P. Chisholm - A Surfeit of Guns

Carey’s eyes were narrowed down to bright blue slits. “Indeed, Your Majesty.”

“Bonnetti is in the midst of lading his…ah…his purchases into his ship. He is still not aware of any…problems.” King James beamed. “I gave him some gunpowder I’d no use for.”

“Your Majesty is most kind.”

King James let out a shout of laughter. “I am that. Now,” he said again. “I’m no’ an unreasonable man. I see ye’re in a difficult position with the armaments and I would like to put a proposal to ye.”

Carey’s eyebrows went up.

“Oh?” he said.

“Ay, I would. I…we would like to sell ye our…spare weapons for the price of twenty shillings a gun, it being wholesale, as it were.”

Carey’s face was completely unreadable. There was a short silence.

“I should hate to make a similar mistake to Lord Maxwell’s,” he said cautiously at last.

King James nodded vigorously. “Of course ye can check them over, fire them off a few times, take them apart if ye like. Ye’ll find they’re right enough: most of them have the Tower maker’s mark on them which was a surprise to me.”

Carey nodded, face completely straight. “Of course,” he murmured. “May I ask if Your Majesty has sufficient weapons to defend yourself against Bothwell?”

“It’s kind o’ ye to be concerned for us, Sir Robert,” said the King. “But we have decided there is no need to burn Liddesdale since the headmen there have come in and composed with us so loyally. Richie Graham of Brackenhill has made a handsome payment, for instance. And we have it on excellent authority that Bothwell has gone to the Highlands. We had always rather make peace than war, as ye know. Besides, it often strikes us that when ye give a man a weapon ye dinna always ken what he’ll use it for.”

If Carey disapproved of this reversal of policy, there was no sign of it in his face. He tilted his head politely, though he seemed very depressed about something.

“Now,” said King James, who hated to see any man so sad. “I would have wanted to talk to ye in any case, Sir Robert, even without all this trouble.”

“Your Majesty does me too much honour,” said Carey, mechanically, as if he were thinking about something else.

“Not a bit of it,” said King James, leaning forward to pat the man’s shoulder. “It’s the horse.”

“The horse?”

“Ay. That big black beast o’ yours.”

“Thunder?”

“That’s the one. Now it seems to me ye’ll hardly be doing much tilting whilst ye’re Deputy Warden, and he’s the finest charger I’ve seen in a long weary while, myself. What would you say to selling him to me for, say, half the gold finder’s fee ye got from the Italian, at the same time as you sign over to me all the bank drafts in payment for the guns. Eh?”

Carey paused and then spoke carefully. “Let me be sure I’ve understood Your Majesty. You will give me the guns Lord Spynie reived from the Newcastle convoy to Carlisle…”

“I never said they were the same, only that they were originally from the Tower of London.”

“Of course, Your Majesty. You will give me your spare guns, release my men Red Sandy Dodd and Sim’s Will Croser from the Dumfries lock-up, give me all my gear back including my pair of dags…”

“They’re waiting for ye downstairs,” put in the King helpfully.

“…in exchange for Thunder, several hundred pounds English of banker’s drafts and half my liquid cash.”

“Only half.”

“Your Majesty, I am overwhelmed.”

“Is it a done deal?” asked King James.

“If the weapons have not been tampered with by…any ill-affected persons, then yes, Your Majesty, it is a deal.”

“Excellent,” beamed King James. “Have some wine, Sir Robert. Oh, and what would ye like me to do with Sir Henry Widdrington?”

Carey compressed his lips together and looked down.

“May I think about it, Your Majesty?”

“Ye can, but not for long. He’s an Englishman, given leave to enter the realm, I must charge him and have him extradited or let him go. An’ I’m no’ so certain what the charge should be, neither.”

In fact this was another of King James’s games. He liked to tempt people; as usual he had already decided to release Sir Henry since it would save him a mountain of tedious letter-writing to the Marshal of Berwick, but he was interested to see what kind of revenge Carey would want.

He met the bright blue eyes and wondered uneasily if Carey had somehow penetrated his game. Carey still had his lips tight shut. At last he spoke.

“If you still have him here, Your Majesty, I want to talk to him in private.”

“Why?”

“I am afraid for his wife. I know she was the one who came to you with the information on her husband’s doings, and he may…be angry with her for her betrayal.”

And small blame to him, thought King James, a typical woman to do such a thing.

“Is she your mistress?” King James asked nosily.

Carey’s face went red like a little boy’s. At first the King thought it was embarrassment, but then he realised that Carey was pale skinned enough to go red with anger as well. Perhaps he had been a little tactless.

“No, Your Majesty,” Carey said quietly enough, and then smiled tightly. “Though not for want of my trying.”

“Ay well,” said the King comfortably. “They’re odd creatures, sure enough. I dinna understand my Queen at all and it’s not as if she’s been over-educated and addled her poor brains, she seems naturally perverse.”

Carey coughed and smiled more naturally. “Lady Widdrington is a woman of very strong character,” he said. “If I could make her my wife, I would be the happiest man in the Kingdom.”

“Oh ay?” said the King, sorry to hear it and wondering if Carey was about to ask him to do away with his rival somehow.

“Although to be honest,” Carey continued, “what I would like is to petition Your Gracious Majesty to string her husband up and make an end of him, unfortunately I am completely certain that if I did, she would marry any man in the world except me.”

King James shook his head sympathetically. “There’s no pleasing them, is there?” he said. “Ay well, I’m glad ye didna ask me to do it because I canna string him up in any case, our cousin the Queen would be highly offended if I took such liberties with any of her subjects.”

He caught Carey’s narrow look: that was as close as a King could come to an apology and he was glad that Carey had taken the hint.

“It would be a shame,” Carey said obligingly, “if Her Majesty were to be disturbed with any of these…er…problems.”

“It would,” agreed the King heartily.

“Such a thing would only be necessary if there was a further…er…problem with the guns. Or if my Lady Widdrington were to die unexpectedly for any reason whatever.”

King James sniffed in irritation at this piece of barefaced cheek, justified though it was. “We are quite sure that the guns are as they should be.”

“Lady Widdrington?”

“ I’ll speak with Sir Henry, if ye like. He’ll understand where his true interests lie.”

“Of course, Your Majesty. There is also the practical problem of getting the guns back to Carlisle, since I brought hardly any men with me. And as I said, two of them are in the Dumfries lock-up for fighting.”

The King waved a hand. “Speak to the Earl of Mar and we’ll bail your men and find ye an escort. Can ye lay your hands on the money?”

“I think so, Your Majesty,” said Carey resignedly, no doubt thinking of what the funds could have bought him if he had managed to keep them. “I hope so.” Still, you’ve no cause for complaint, Sir Robert, thought the King comfortably; I could have taken the lot of it for all the trouble you’ve caused me.