Tasha Alexander - A Fatal Waltz

“It makes no difference. Either way I’ll know your reaction.”

“I’m going inside before you grow even more tedious,” I said. “I do hope you enjoy gauging my response to your missive.” I marched into the hotel and doubled back through the lobby to make sure he hadn’t followed me. He did not reappear, but I found Jeremy sitting on a couch in the smoking room, cigarette in his hand.

“What are you doing still down here?” I asked, taking the seat next to him.

“Nothing.”

“I’ve had an adventurous afternoon,” I said.

“Is that so?” He studied his cigarette as if it held the secrets of the universe.

“Another encounter with Mr. Harrison.”

He bristled. “Did he harm you? I shouldn’t have let you leave the hotel without me.”

“I’m perfectly fine. A bit scared, if I’m honest, but more angry than anything.”

“Do you need something from me, Em?”

“I can’t stand this silence between us. I need your friendship. I miss you, Jeremy, and I hate feeling so distant from you. Will you never laugh with me again?”

“I’ve behaved abominably,” he said, tapping his cigarette on a crystal ashtray.

“You behave abominably nine-tenths of the time. What makes this instance so different?”

He dropped his head against the back of the seat and blew a stream of silver smoke towards the ceiling. “I suppose there’s no use hiding the truth from you.”

“There’s nothing you need hide from me.”

“Oh, Em…” He groaned. “I love you. I suppose I always have. But when I kissed you…” He sat up straight and at last let a smile escape, then shook his head. “You’ve ruined me.”

“Jeremy, I—”

“Don’t say it. I know you love Hargreaves, et cetera, et cetera. Spare me the romantic details, will you?”

“You’ll meet someone else, these feelings will—”

“No, I won’t have it. Don’t tell me to look elsewhere, that my feelings will change. I don’t want them to. You know what an obstinate brat I am.”

“You only feel like this because I’m unattainable. You’ve never wanted to marry,” I said.

“I’ll admit there’s some truth in that, but you needn’t point it out so callously. I may be a cad, but I do have some feelings. You could at least acknowledge the terrible pain I’m suffering.” I could hear the beginnings of a smile in his voice.

“Now you sound like your old self.” I stopped myself from reaching across and patting his arm.

“I see what you’re doing. Afraid to touch me now, are you?”

“I only—” I sighed. “I don’t want to make things worse for you.”

“Things couldn’t be worse for me, and you can blame yourself not only for my own broken heart, but for the demise of the House of Sheffield. I shall never marry.”

“You always were a master of melodrama.”

“We all must have some skill. But my uncle will thank me. If I lead a dissolute enough life, I may die early. He’s always coveted my estate, and even if I should outlive him, his idiot son will inherit. And you, my dear girl, will have single-handedly destroyed one of the oldest families in England.”

“Mmm.” I smiled. “I see now why you don’t want to marry. This makes for a much better story.”

“I shall forever be known as the Bachelor Duke.”

“I can already hear the mothers of every eligible girl in England keening.”

“What’s the provision for bastard children? Perhaps I could father some, and they’d challenge my cousin for the title.”

“They’d never be allowed to inherit.”

“How disappointing. I’ve quite a wonderful vision of them laying siege to Farringdon. Whose side do you think my tenants would take?”

“How generous are you with them at harvest time?”

“I love your cynicism.” He released a long breath. “I feel much better having this out in the open. You don’t despise me for having kissed you?”

“I could never despise you. Besides, this wasn’t the first time.”

“Em! I may be a monster, but I do make a point of remembering which ladies I’ve kissed.”

“I was ten years old. We were by the lake on my father’s estate. I’d fallen out of a tree. You picked me up off the ground, made sure nothing was broken, and kissed me.”

“So you’re suggesting that I make a habit of kissing women I’ve rescued?”

“Yes. And I’ve problems more pressing than your debauched methods of consolation.”

He lit another cigarette and studied my face, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Tell me—did you enjoy it? Just a bit?”

“Maybe a very little bit.” I couldn’t help smiling. “Your… technique has improved over the years.”

“You’re very bad. I shall live on that for the next five years. After that, take heed, I have every intention of kissing you again.”

“And I every intention of avoiding it.”

“You’re right, Em, this is why I love you.”

I had glanced at the paper Mr. Harrison had given me as soon as I’d walked into the lobby, and looked at it again now as I sat with Jeremy. It contained a single sentence:

I will take great pleasure in destroying all your happiness.

“What are you going to do?” Jeremy asked, leaning over to read it with me.

“I don’t know,” I said, and quickly recounted for him all that had happened.

“You don’t need to worry about Hargreaves. No one’s going to kill him.”

“I’m not certain that’s a subject on which I can trust you.” I smiled.

“Well, I might kill him, certainly, if the circumstances were right. But seriously, Em. You can’t spend your life trying to save him from his work. You have to trust that he knows what he’s doing.”

“Schröder will assassinate him if I stop bringing him information.”

“Do you trust Kristiana to help you?”

“To a degree.” I rubbed my temples. “I’m just afraid. How can I leave him?”

“Harrison wants you to stay in Vienna. That’s why he’s orchestrated all this,” Jeremy said. “Have you forgotten that he’s your prime suspect for Fortescue’s murder? Don’t you think he wants you far away from any evidence that could implicate him?”

“Then who is trying to lure me back to England?” It all sounded reasonable when Jeremy said it, but I could not shake the feeling that he was absolutely wrong.

“I’ve not the slightest idea.” He let his eyes meet mine for a beat longer than he ought to have, then looked down. “I can hardly bear to look at you. I’m never going to forgive you for bringing angst to my life, Em.”

“Perhaps it’s the punishment you’ve earned for living such a profligate life.”

“It would help if you’d stop being so bloody charming.” He kissed my hand.

“I think my new mission will be to find you a wife. I can’t think of anything that would make me less appealing to you. Let’s see…whatever happened to Lettice Frideswide? She’s not yet engaged, is she?”

Two days later, Sissi came to us at the Imperial for tea. As one might imagine, the arrival of an empress at a hotel caused a furor. She came with two bodyguards, who stood at her side while the manager made an impromptu speech and presented her with an Imperial torte. She gave a faint smile to the crowd that gathered to watch (Meg alerted us to the excitement so that Cécile and I didn’t miss it) and looked relieved when we whisked her upstairs.

“I’m so tired,” she said, once we were ensconced in our suite. “But it’s such a relief to be out of the palace.”

“We’re glad you could come,” I said. “I can’t thank you enough for sending your guard.”

“I hope it’s helped,” she said.