office, and he had opened it, and we had all gathered around to admire the contents, including Wolfe, he had taken out a couple of bundles of cees, counted off two grand and handed it to Orrie, then two grand to Fred, two to Saul, and five to me. Then he had asked Wolfe, “Do you want yours now?” and Wolfe had said it would have to be counted first since his share was a percentage; and Wolfe had gone to the kitchen to tell Fritz there would be four guests for dinner. It was then five o’clock, but at seven, just two hours later, Fritz had served us the kind of meal you read about. No shad roe.