Lillian Braun - The Cat Who Ate Danish Modern

"I made it myself — out of upholstery samples," she said, peering at him from under a quantity of glossy brown hair that enveloped her head, shoulders, and much of her face.

He took her to the Press Club for dinner, aware that he was being observed by all the regulars at the bar and would have to account, the next day, for his taste in women. Nevertheless, it had to be the Press Club. He had a charge account there, and payday was not until Friday. He ushered his date — she asked Qwilleran to call her Cokey — upstairs to the main dining room, where the atmosphere was quieter and the rolls were sprinkled with poppy seeds.

"Have a cocktail?" Qwilleran invited. "I'm on the wagon myself, but I'll have a lemon and seltzer to keep you company." Cokey looked keenly interested. "Why aren't you drinking?" "It's a long story, and the less said about it, the better." He put a matchbook under one table leg; all the Press Club tables had a built-in wobble.

"I'm on a yoga kick myself," she said. "No liquor. No meat. But I'll make us one of nature's own cocktails if you'll order the ingredients and two champagne glasses." When the tray arrived, she poured a little cream into each glass, filled it with ginger ale, and then produced a small wooden device from her handbag.

"I carry my own nutmeg and grate it fresh," she said, dusting the surface of the drinks with brown spice. "Nutmeg is a stimulant. The Germans put it in everything." Qwilleran took a cautious sip. The drink had a bite. It was like Cokey — cool and smooth, with an unexpected pepperiness. "How did you decide to become an architect?" he asked.

"Maybe you haven't noticed," said Cokey, "but there are more architects named Wright than there are judges named Murphy. We seem to gravitate to the drafting board. However, the name is getting me nowhere." She stroked her long hair lovingly. "I may have to give up the struggle and find a husband." "Shouldn't be difficult." "I'm glad you're so confident." She set her jaw and ground some more nutmeg on her cocktail. "Tell me what you think of the decorating profession after two weeks in the velvet jungle?" "They seem to be likable people." "They're children! They live in a world of play." A shadow passed over Cokey's face — the sliver of face that was visible. "And, just like children, they can be cruel." She studied the grains of nutmeg clinging to the inside of her empty glass and, catlike, darted out a pink tongue to lick it clean.

A man walked past the table and said, "Hi, there, Cokey." She looked up abruptly. "Well, hello!" she said with meaning in the inflection.

"You know him?" Qwilleran asked in surprise.

"We've met," said Cokey. "I'm getting hungry. May we order?" She looked at the menu and asked for brook trout with a large garnish of parsley, and a small salad. Qwilleran compared her taut figure with his own well-padded beltline and felt guilty as he ordered bean soup, a hefty steak and a baked potato with sour cream.

"Are you divorced?" Cokey asked suddenly.

Qwilleran nodded.

"That's cool. Where do you live?" "I moved into the Villa Verandah today." He waited for her eyes to open wide, and then added in a burst of honesty, "The apartment belongs to a friend who's gone abroad." "Do you like living alone?" "I don't live alone," said Qwilleran. "I have a cat. A Siamese." "I adore cats," Cokey squealed. "What's your cat's name?" Qwilleran beamed at her. People who really appreciated animals always asked their names. "His real name is Kao K'o-Kung, but he's called Koko for everyday purposes. I considered myself a dog man until I met Koko. He's a remarkable animal. Perhaps you remember the murder on Blenheim Place last spring. Koko is the cat who was involved, and if I told you some of his intellectual feats you wouldn't believe me." "Oh, I'd believe anything about cats. They're uncanny." "Sometimes I'm convinced Koko senses what's going to happen." "It's true! Cats tune in with their whiskers." "That's what I've been told," said Qwilleran, preening his moustache absently. "Koko always gives the impression that he knows more than I do, and he has clever ways of communicating. Not that he does anything uncatlike, you understand. Yet, somehow he gets his ideas across…. I'm not explaining this very well." "I know exactly what you mean." Qwilleran looked at Cokey with appreciation. These were matters he could not discuss with his friends at the Fluxion. With their beagles and boxers as a frame of reference, how could they understand about cats? In this one area of his life he experienced a kind of loneliness. But Cokey understood. Her mischievous green eyes had mellowed into an expression of rapport.

He reached over and took her hand — the slender, tapering hand that was playing tiddledywinks with stray poppyseeds on the tablecloth. He said, "Have you ever heard of a cat eating spider webs — or glue? Koko has started licking gummed envelopes. One day he chewed up a dollar's worth of postage stamps." "I used to have a cat who drank soapsuds," Cokey said. "They're individualists. Does Koko scratch furniture? It was noble of your friend to let you move into his apartment with a cat." "Koko does all his scratching on an old unabridged dictionary," Qwilleran said with a note of pride.

"How literary of him!" "It's not really an old dictionary," he explained. "It's the new edition. The man Koko used to live with bought it for himself and then decided he preferred the old edition, so he gave the new one to the cat for a scratching pad." "I admire men who admire cats." Qwilleran lowered his voice and spoke confidentially. "We have a game we play with this dictionary. Koko exercises his claws, and I add a few words to my vocabulary… This is something I wouldn't want to get around the Press Club you understand." Cokey looked at him mistily. "I think you're wonderful," she said. "I'd love to play the game sometime." When Qwilleran arrived home that evening, it was late, and he was exhausted. Girls like Cokey made him realize he was not so young as he used to be.

He unlocked the door of his apartment and was groping for the light switch when he saw two red sparks in the darkened living room. They glowed with a supernatural light. He had seen them before, and he knew what they were, but they always gave him a scare.

"Koko!" he said. "Is that you?" He flipped the lights on, and the mysterious red lights in Koko's eyes were extinguished.

The cat approached with arched back, question-mark tail, and the backswept whiskers of disapproval. He made vehement one-note complaints.

"I'm sorry," said Qwilleran. "Did you think you were abandoned? You'll never believe this, but we went for a walk — a long walk. That's what lady architects like to do on a date — take you for a walk, looking at buildings. I'm bushed!" He sank into a chair and kicked off his shoes without untying the laces. "For three hours we've been looking at architecture: insensitive massing, inefficient site-planning, trite fenestration… " Koko was howling impatiently at his knee, and Qwilleran picked up the cat, laid him across his shoulder, and patted the sleek fur. He could feel the muscles struggling beneath the pelt, and Koko wriggled away and jumped down.

"Is something wrong?" Qwilleran asked.

"YaW-OW!" said Koko.

He ran to the Spanish chest that housed the stereo set. It was a massive carved piece built close to the floor, resting on four bun-shaped feet. Koko plumped to the floor in front of it, stretched one foreleg, and vainly tried to reach under the chest, his brown tail tensed in a scimitar curve.

Qwilleran uttered a weary moan. He knew the cat had lost his homemade mouse — a bouquet of dried mint leaves tied in the toe of an old sock. He also knew there would be no sleeping that night until the mouse was retrieved. He looked for something to poke under the chest. Broomstick? There was no broom in the kitchen closet; the maids evidently used their own sweeping equipment…. Fireplace poker? There were no fireplaces at the Villa Verandah…. Umbrella? If Noyton owned one, he had taken it to Europe…. Fishing rod? Golf club? Tennis racquet? The man seemed to have no active hobbies…. Backscratcher? Long-handled shoe- horn? Clarinet? Discarded crutch?