Alys Clare - Mist Over the Water

I studied the rise and fall of his chest. He was breathing more deeply now, and that frightening gasp, pause, gasp as he struggled for air had eased. His face was not so deathly pale and his brow no longer had the sheen of sweat. Tentatively, hardly daring to hope, I stretched out my hand and put it on his forehead. He was still hot, still full of fever, but no longer burning up.

Perhaps it was time to hope that he just might live.

I sat down cross-legged beside his head and prayed.

Some time later Morcar opened his eyes. He looked at me, and it was instantly apparent that he had no idea who I was. Well, he hadn’t seen me for quite some time so that was not necessarily significant. I smiled. ‘Hello, Morcar,’ I said softly. No need to wake Sibert yet.

‘Hello,’ he responded. He stared around him, frowning.

‘You are in your lodgings on the island of Ely,’ I said. ‘You came here to find work, and you had an accident. You stuck an eel gleeve into your foot, and you have had a high fever.’

He absorbed that in silence for some moments. Then he said, ‘My head hurts.’

Yes, it would. ‘I’ll try to relieve it.’ I got up and squeezed out a fresh piece of linen in cold water, placing the cloth on his forehead.

‘Nice,’ he whispered. His eyes drooped closed.

I left the cloth in place until it grew warm, then removed it and plunged it back in the water. Then I put a drop of lavender on the fingers of each hand and, making small circles, very gently worked across his face from temples to the middle of his forehead and back again. He murmured and stirred but did not speak. Presently, I wrung out the cloth again and replaced it, leaving him to sleep.

I set about preparing the next batch of medicine. Now there were other ingredients to add besides the willow bark, and I frowned in concentration as I brought to mind Edild’s instructions. I was absorbed in my task, and when Morcar’s great cry rang out it made me jump so much that I scattered the contents of a sachet of dried hemp all over the floor.

I rushed to his side, reaching out to push him back for he was twisting and turning, trying to sit up, and I feared for the stitches in his foot if he went on moving so violently. ‘There, now, there, lie back, Morcar,’ I said, trying to make my voice steady, for I read pure horror in his wild eyes.

He collapsed back on to the bed, his face an agony of fear. ‘Don’t let it get me!’ he moaned. ‘Oh, they are there, and they are so dark ! I am afraid — so afraid!’

I put my hand on his head, holding it down, my other hand resting against his shoulder. ‘Be still,’ I crooned, ‘rest, Morcar.’ I sensed Sibert behind me. ‘We will look after you.’

‘Don’t let it get me!’ Morcar whimpered again.

They? It? I wondered what ghastly enemies he saw in his feverish mind. Suddenly, he caught sight of Sibert, and his terrified scream hurt my ears.

‘Hush, hush!’ I said. ‘Don’t be alarmed, it’s only Sibert. He’s my friend, and he has been helping me look after you.’

‘I have, she’s right!’ Sibert piped up anxiously. ‘You’re safe,’ he added.

Morcar stared from one to the other of us, his eyes still dark with fear and his lips moving soundlessly. Then he said, ‘Is it nearly morning?’

I was close to tears, pity for him undermining me. ‘Yes, Morcar.’

I saw him relax slightly. ‘They will not come while it is light, will they?’

‘No.’ I hastened to reassure him, although I had no idea what he was talking about. He went on staring up at us, and then slowly his eyes closed. His breathing deepened. He was asleep.

Slowly, I stood up, turning round to Sibert.

‘What on earth was that about?’ Sibert whispered.

I shrugged. ‘He’s still feverish. He was probably just rambling with delirium.’

Sibert looked down at him. ‘Poor man.’ Then, after a moment, ‘What shall I do now?’

I was so grateful for his support. So much so that, following on so closely after my moment of emotion over Morcar, for the second time I almost broke down. That, however, would have been self-indulgence, and, as Sibert had just reminded me, there was work to do.

‘Find Morcar a pisspot,’ I said firmly. ‘I’ve been pouring liquid into him on and off all night, and soon there will be some coming out. If we can judge the moment right, we might save ourselves having to change his bedding all over again.’

Evidently seeing the very good sense of that, Sibert nodded and, pulling his tunic over his head even as he unfastened the door, set out to resume his foraging.

I went to stand in the alley and took some breaths of the damp, morning air. Then I went back inside and went to look through Sibert’s pack to see what I might find for us to eat for breakfast.

The day seemed to crawl by on feet of lead. Sibert managed to find not only a pisspot but also fresh bread, a little jar of honey and a piece of cheese that was dry only round the edges. He sat with Morcar for a short time to allow me to go outside, relieve myself in the communal privy and stretch my legs, walking by the water. After my long night and morning, it felt like a feast day.

Morcar slept until twilight. Then, as if the onset of darkness had reawakened his fears, he opened his eyes, stared at me and said with total lucidity, ‘Hello, Lassair. I think I should warn you that they are trying to kill me, and it is my belief that they will not rest until they have done so.’

‘They pushed me into a filthy ditch,’ my cousin said, in a voice that even the least experienced healer would have judged was quite rational, ‘and they waited up on the bank until they thought I was drowned.’ A shudder went through him. ‘I could see them, looming up above me: huge, dark shapes like ghosts in their shrouds.’

I smoothed his brow with my hand, and he turned to look at me. ‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered.

What had he to be sorry about? ‘It’s all right,’ I said gently.

‘It was unspeakable down there,’ he said, eyes unfocused as he confronted the horrors in his memory. ‘There was a corpse, nothing but bones and slimy, rotten flesh.’ He shuddered again, his whole body shaking. ‘But I had to stay there, I had to!’ he cried, as if Sibert and I had questioned his judgement, ‘I had to hold my breath and make them think I was dead. I let out a few bubbles, then I made myself stop.’ He put a hand over his eyes, and I guessed he was trying not to weep.

‘They were up there watching you?’ Sibert asked.

Morcar removed his hand. His eyes were indeed wet with tears. ‘Yes. Still, quite still, like marble images. Dear God in heaven, I thought I would die down in that foul water! I could feel. . things floating around me, brushing against me, and I started to think there were maggots and leeches and foul things crawling on my skin, sucking my blood, and that. . that body, still in its rusty armour, bumping against my face.’ The horror overcame him and he retched, bringing up a mouthful of yellowish bile. Quickly, I reached for a cloth and wiped it away. He gave me a look of thanks.

‘When I could stand it no longer I broke surface and took in a mouthful of air,’ he said, calmer now. ‘I didn’t know if they were still there or if they’d decided I was drowned and gone away. Either way, I didn’t care. Death was preferable to another instant in that ditch.’ He drew a steadying breath.

‘They’d gone?’ Sibert asked.

‘Yes,’ Morcar said with the ghost of a smile, ‘or else I’d not be here now. I managed to get myself up out of the water and half way on to the bank, although how I did it I’ll never know. Then I lay there calling out, and in the end a monk came by and went for help.’