Alan Hunter - Gently Go Man

‘And about meeting in here?’

‘Yuh,’ Hallman said.

‘And bribing a couple of transport drivers to witness your alibi for you.’

Hallman stirred, his eyes rolled a little as he tried to keep them fixed on Gently’s. ‘Like whose saying we bribed them, you tell me screw,’ he said.

‘It’s true anyway,’ Salmon put in. ‘We dug you feeling round our engines. We’ve been sitting here since after lunch, and you know it, screw.’

‘So they were only paid to tell the truth,’ Gently said.

‘Yuh,’ Salmon said. ‘That’s why we paid them. Like you’d come in here trying to hang us up somehow, and wouldn’t go much on what Tony told you.’

‘And why should I come in here doing that?’

‘Screws,’ Salmon said, ‘we know them.’

‘You knew I was going to come in here?’

‘Yuh,’ Salmon said. ‘No.’

‘Which way do you want it?’ Gently asked.

‘Like it’s none of your business,’ Salmon said. ‘We can sit here if we want to. And we can pay money if we want to.’

‘For an alibi for nothing?’

‘Like never mind!’ Hallman said.

‘I don’t mind,’ Gently said. ‘I’m just interested, that’s all.’

He sucked some of the milkshake through his straws and took a bite from the sandwich. None of the others was eating or drinking. They sat still. They looked unhappy. When some traffic went by they would all glance out of the window. Tony was also watching the traffic, he was leaning nervously on his elbows.

‘How much longer,’ Gently asked, ‘do you think I ought to wait here?’

They looked startled. Hallman glared, Salmon pouted and dropped his eyes.

‘I’ve other business,’ Gently said. ‘But I don’t want to spoil the fun. You’ve taken some pains to lay it on, and I wouldn’t like to disappoint you.’

‘Smart,’ Hallman said. ‘You’re being smart, screw, aren’t you?’

‘That’s a screw’s business,’ Gently said.

‘Yuh,’ Hallman said. ‘A screw’s business.’

‘You can sling your hook,’ Salmon said. ‘We don’t care what you do.’

‘Tony,’ Gently said, ‘what do you say?’

‘I don’t wanta the trouble,’ Tony moaned.

‘Shut your trap, Tony,’ Hallman said. ‘Who says there’s going to be trouble?’

Tony wrung his arms again, tried to wind himself into the counter. Time crept by. Gently finished his sandwich, got only a bubbling from the bottom of his glass. The general unhappiness was increasing, nobody was looking at Gently now. Salmon was frowning in a ferocious way. The faces of some of the others were flushed. Only Gently, lighting his pipe, looked relaxed and mildly amused.

‘Set up a couple more shakes, Tony.’

Tony came out of the counter with a jerk.

‘You want I maka you two more shakes?’

‘Yes,’ Gently said. ‘Then we’ll have them ready.’

‘Smart,’ Hallman said bitterly.

‘Just not dumb,’ Gently said.

‘You don’t know nothing,’ Hallman said. ‘ Big-headed screws being smart.’

Tony made the shakes. The timing was good. He was pouring out the second one when the two motorcycles pulled in. Nobody looked out of the window, Gently was sitting with his back to it. They heard the engines being killed, the rests kicked down, footsteps. The footsteps stopped in the doorway. Gently jetted out some smoke.

‘Come in,’ he said. ‘Don’t be shy. You’ve kept us waiting twenty minutes.’

‘Well, look who’s here,’ Bixley said, strutting in and making a posture. ‘Like our big-deal screw from the Smoke has come slumming again.’ He stood feet apart, arms on hips, staring mockingly at Gently. He was wearing a windcheater and jeans. A nervous, dark-eyed youngster accompanied him.

‘Yeah, slumming,’ Bixley grinned. ‘That’s the tag for what he’s doing. Waiting for you and me, Alfie, thinking up some jazz to put across us. Isn’t that nice of the screw, Alfie? Don’t he look a real square’s square? Slumming here along with some jees and thinking up jazz to put across us!’

‘Have I met you?’ Gently said to Alfie.

‘Meet the screw, Alfie,’ said Bixley. ‘Man, he’s got big eyes for you. Like keep it down or you’ll get slapped.’

‘What’s your surname?’ Gently asked.

‘Tell the screw,’ Bixley said.

‘Alfie Curtis,’ Alfie said. He looked worried, kept his eyes down.

‘Now he’ll ask you questions,’ Bixley said. ‘That’s what screws do, they ask questions, Alfie. Like where you’ve been since lunch, that sort of crap. You know?’

‘I know,’ Alfie said. It didn’t seem to make him happier.

‘You’ll love this screw,’ Bixley said. ‘He’s a real wild screw, man.’

He swung round on his heel, strode across to the counter. Tony pointed a trembling finger at the two milkshakes. Bixley pulled off his gloves and grabbed a shake off the counter. He jerked the straws on to the floor, swallowed down the shake at one draught. He burped. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

‘So ask your questions, screw,’ he said. ‘Something hanging you up, is there?’

Gently smiled, shook his head. ‘I know the answers,’ he said. ‘Screws don’t ask questions when they know the answers.’

‘He’s being smart,’ Hallman said. ‘He makes you sick, he’s so smart, Sid.’

‘Like that, is it?’ Bixley said. ‘He comes out here to be smart, does he?’

‘Yuh, smart,’ Hallman said.

‘He comes to the right place,’ Bixley said. ‘We’ve got a way with smart screws. They get to wondering how smart they are.’

He came back stiff-legged to the table, stood right beside Gently.

‘Let’s hear those answers, screw,’ he said. ‘Could be they don’t quite fit the questions.’

‘Are you worried about it?’ Gently asked.

‘Like do as I say,’ Bixley said. ‘You’re a long way from the screw-shop, and nobody’s going to ring it for you.’

‘You’d better sit down,’ Gently said.

‘Like there isn’t a chair,’ Bixley said.

‘You can pull one up from the next table.’

‘Like there isn’t room,’ Bixley said.

Gently shrugged. ‘Well, what do you want to know?’

‘Just the answers,’ Bixley said. ‘Like where you think Alfie’s been since lunchtime, and where I’ve been. That’s all, screw.’

Gently puffed. ‘Alfie’s been out riding with you,’ he said. ‘You picked him up after lunch, said it was a nice day for a ride. Then you rode off towards Norwich or made a detour in that direction. And now you’ve just come back and you’ve dropped in here for a milkshake.’

‘Crazy, isn’t he?’ Bixley said. ‘I wonder how he knew all that?’

‘Have I got it right?’ Gently asked.

‘Yeah,’ Bixley said. ‘Somebody told you.’

‘Here’s some more,’ Gently said. ‘Alfie was thrilled to have you ask him. He hasn’t had a bike for long. He doesn’t ride as well as you, Sid.’

‘Didn’t I say he was wild?’ Bixley inquired. ‘This is the wildest screw ever. How long have you had that bike, Alfie?’

‘Like two and a half months,’ Alfie said.

‘And how do you ride it?’ Bixley asked.

‘I get along,’ Alfie said.

‘But not like me?’ Bixley said.

‘Not like you,’ Alfie admitted. ‘You’re the mostest on a bike, Sid. Don’t reckon I’ll ever ride like you.’

Bixley stooped, advanced his face towards Gently’s. ‘You notice how right you’re being, screw?’ he said. ‘You’ve got the answers, so like you’d better stay with them. Then you’ll really be smart. For a screw.’

‘I hadn’t finished,’ Gently said.

‘Don’t come it clever, screw,’ said Bixley.