Стюарт Вудс - Standup Guy

“You’re such a wuss, Stone.”

“What’s a wuss? I’m confused.”

“Something between a nerd and a 1955 square.”

“I’m still confused.”

“Of course you are, that’s why you’re a wuss.”

• • •

They got back into Stone’s garage without killing anybody, but Stone still felt a little queasy.

“You want to watch the Lees on 60 Minutes ?” Holly asked, handing him back the keys.

“Just as soon as I’ve had a bourbon and Alka-Seltzer.”

• • •

They ordered a pizza and ate it in bed, naked. Stone switched on the program and was surprised to see the Lees in comfortable armchairs, wearing sweaters and jeans. A fire crackled in the fireplace behind them. Lesley Stahl was doing the interviewing.

“First question,” Stahl said: “Why did you two want to do this live, instead of on tape?”

“Because this way we get to edit ourselves, instead of having you do it for us,” Will said, getting a laugh from Kate.

“I want the camera to pan around and give our viewers a look at the family quarters of the White House,” Stahl said, “because it’s so rarely seen.” The camera followed her orders, revealing cozy furniture, bookcases, and even a bar. “Does the bar get used often?” she asked.

“Not as often as Will would like,” Kate said, “but now that I’m a lady of leisure, I let him make me a martini before dinner.”

“I envy her out-of-workness,” Will said, “and I’m looking forward to experiencing that myself.”

“So that you can drink more martinis?” Stahl asked.

“I’m a Southerner, a bourbon drinker.”

“What’s your brand?”

“I won’t answer that until I’m a free man and can get paid for it. Let’s just say that I enjoy giving the state of Kentucky a little business now and then.”

“Let’s go back a couple of weeks and look at a bit of videotape from our New York affiliate,” Stahl said.

The shot was of Will leaving the Blue Note, claiming ignorance of whom Kate was dining with.

“Mrs. Lee, can you enlighten us? With whom were you dining?”

“If I told you, then he would know,” she said, pointing at Will.

“I’ve heard that it was a gathering of twenty prominent Americans,” Stahl said. “Come on, tell us who?”

“I can’t remember that many names,” Kate said. “Can’t a lady throw a party now and then?”

“Is that what it was? A party?”

“And a pretty good one, too.”

“My sources tell me that a ticket to that party cost a million dollars.”

“I don’t think there’s that much caviar in the world,” Kate said. “And no caviar was served.”

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” Stahl said.

“You’re very perceptive, Lesley. But now that I’m not pulling down a government salary I can throw a party without publishing the guest list in the White House daily schedule. It’s very liberating.”

• • •

Holly turned toward Stone. “I’ll bet you know something about this.”

“Maybe.”

“Come on, give!”

“Didn’t you hear the lady? It’ll cost you a million dollars to find out.”

“Who do I make the check to?”

“That would tell you more than Kate wants you to know.”

• • •

“Mr. President,” Stahl said, “can you shed some light on this?”

“I wasn’t there,” Will said, “and I’ve got your videotape to prove it. And I haven’t seen the guest list, either.”

“All right, then let me ask you a substantive question: How much advice have you received from your wife over the past eight years, and how good was it?”

“First of all,” Will said, “since she was director of Central Intelligence for all that time, I got regular office-hours briefings from her, and they were superb.”

“How about after office hours?”

“I got advice from Kate then, too, and it may surprise you to learn that it was very often about domestic affairs. She has an abiding interest in what goes on inside this country and inside the government, and the advice I got from her about those things was always right on the mark. In fact, I would put her in the top two or three among my advisers on domestic matters.”

• • •

“That sounds to me like an endorsement,” Holly said.

“And I think that’s as close as Will will come to one.”

“Now that 60 Minutes has asked about that party,” Holly said, “everybody in the media is going to be all over this.”

“I’m afraid you’re right,” Stone said.

“And you were at the party, weren’t you?”

“Yes, I was.”

“And it cost you a million dollars?”

“It did.”

“That can mean only one thing,” Holly said, poking him in the ribs. “She’s going to run for office.”

“Kate can do whatever she wants now, what with Will finishing his second term.”

“Well, with the convention looming, it’s too late for her to run for president,” Holly said, “so it would have to be for the senate in Georgia, wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know if there’s an open seat down there,” Stone replied.

“Then she must be going to—”

Stone kissed her. “Shhhhhh,” he said, then switched off the TV.

15

When Stone awoke the following morning, Holly was gone, and her side of the bed had been neatly made up. When he sat down at his desk after breakfast, there was an e-mail from Holly’s personal account.

Check this link, it said, and an address was spelled out. He clicked on it. The site was called Crazy Rumors and Wild Speculation .

Last night on 60 Minutes , the top was peeled off a new political can of worms, namely the “party” thrown by First Lady Katherine Rule Lee last week at the Lees’ Carlyle Hotel penthouse for twenty very rich Americans, each of whom allegedly contributed a million dollars to be there. But contributed to what? That’s serious political money, and only a run for one of three offices would attract such a sum: a senate seat or the presidency or the vice presidency. Kate Lee is a Georgia resident, and the incumbent is a Democrat well positioned for reelection, so that’s out; it’s too late to run for president, what with the primaries nearly over and the convention looming, so that’s out. That leaves the vice presidency, and nobody stages a campaign for that. But if Kate wants to be president someday, such a campaign might be a smart move. She’s young enough to wait eight years before going for the big job, so we might be seeing something new in national politics. The names of the Big Twenty shouldn’t be hard to figure out (see below), and by the way, we hear there were twenty-one guests. Who’s the extra man or woman?

• • •

Stone checked the list below and found it to be substantially accurate, but his name was not there. He replied to the e-mail: Sounds like a pretty good guess to me. He clicked SEND.

Joan appeared at the door. “There’s a political reporter from the Times on the phone, named Josh Altman. Do you want to speak to him?”

Stone thought for a moment, then picked up the phone. “This is Stone Barrington.”

“Josh Altman at the Times , Mr. Barrington.”

“Good morning.”

“Did you see the interview with the president and first lady on 60 Minutes last night?”

“Yes, I did.”

“A source is telling me that you were the twenty-first person on the guest list of that party. Is that true?”

“I had dinner with the president and the first lady last week,” he said.

“And what was discussed at that dinner?”

“It was a private dinner and a private conversation.”