Dale Furutani - Kill the Shogun

Kiku-chan was clearly exhausted, but she made no complaints as they walked. Each step took her farther away from the horrors of the Little Flower.

Kaze could have continued, but he perceived the girl was getting too weary, so he found an accommodating farmer who let him use his barn. Kaze and the girl settled in amid the smell of hay and animals and fell asleep almost immediately.

Kaze didn’t know how long he was asleep before the Lady came to him in his dreams. This was the normal way for a Japanese to talk to the dead, so this neither disturbed nor surprised him. His previous encounters with the deceased Lady had been in the form of a faceless obake, a ghost, so this encounter seemed almost normal.

In his dream, the Lady descended from heaven with blue tendrils of clouds trailing after her. She was dressed in her most beautiful kimono, the one with the red-headed cranes flying across a silk field of gray clouds. Their majestic white wings beat the air, causing the clouds to billow about, and Kaze was not sure if the clouds were painted on the kimono or actual clouds that clung to the Lady.

Kaze bowed as the Lady drew near to him. When he straightened out, he was pleased to see that her face was as lovely and serene as he remembered, and that she was actually smiling. She was no longer faceless.

“So you know?” Kaze asked.

She nodded.

“Your daughter is with me. She … well, she’s had a hard time of it, my Lady. I don’t know what kind of life I can arrange for her. I always thought that after I found her, I would find some relative of yours who would take care of her. Perhaps I can still do that. In the meantime, she must stay with me. It is not an easy life. I am wandering constantly and don’t know what dangers still wait for me. Okubo was not loved by his clan, but it will be a point of honor for his vassals to hunt me down and kill me. When my role in bringing about the downfall of Yoshida and Niiya is known, their clan will be intent on revenge, too. In addition, Lady, I don’t know how to take care of a child, especially a ten-year-old girl. In my former life, I had a wife and servants to take care of children. Now I have neither and, frankly, my Lady, now that your daughter is free, I’m not sure that I am the one she should stay with.”

The Lady continued looking at Kaze, a curl of amusement broadening the edges of her smile.

He sighed. “All right. I can see you’re determined that the girl should stay with me. I’ll do my best, my Lady, but I’m not sure my best will be the best for the girl. Shikata ga nai . I guess it can’t be helped. But tell me, Lady, are you happy? Can I go to your funeral temple and reclaim my short sword, my wakizashi, the keeper of the samurai’s honor? Is my honor mine again?”

The Lady smiled and nodded yes. Continuing to smile, her body ascended back to heaven. Kaze watched her rise into the cloudy skies, growing smaller and smaller until she disappeared entirely.

Kaze was about to drift back into a mindless sleep when suddenly he felt the Lady was next to him again. This time, however, her body was right next to his. Confused, Kaze asked the Lady, “Is there something more?”

The dream figure of the Lady looked at Kaze, but she was not smiling. Kaze didn’t understand why her ghost would invade his dreams a second time in one night, and asked, “What is it you want, my Lady?”

The ghost of the Lady reached forward and pressed against Kaze’s chest. He was so astounded that he flinched. Then the ghost did something that made Kaze realize he was not dreaming. She slipped her small hand inside his kimono and touched his bare flesh. No matter what feelings Kaze might have for her, the Lady was still the wife of his Lord. Even in death, Kaze could not imagine her taking such an action. His eyes snapped open and he saw that Kiku-chan was snuggled up to him, with her hand placed inside his kimono. She was awake and watching him intently, as if looking for some sign.

“What are you doing?” Kaze said, roughly grabbing her arm and jerking it away from him.

Kiku-chan looked confused and in pain. She cried, “You’re hurting my arm!”

Kaze eased the grip on her arm. Kiku-chan was crying, her hot tears falling down on his kimono. Kaze hesitated a moment, then instead of shoving her away, he drew her next to him, placing his arms around her and comforting her.

“Don’t cry, Kiku-chan,” he said soothingly. “I know you’ve come from a place where you were taught to do things to please men, but those are not things I want you doing to me. There is nothing wrong with those things when they’re done by men and women, but they are wrong when an adult takes advantage of a child.

“The past few years must have been like a nightmare for you. There is nothing I can do to erase those years. There is also nothing I can do to restore your former life, when you were happy with your mother and father, and living in their castle. I can only deal with here and now, and even then the present is uncertain. I don’t know what the future will bring, but it’s likely to involve wandering and hardship and perhaps even danger. That is our karma. But from this moment, our karmas are linked, and I will do my best to make sure you are protected and safe.

“Your mother sent me to find you. It took almost three years, and I’m sorry for every second of those years, because you had to endure many hardships. I know that. But you have to know that I will cherish and protect you, no matter what. Do you understand that? You have my sacred word on it. You do not have to do things to please me as you were taught to do in that place. Do you understand, Kiku-chan? I am here to protect you, no matter what. Your mother wanted that, and so do I.”

The child looked up at Kaze. In the dim light of the barn, illuminated by moonlight filtering in through cracks in the board walls, Kaze saw confusion, uncertainty, and apprehension in the child’s face. But he also saw hope.