R.T. Raichev - Murder of Gonzago

‘You are extremely kind, but no, I am sure I can manage.’

‘It’s awfully sweet of you to come and see me, my dear. I was terribly fond of you, you know. Still am. I feared our paths might never cross again. I thought you were furious with us.’

‘I am not. Not with you.’

‘You won’t mind my smoking one of my cigars, will you? It will bring back the good old times when we had our regular pow-wows.’ He reached for his cigar case. ‘A cigar can be as potently Proustian as the madeleine of memory. That sounds quite good, doesn’t it?’

‘Yes. You do say clever things, Gerard.’

‘You strike me as a bit tense, Renee. What is it? A drink, perhaps? I’ve got some first-class malt. You were never averse to malt. Or would you like some brandy?’

‘No, thank you, Gerard.’

‘You keep saying, No, thank you, Gerard. Don’t think I like it … Hope you won’t mind me biting off the end? Most uncouth, I know, but I happen to have lost- Good lord, that looks like my lost cigar cutter!’ Gerard stared at the metal object that lay across the palm of Renee’s outstretched hand. She had risen to her feet. ‘I could swear that is my cigar cutter!’

‘It is your cigar cutter.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes. It’s got your initials on it. GF.’

‘How peculiar. Yes, you are perfectly correct. Thank you so much, my dear. I’m awfully glad to be reunited with it. I must confess I was absurdly attached to my cigar cutter.’ He gave a rueful smile. ‘It’s emotionally starved people who get obsessed with trinkets and objets , isn’t it?’ He inserted the tip of his cigar inside the cutter. ‘Wherever did you find the damned thing?’

She looked at him. ‘Can’t you remember where you lost it?’

‘I can’t. I’d been racking my brain, to no avail. Haven’t the foggiest. Where was it?’

‘I found it at La Sorciere. On the terrace outside the french windows.’

‘At La Sorciere? That’s my late brother’s place on Grenadin. On the terrace, did you say?’ He struck a match and put it to his cigar.

‘Yes. I found it on the night your brother was killed. The cigar cutter was lying not far from the gun.’ She paused. ‘The gun your brother was shot with.’

‘Shouldn’t one say, the gun with which your brother was shot? Or am I being pedantic?’

‘You came to Grenadin that night, didn’t you?’ Renee said quietly.

‘You think I did?’

‘I know you did. I smelt cigar smoke. Funnily enough I thought of you at once.’

‘Is that so? What was that famous scene — it’s in a book — now, what was it?’ Gerard tapped his fingers across his forehead. ‘No, don’t tell me! Jane Eyre ? Yes! Jane catches the whiff of Rochester’s cigar and she says, I know it well . She is clearly thrilled. Well, Victorians knew how to convey eroticism.’

‘Gerard-’

‘Both Rochester and Jane are in the garden at Thornfield. The cigar smoke mingles with sweet-briar and southern-wood, jasmine, pink, and rose . With the heroine giddy on these scents, only one outcome is possible, Charlotte Bronte makes that abundantly clear. So you believe I was at La Sorciere on the fatal night, do you?’

‘I do. At the crematorium I saw you scratch your hand. I remembered you saying once you’d never live somewhere like Grenadin because of the blood-sucking mosquitoes.’

He glanced down at his hand. ‘Gone now. You think that was a mosquito bite? What if I told you I suffer from an allergy related to eggs? What if I told you that my wife filches my cigars and actually smokes them? Perhaps it was Felicity who was in Grenadin on the fatal night?’

‘Where were you on the fatal night?’

‘In Scotland. Fishing. Felicity was in London. Or so she said. We haven’t got much in common, I fear. I used to be fond of her, but we’ve drifted apart. Happens often in marriages, or so I am told. Well, either of us could have gone to Grenadin, I suppose, without the other one knowing. It isn’t as inconceivable as if, say, that stuffed mongoose over there’ — he pointed with his cigar — ‘should suddenly wag its tail and say hello, is it?’

‘Why should Felicity want to kill your brother?’

‘Same reason as me, my dear. Money . Felicity’s awfully keen on expanding her antiques business. Besides, she’s always found Roderick a trial, ever since he insisted on shooting an apple off her head … You don’t really think it was me who plugged Roderick in the head, do you?’

‘How do you know he was shot in the head?’

‘I watched that videotape … One can actually see the gun protruding from between the window curtains!’

‘What tape are you talking about?’

‘Someone sent us a tape. A recording of the dumbshow you put on at La Sorciere … I knew what it was at once. The Murder of Gonzago . Fratricide is a jolly interesting subject. Old Hamlet was, by all accounts, a pussycat and he didn’t really deserve the earful of poison he got.’

‘Your brother phoned you the day before he died. Basil Hunter mentioned it to me. Your brother was quite horrible to you — he told you to go and kill him — he told you that was the only way to get hold of his money … You aren’t going to deny that such a conversation took place, are you?’

‘No, I am not. Perfectly true.’ Gerard nodded. ‘Roderick was frightfully rude to me. I’d been badgering him for money, but then Papa did say on his deathbed we must help each other. Roderick had an awful lot of money and yet he refused to finance the Dilettanti Droug Press, or rather he kept saying he would think about it. He was frightfully rude to me on the phone.’

‘Were you upset?’

‘Of course I was upset. I must admit I got angry too. Furious . I felt — well, I felt like killing him.’ Gerard regarded the burning end of his cigar. There was a pause. ‘They can’t prove if someone’s been to a foreign country, can they?’

‘They can.’

‘They’d have one’s details at the airport, I suppose … It’s all computers now, isn’t it? Then there are the stamps in one’s passport and so on. Unless one has used a false passport? Apparently an awful lot of people travel on false passports, I read somewhere.’

‘You would have been caught on CCTV cameras,’ Renee said a trifle wearily. ‘They are everywhere.’

‘Are they? Damn. No privacy these days. What if I’d changed my appearance?’

‘Gerard, this could be serious-’

‘I could have worn a false moustache … It’s the kind of thing that happens in detective stories … As a matter of fact, detective stories could be vehicles for all kinds of ideas, so perhaps I shouldn’t sneer at them,’ he went on in a meditative voice. ‘And nobody could stop me if I decided to write sentences like “His sleuthorial instincts were stimulated.” I mean I could experiment in all kinds of ways … Incidentally, did you tell anyone where and when you came across my cigar cutter?’

‘No. No one knows about it.’

‘I am glad.’ Suddenly he laughed. ‘So if I were to kill you now, the secret, as they say, would die with you!’

‘I feel so awful, I wouldn’t mind dying,’ Renee Glover whispered.

‘My memory’s getting worse. What is a meta -documentary once again, not that it matters the tiniest bit, but do remind me?’ Lady Grylls cupped her ear with her hand. ‘I see . You are so terribly clever, Hughie, they must have hated you in the army, or did you contrive to keep a low profile?’

‘I was clever enough not to let anyone suspect me of being clever at all. I believe I managed to blend in. Actually I was quite popular with my brother officers.’