Alys Clare - Mist Over the Water

No, I was sure it wasn’t. I dug him playfully in the ribs. ‘What’s the matter, afraid they’ll make you stay in?’

I had been joking, but from the sudden heat in his face I realized I’d hit the bull. He muttered something, his face still red, and I reached for his hand. ‘They won’t.’ I stated it flatly. ‘If they do, I’ll come and get you.’

His smile widened. ‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

He gave a deep sigh. ‘Very well. I’ll go in as soon as they open the gates in the morning.’

We made Sibert as unmemorable as we could next morning. I fashioned a cap for him out of the woven scarf he was wearing round his neck, pulling it forwards to conceal his forehead and brows. His tunic was muddy from his trip across the fens, and I resisted the urge to brush it clean; cleanliness stood out more than dirt among a hard-working population, and it would be better if nobody remembered any details about the man who had come looking for the pale-haired monk. Just in case.

I didn’t let myself think too much about just in case .

As we ate our breakfast we concocted a story: Sibert would say his name was Faol and he worked with his father, who was a rat catcher, and did the monks have any areas of the abbey that were infested? If they said no, then Sibert was to pretend to have seen ominous signs, upon which we hoped the monks would be alarmed into inviting him to have a good look round. Once inside, it ought to be easy. This was, after all, an abbey that at present was in the throes of a major redevelopment, with a huge, new cathedral rising in place of the little Saxon church. Workmen were going in and out all day, no doubt swarming all over the building site. Indeed, our first idea had been to have Sibert pretend to be one of them. We had, however, realized that this disguise would not give him the excuse to venture into the abbey’s private areas; hence the rat-catching plan.

I saw him off with a hug and an encouraging word. I watched him as he hurried off up the alley. Then I went back inside and started to pray.

The pale-haired boy lay on his hard bed. He knew he could not stay alone there for long. One of the worst things about this new life into which he had been so abruptly thrust was the almost total lack of privacy. Not that he’d ever had much of that in his humble village home, but what he had always sought — and quite frequently managed to achieve — was solitude. Now every instant of the day and the night was spent in the close company of other people. Those people were monks, moreover, and to the last man senior to him in the religious life, which meant they were entitled to tell him what to do and make sure he did it. He had never in his life felt so many pairs of eyes studying his every move, and it unnerved him so badly that he barely knew himself.

As if that were not bad enough, he was terrified.

There was something quite dreadful within the abbey. He knew that without a shadow of a doubt. He had seen it. It had seen him , or it would have done if it had- No . He forced himself to arrest the thought. Wasn’t it enough that the fearful spectre haunted his brief snatches of uneasy sleep, without imagining it in his waking hours?

They called him Brother Ailred, but that was not his name. He was not sure that he ought to be called brother, for he was quite certain he had not taken any vows in the short time he’d been at Ely. But to whom could he protest? The other monks barely let him speak, and he was quite sure that if he tried nobody would listen.

As far as the pale-haired youth was concerned, his name was Gewis. He was fifteen years old, and he had been born and bred in a small village called Fulbourn, on the edge of the fens some five miles to the south-east of Cambridge. His home had been out to the south of the village, close to where the Gog Magog hills rose up. His father had died four years ago when Gewis was eleven. Gewis wished he had fonder memories of him, but the truth was that his father had been an embittered man, self-absorbed with little time and few kind words to spare for his young wife and son. His name was Edulf and he was a carpenter, or so he claimed, although Gewis had rarely seen a man less handy with the tools of his trade. As Gewis grew towards maturity and began to think about his childhood he realized that his mother Asfrior must have had an income of some sort, for otherwise the little family would surely not have survived. As soon as he was old enough, Gewis had picked up sufficient skill to take on carpentry jobs, at first only the simplest work that other men rejected as beneath them, then gradually progressing to more demanding tasks. The fact that the household depended on the young son and not the father for its income must, Gewis thought, have served only to increase Edulf’s anger with the world and resentment at his place within it.

Life at home with his mother had been in some ways easier without his father’s gloomy presence, although his mother had grieved long for her husband and, to Gewis’s dismay, now appeared to be as resentful as Edulf had been at her lowly lot. Gewis did not understand; it was as if both of them, first his father and now his mother, were angry about something. What it was, Gewis had no idea. All the thoughts he had wasted on trying to puzzle out the mystery led nowhere, and in the end he’d concluded only that at some time someone had somehow cheated his father out of some possession that would have made the family’s life easier, although what this possession might be he had no idea. He guessed that his father must have passed on this secret to his wife as he lay on his death bed, so that now she, too, was soured by constantly dwelling on what might have been.

It was a thin, unsatisfactory conclusion, and Gewis had never really been happy with it. There was something else, something he tried hard not to think about, especially now when he was away from his home and could not look after his mother. The unwelcome fact was that both of them, first Edulf and now Asfrior, had grown very, very afraid.

Given the underlying mystery that lay hidden in his past and the very evident fear of both his parents, Gewis had hardly been surprised when they had come to Fulbourn to seek him out. His mother’s reaction had been strange; it had almost been as if she’d expected the visitors. There were four of them, dressed in the robes of Benedictine monks, and all were broad, strongly built men. Even had Gewis thought to refuse the request that sounded like an order — that he accompany them there and then to the abbey at Ely — he would have stood no chance of evading or escaping them. They provided him with a garment that looked very much like a monk’s habit, similar to the robes they wore. He was given a moment to bid his mother farewell — she seemed to be encouraging him to go with the monks, so presumably it was all right — then they’d set off.

For most of the journey north to Ely he had felt too stunned to speak, and the presence of the four men who stationed themselves around him as they walked had been powerful enough that he’d dared not pose any of the dozens of questions that had flown to and fro in his mind like gnats over a summer meadow. It was only after they’d crossed the water to the island and were on the point of entering, through a gate in a shadowy alley, into the abbey itself that he’d managed to protest. His moment of rebellion had been very brief: one short cry, then the hard hand of the biggest monk had crushed against his lips and they’d bundled him inside.

In the days since then they had kept him very busy as slowly he learned the daily round of the monks. They told him virtually nothing. His only comfort had come when an old monk, with what he fervently hoped he was right in thinking to be a kindly smile, had leaned across to him and whispered, ‘Welcome. You’re safe here.’