William Johnston - And Loving It!

“I think she’ll understand, Max.”

“It certainly was foresighted of the builder of this castle to put in this secret passageway,” Max said. “How do you suppose he knew, 99, that centuries later we’d need it to escape from Lucky Bucky Buckley?”

“Isn’t it just possible, Max, that he built it for himself?”

“Hardly, 99. Lucky Bucky Buckley wasn’t even born then.”

“Do you see anything, Max?”

“Only total darkness. And I’m not even sure about that. It doesn’t show up too well in this darkness.”

“If only we had a light!”

“Patience, 99. I think I see one up ahead.”

“A light?”

“Yes. It seems to be coming from under a doorway or something.”

“It must lead to a room. We’re safe, Max!”

When they reached the light, Max leaned his weight against the wall. It held firm.

“It isn’t a door,” he said. “It doesn’t rattle.”

“It’s probably a secret panel.”

“I hardly think so, 99.”

“Why not, Max?”

“Well, the man who built the castle knows about it, and you and I know about it. That doesn’t make it much of a secret any more.”

“Max, we can’t stay here. Try to break it down.”

He threw his weight against the wall. The panel splintered, and Max tumbled headlong into a room. 99 stepped out of the passageway behind him.

“Max!” she cried.

Max got to his feet. They had battered themselves back into Guru Optimo’s room. And facing them, sitting up in bed, was Guru Optimo himself.

“Hold your fire, Guru Optimo!” Max said. “We want to talk to you-about rejoining Control! Do you understand?”

Guru Optimo grinned. “Me Tarzan, You Jane!” he replied.

“Okay, Tarzan, here’s the deal,” Max said. “Lucky Bucky Buckley is taking advantage of your good nature. And we at Control feel that we had the idea to take advantage of your good nature first. Fair is fair. You can see that, you and your good nature, can’t you?”

Guru Optimo beamed. “Give it to me straight, doctor-will I always walk with a lisp?”

“Ahh. . I think that should be ‘limp,’ ” Max corrected.

“Tell him about all the advantages of working for Control, Max,” 99 said. “I think he’s interested.”

“Yes, well,” Max said, “there’s. . uh. . mmmm. .” He turned to 99. “What advantages, exactly, 99?”

“Working with happy people, for one thing.”

“Happy? More or less happy, maybe, 99. But, frankly, I’ve had some pretty sad days since I joined Control. I remember the day a few weeks ago when the Chief made me sit in a corner with a dunce cap on my head. That was not a very happy day.”

“But you deserved it, Max, giving an autographed copy of our secret code book to that KAOS agent.”

“But she said she was a fan of mine. And how was I supposed to know that KAOS was using little old ladies as agents?” He shook his head. “Give me another advantage.”

“Good pay.”

“Oh, sure. Control has to pay well. Because every time you make a teensy-weensy mistake and destroy some item of Government property, you have to pay for it out of your salary. If we weren’t paid well, we couldn’t afford to work for Control. Big advantage!”

“Short hours.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Max nodded. He faced back to Guru Optimo. “Our hours are only forty-five minutes long,” he said. “Of course, we have to be on duty twenty-four hours a day. But by saving fifteen minutes an hour, we have a total of three-hundred-and-sixty minutes left over at the end of the day that we can call our own. Whereas, at KAOS, the hours are sixty minutes long. And, at the end of the day, what do you have left?”

Guru Optimo giggled. “Mr. Hyde, I’d like you to meet my physician, Dr. Jekyll,” he replied.

“Aha! Here you are!” a voice roared from the doorway.

Lucky Bucky Buckley and the guards had returned.

“You’re too late, Lucky Bucky!” Max said. “I think Guru Optimo has just switched sides again.”

“Guru Baby, is that true?” Lucky Bucky said, aghast.

“Anyone for tennis?” Guru Optimo replied.

“If you’ll just wait till I get my net,” Max said.

“What did he promise you, Guru Baby?” Lucky Bucky asked. “I’ll double it, whatever it was.”

“I don’t think that will do you much good,” Max said. “I promised him a forty-five minute hour. Double it, and he’s going to find his Mondays running into his Saturdays.”

“A forty-five minute hour!” Lucky Bucky scoffed. “You think I can’t do better than that? Guru Baby, I’m talking show business! Stick with me and you’ll meet a lot of nice girls. That’s what show business is all about!”

Guru Optimo broke out in a grin that covered his entire face.

“99,” Max whispered, “I think we’ve been out-bid.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised, Max.”

“Zop’em!” Lucky Bucky shouted.

Max and 99 whipped around and dashed back into the secret passageway. A flash of light exploded behind them. They raced down the steps into the total darkness.

“After them!” they heard Lucky Bucky cry. “The guard that catches them gets a star on his dressing room door!”

Max and 99 reached the bottom of the steps.

“Now, to find where the wall opens,” Max said. “Ready, 99?”

“What do you want me to do, Max?”

“The same as last time. I’ll pretend I’m a tennis court and you-”

“Max! That won’t work!”

“You’re right, 99. I forgot. I left my net in the dungeon! We’ll just have to break our way through this wall the way we broke our way through that panel upstairs.”

There was a crunching sound as Max threw his weight against the wall.

“Max? Are you all right?”

“Well, I’m not in as good shape as the wall is, 99.”

Lucky Bucky’s voice was heard again. “They’re here someplace! Grab ’em!”

“We’ll have to fight our way out, 99!” Max said.

The guards and Lucky Bucky reached the foot of the steps. A battle began. Karate chops hacked through the darkness.

“I got one, 99!”

“That was me, Max.”

“Sorry about that, 99.”

Bodies dropped to the floor. Guards chopped guards. Guards chopped Max. Max chopped Lucky Bucky. Lucky Bucky chopped 99. 99 chopped Max. Max chopped the wall.

“Owwwwwww!”

“Max, there are too many of them!”

“Give me your hand, 99!”

“Here, Max!”

Max grabbed the hand and raced back up the stairs. He reached the opening to Guru Optimo’s room.

“We’re free, 99!” he said. “We can-”

He found that he was holding Lucky Bucky’s hand.

“Zop’im!” Lucky Bucky shouted to Guru Optimo.

Max ducked back into the secret passageway, dragging Lucky Bucky with him. He dropped Lucky Bucky with a karate chop, then dashed back down the steps.

“99-that wasn’t you! Where are you?”

“Here, Max!”

Max found a hand. Holding it firmly, he started back up the stairs-then stopped.

“99,” he said, “are you sure this is you? I’d feel a little silly if I dragged a guard up these steps.”

“I think it’s me, Max. Somebody has hold of my hand.”

“It might be a guard, 99.”

“How can we tell, Max?”

“Let’s see. . I know. Here’s something a guard wouldn’t know. What was the name of my drama teacher when I was in second grade?”

“Miss Himmelman?”

“That’s right, 99. It’s you! Come on!”

They scampered up the steps-and reached Guru Optimo’s room just as Lucky Bucky was recovering.

“Zop ’im!”

They turned and dashed back down the steps.

“Max! The guards are coming back up after us!”