Donald Westlake - The Hot Rock

Kelp said, "We got an hour to kill before our train back. We might as well walk around."

Dortmunder shrugged. "All right, we'll walk around."

They walked around, and they didn't see anything encouraging. When they got to the rear of the building, they had to leave blacktopped road and walk across scrubby field. They stepped over the rusty orange tracks, and Chefwick said primly, "I keep my tracks in better condition than this."

"Well, they don't use these any more," Kelp said.

Murch said, "Look, one of the loonies is waving at us."

They looked, and it was true. One of the figures in white stood by the flower bed and waved at them. He was shielding his eyes from the sun with his other hand, and he was smiling to beat the band.

They started to wave back to him, and then Greenwood said, "Hey! That's Prosker!"

Everybody stood there with his hand up in the air. Chefwick said, "So it is." He pulled his hand down, and everybody else followed suit. In there by the flower bed Prosker waved and waved, and then began to laugh. He bent over and slapped his knee and went into a fit of laughter. He tried to wave and laugh at the same time and almost fell over.

Dortmunder said, "Greenwood, let me borrow it again."

"No, Dortmunder," said Kelp. "We need him to give us the emerald."

"Except we can't get at him," Murch said. "So it doesn't make any difference."

"We'll see about that," said Dortmunder, and shook his fist at Prosker, who as a result laughed so hard he sat down on the ground. A guard came over and looked at him, but didn't do anything.

Kelp said, "I hate it that we're beaten by a louse like that."

"We aren't," Dortmunder said grimly.

They all looked at him. Kelp said, "You mean-?"

"He can't laugh at me," Dortmunder said. "I've had enough, that's all."

"You mean we're going in after him?"

"I mean I've had enough," Dortmunder said. He looked at Kelp. "You go tell Iko to put us back on the payroll," he said and looked back at Prosker, who was now rolling around on the ground, clutching his ribcage and beating his heels into the turf. "If he thinks he can stay in that place," Dortmunder said, "he's crazy."

When the ebony man showed Kelp in, Major Iko was leaning over the pool table sighting down the cue like a sniper with a musket. Kelp looked at the lie of the table and said, "You go for the twelve like that, your cue ball is going to ricochet off the three and drop the eight."

Without moving, the Major lifted his eyes and looked at Kelp. "You're wrong," he said. "I have been practicing.

Kelp shrugged. "Go ahead," he said.

The Major sighted some more, then hit the cue ball, which hit the twelve, ricocheted off the three, and dropped the eight. "Banimi ka junt!" the Major said and threw the cue down onto the table. "Well?" he barked at Kelp. "It's been two weeks since Dortmunder agreed to do the job. Money keeps going out, but no emerald ever comes in."

"We're ready again," Kelp said and pulled a tattered list from his pocket. "This is the stuff we need."

"No helicopters this time, I hope."

"No, it's too far from New York. But we thought about it."

"I'm sure you did," the Major said dryly and took the list.

Kelp said, "Mind if I sink a couple?"

"Go ahead," the Major said and opened the sheet of paper.

Kelp picked up the cue, dropped the three, and the Major screamed, "A locomotive? "

Kelp nodded and put the cue down again. Turning to face the Major, he said, "Dortmunder thought there might be some question about that."

"Question!" The Major looked as though he'd been poleaxed.

"We don't actually need a big diesel locomotive," Kelp said. "What we need is something that runs on standard gauge tracks under its own power. But it's got to be bigger than a handcar."

"Bigger than a handcar," the Major said. He backed up till his legs hit a chair, on which he sat. The list hung forgotten in his hand.

"Chefwick is our railroad expert," Kelp said. "So if you want to talk things over with him, he'll let you know exactly what we need."

"Of course," the Major said.

"He could come over tomorrow afternoon," Kelp suggested.

"Of course," the Major said.

"If you could have your own people ready by then. For him to talk to."

"Of course," the Major said.

Kelp frowned at him. "You okay, Major?"

"Of course," the Major said.

Kelp went over and waved his hand in front of the Major's eyes. They didn't change, they kept staring at some point in the middle of the room. Kelp said, "Maybe I oughta give you a call later on. When you're feeling better."

"Of course," the Major said.

"It really isn't that big a locomotive we want," Kelp said. "Just a kind of a medium-size locomotive."

"Of course," the Major said.

"Well." Kelp looked around a little helplessly. "I'll call you later on," he said. "About when Chefwick should come over."

"Of course," the Major said.

Kelp backed to the doorway and hesitated there for a second, feeling the need to say something to buck the Major's spirits up a little. "Your pool is getting a lot better, Major," he said at last.

"Of course," the Major said.

Major Iko stood beside the truck, forehead furrowed with worry. "I've got to give this locomotive back," he said. "Don't lose it, don't hurt it. I have to give it back, it's only borrowed."

"You'll get it back," Dortmunder assured him. He checked his watch and said, "We've got to get going."

"Be careful with the locomotive," the Major pleaded. "That's all I ask."

Chefwick said, "You have my personal word of honor, Major, that no harm will come to this locomotive. I think you know my feeling about locomotives."

The Major nodded, somewhat reassured, but still worried. A muscle in his cheek was jumping.

'Time to go," Dortmunder said. "See you later, Major."

Murch would drive, of course, and Dortmunder sat in the cab beside him, while the other three got in back with the locomotive. The Major stood watching them, and Murch waved to him and drove the truck down the dirt road from the deserted farmhouse and out to the highway, where he turned north, away from New York and toward New Mycenae.

It was a very anonymous truck, with an ordinary red cab and a trailer completely swathed in olive drab tarpaulins, and no one they passed gave them a second look. But underneath the tarps lurked a very gaudy truck indeed, its sides combining brightly painted pictures of railroading scenes with foot-high red letters running the length of the trailer and reading, FUN ISLAND AMUSEMENT PARK - TOM THUMB. And underneath, in slightly smaller black lettering, The Famous Locomotive.

What strings the Major had pulled, what stories he'd told, what bribes he'd paid, what pressures he'd applied in order to get this locomotive, Dortmunder neither knew nor cared. He'd gotten it, that was all, within two weeks of the order having been placed, and now Dortmunder was going to go wipe that laugh from Attorney Prosker's face. Oh, yes, he would.

This was the second Sunday in October, sunny but cool, with little traffic on the secondary roads they were traveling, and they made good time to New Mycenae. Murch drove them through town and out the road toward the Clair de Lune Sanitarium. They rode on by, and Dortmunder glanced at it as they went past. Peaceful. Same two guards chatting at the main gate. Everything the same.

They traveled another three miles down the same road, and then Murch turned right. Half a mile later he pulled off to the side of the road and stopped, pulling on the handbrake but leaving the engine running. This was a woodsy, hilly area, without houses or other buildings. A hundred yards ahead stood a set of white crossbars, warning of a railroad crossing.