David Wishart - Parthian Shot

His word. Right; for what that was worth in dud copper. I let it pass, though. Like with Phraates, there was no point in putting the guy’s back up. ‘You could still have sent me a note,’ I said.

‘I could. I ought to have done, but…well, I don’t normally use this as an excuse, but I am a very busy man. I simply didn’t have the opportunity.’ Plausible, and there was no way I could check he was telling the truth. Par for the course, in other words, as was his whole attitude. Isidorus radiated concerned — but now slightly offended — innocence. I reckoned if he ever took to the boards he would clean up, especially in comedy. Good straight-men are pure gold. ‘Let me say, though,’ he added, ‘that I am most impressed with your efficiency.’

I grinned back at him; smarm again. That was another trait he shared with Phraates. It must go with the job. ‘Nothing to do with me, pal,’ I said. ‘A friend of mine did all the work. I just put two and two together and came up with the obvious answer.’

‘None the less, pointless exercise or not it’s an impressive achievement.’ Isidorus frowned down at the wax tablet in front of him. ‘It really was very bad of Phraates. He could at least have dropped a hint that it was a ploy of his own and saved everyone a lot of trouble. You’ve seen him? He apologised, I hope?’

‘Yeah. Yeah, we talked this morning.’

‘And he absolved you of any further involvement?’

‘No. Strangely enough he didn’t. In fact, he seemed quite keen that I carry on.’ I wasn’t going to mention the brothel tip; no way was I going to mention the brothel tip! If Isidorus wanted to play secrets then it was a double-handed game. I might not be a game-player, but I knew that much.

The frown had deepened. ‘My, my. Did he give you a reason?’

‘No, not in so many words.’

‘Hmm.’ He picked up the stylus lying beside the wax tablet and tapped it gently against his lips. ‘Don’t feel that you’re obliged to. Certainly not from our side of things. And — a word to the wise — I would be just a little wary of falling in with Prince Phraates’s wishes too readily. He’s a very charming man, of course, and well-intentioned enough, but all the same…’ He set the stylus down. ‘However, doubtless you can make your own mind up on that point.’

‘Yeah. Right. I can.’ I shifted in my chair. ‘In any case, there’s still the small question of Zariadres, isn’t there?’

‘Indeed.’ The frown was still there. ‘I thought perhaps that would be your answer. Well, we called you in, as you say, and if Phraates is happy for you to continue then we’ll leave it at that. However’ — he picked up the stylus again — ‘if — and I’m only giving you an example, of course — if you were to find that there were, shall we say, non-Roman factors involved then that might lead to certain difficulties eventually. Even embarrassments. You understand?’

‘Factors like Prince Tiridates and his Iberian pal?’

That got me a very straight look. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Possibly. Among others.’

‘And if one of the others were a Roman?’

Isidorus’s expression didn’t change. ‘Now there’s an interesting idea,’ he said mildly. ‘Did you have anyone in particular in mind?’

‘Sure. Lucius Vitellius.’

His eyes widened and he set the stylus down. ‘ Lucius? Why on earth should Lucius have anything to do with it?’

‘My guess is that he has a scam going with Tiridates and an Armenian merchant by the name of Titus Anacus.’ I’d expected some reaction, but the eyes didn’t shift. There wasn’t even a question in them. ‘Shit. You know about that already, don’t you?’

Suddenly, Isidorus laughed. It was so unexpected that I blinked. ‘My dear fellow, did I say before that I was impressed? I’m afraid if I say so again it will be an understatement. A very grave understatement. How on earth did you find out about Anacus?’

‘Ah…’

‘Never mind, it doesn’t matter.’ He was still chuckling. ‘You’re right, of course. Absolutely right. I’ve had my eye on that gentleman and his dealings with Tiridates ever since the unfortunate business over his daughter. He’s a schemer, naturally, but his ideas are far too big for his capabilities and quite impractical. And his wife is an absolute horror.’

Bugger; he sounded convincing, too. ‘Nevertheless, the scam exists?’

‘To give Anacus control of the Syrian pepper trade in return for a guarantee that Vitellius would support Tiridates should his uncle die in the near future? Oh, yes. Certainly it does. In Anacus’s mind at least. It’s complete pie-in-the-sky, of course, but as I say Anacus is a dreamer and a gambler, and his wife’s social aspirations don’t help, either. The spice trade is much too complex for any single person, however rich or well-connected, to hope for a monopoly.’

I didn’t like the sound of this. ‘So what about the other three? Tiridates, Mithradates and Vitellius?’

‘Oh, my dear chap! I’m afraid they’re rather taking advantage of the poor fellow, promising him the moon tomorrow in exchange for what they can get from him today, which I suspect is no inconsiderable amount. Anacus may be a fool in some ways, but he is extremely well-off.’

I didn’t believe I was hearing this. ‘And you don’t care? Jupiter, pal, an ex-consul, star of the senate, head of the commission to treat with the Parthian envoys and future governor of Syria is plotting with a guy doing his damnedest to murder his uncle who’s Rome’s candidate for the Great Kingship and you can laugh about it?’

‘Yes, Corvinus, I can.’ The smile vanished and Isidorus was suddenly serious. ‘Listen. Vitellius is not a fool, nor is Tiridates. Anacus wouldn’t be one either, if he sat down and thought things through for a change. I told you, the whole thing is a mare’s nest. Also, it is nothing whatsoever to do with me or this department. A monopoly — even a partial one — in the Syrian spice market is impossible, but even if it weren’t preventing it wouldn’t come within my remit. My job is to look after Rome’s interests vis-a-vis Parthia and the Eastern client-kingdoms. Yes, these do overlap to a certain extent with economic and mercantile concerns, but spices are luxuries not essential trade goods, and anything to do with the luxury trade is guaranteed to set the emperor’s blood boiling. For all Tiberius cares buyers and sellers can swindle each other to their hearts’ content, and if I were foolish enough to suggest devoting even a fraction of this department’s time to preventing them doing so he’d have my head by the next post from Capri. Quite rightly so.’ He paused. ‘So you see if Anacus allows himself to be gulled in exchange for a few nebulous promises which only a fool would trust to it’s no business of mine.’

‘Even if Prince Gaius is involved?’

Everything went very still.

‘I beg your pardon?’ Isidorus said.

Yeah, well, maybe I had surprised him at that, but I doubted it. I suspected where some things were concerned it wasn’t not knowing about them that fazed Isidorus; it was finding that someone else knew. I was learning a lot about diplomacy in this case.

‘It’s a fair bet.’ I held up my hand and counted reasons off on my fingers. ‘One. If there was involvement at the imperial level the scheme wouldn’t be quite so crack-brained after all, and Anacus needn’t be quite so gaga as you say he is. Two. Gaius is a personal friend of both Tiridates and Mithradates. Having the one as Great King and the other as king of Armenia when he gets to be emperor, which he will, would be a plus. Three, connected with two. Phraates is no spring chicken. Even if he does survive the journey and the campaign, he’s not going to be around for long. Tiridates is the natural heir. Why wait, especially since you might have to do things over again in a few years’ time and you can make a little on the side from not waiting in the meantime? Four, connected with three. By all accounts Prince Gaius isn’t exactly the plain-living sort, and if Anacus wanted to contribute the odd copper to keep him in the style he’s accustomed to then I’d bet that’d be fine by him. Five. The imperial choice isn’t as clear-cut these days as it was. Sure, Tiberius is still emperor, but he’s out of it in Capri. If — and I’m saying if — Phraates dies unexpectedly then having Gaius on the team to smooth over any wrinkles in connection with the takeover will be really useful. Now. You want to hear all that again at half speed or shall we take it as read?’