A. Fair - Cats Prowl at Night

“ Did you,” Elsie asked as Bertha Cool started for the door, “call her a twerp?”

Bertha Cool jerked the door open, turned and said, “You’re goddamned right I called her a twerp,” and pounded her way indignantly down the corridor, managing to find a vacant taxi in front of the building.

“Rockaway Building,” she said as she hauled herself into the cab, “and make it snappy.”

Bertha Cool found a new secretary in the office of Everett G. Belder, a tall, thin woman somewhere in the forties, with a thin face, muddy complexion, a pointed chin, prominent high-bridged nose, and an austere manner. “Good morning.”

“Mr. Belder in?”

“Who is calling, please.” The words were articulated with conscious care, making the simple request seem long and formal.

“Bertha Cool.”

“Do you have a card, Miss Cool?”

“ Mrs. C ool,” Bertha said, raising her voice. “I want to see him about business. I don’t have an appointment, and I’ve been here before. Practice your elocution on someone else. And— Oh, the hell with that stuff. I’m going in.”

Bertha strode across the room, heedless of the protests which the tall, angular woman made with a frigid formality.

She jerked the door open.

Everett Belder was tilted back in his chair, his feet up on the desk, ankles crossed, an open newspaper held in front of his face.

“It’s all right, Miss Horrison,” he said. “Just put the letters on the desk. I’ll sign them later.”

He turned the page of the paper.

Bertha Cool slammed the door shut with a jar that shook the pictures on the wall.

Everett Belder lowered his newspaper in surprised irritation. “Good heavens! It’s Mrs. Cool! Why didn’t you let Miss Horrison announce you?”

“Because I’m in a hurry,” Bertha said, “and she took too goddamned long pronouncing her words. Get that newspaper out of the way, and tell me what in hell you mean by firing Imogene Dearborne.”

Belder slowly folded the newspaper, frowned at Bertha.

“She’s my employee. I believe I have the right to terminate the employment any time I wish, Mrs. Cool.”

Bertha said angrily, “Don’t be so damned formal. You must be trying to live up to that new secretary. I don’t care when you fire her, or how you fire her, just so you leave me out of it. But she’s sued me for a hundred thousand bucks, claiming that I defamed her character and you fired her on account of that.”

Belder sat forward in his chair, putting his feet down on the floor with a thud. “What do you say she did, Mrs. Cool?”

“Sued me for a hundred thousand.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Well, she did. Papers were served on me this morning.”

“Exactly what does she claim?”

“That I called her a twerp, said she was in love with you, and that she sent those letters. She claims you fired her on the strength of it.”

“Why, the damned little liar! She knows better than that.”

Bertha settled back comfortably in her chair. For the first time the tense lines about her eyes relaxed. “That,” she said, “is what I came over here to find out. Why did you fire her?”

“There wasn’t anything personal about it,” Belder said. “That is, in a way.”

Bertha said angrily, “Quit beating around the bush. Why did you fire her?”

“Well, for one reason, she was too good-looking. She carried herself in a provocative manner. It’s hard to explain. She was not only good-looking, but conscious of her good looks.”

“What’s that got to do with it?”

“Well, when you have a sister-in-law who is as observing as Carlotta Goldring, and a mother-in-law as suspicious as Theresa Goldring, it has a lot to do with it.”

“Did they tell you to fire her?”

“No, no. Now don’t misunderstand me, Mrs. Cool. They didn’t make any definite suggestions. Imogene was a very nice secretary. A very competent young woman, but she had certain habits, certain—”

Bertha leaned forward in her chair, her eyes boring into those of the sales engineer. “Of all the damned wishy-washy excuses,” she said. “Now, come on. Out with it. You’d been having an argument with her before Sergeant Sellers and I got here yesterday morning. She’d been crying. That’s when you told her she was fired, wasn’t it?”

“Well, no. Not exactly.”

Bertha said, “Now listen, I know you’d been having an argument. If you told her she was fired, or that you weren’t going to keep her, before I arrived on the scene, it would help a lot in showing that this suit is just a trumped-up piece of blackmail. Can’t you see? I’ve got to show that she didn’t get fired because of what I said.”

“I can assure you she didn’t, Mrs. Cool.”

Bertha Cool settled back in exasperation. “Oh, you can, can you? Well, isn’t that just perfectly lovely? Are you accustomed to firing secretaries without having any reason whatever?”

“But, Mrs. Cool, I did have a reason. I’m trying to explain.”

“And I’m trying to find out,” Bertha said, with elaborate sarcasm. “I’ve been listening and listening, and you’ve been talking and talking, and you still haven’t explained, and I still haven’t found out. I don’t know whether there’s anything we can do about it or not.”

“Well, Mrs. Cool, to be perfectly frank with you, there were several things which entered into it. I am hesitating somewhat because I can’t put my finger upon any one particular thing and say that that was the determining factor. However, the girl was a little too conscious of her good looks. That is, a person walking into an office and seeing her would immediately wonder— Oh, well, you know.”

Bertha said, “I don’t, and apparently you don’t.”

“And another thing,” Belder went on, “is that she was indiscreet.”

“In what way?”

“She gave out information she had no right to give out.”

“ Now we’re getting somewhere. What did she give out?”

“Well, of course, Mrs. Cool, I— Hang it, it’s nothing I care to talk about.”

“It’s something I care to talk about,” Bertha said, “and you’ve got me into this mess, so it’s up to you to do what you can to get me out. Now, what information did she give out?”

“She was indiscreet.”

Bertha’s face coloured. “You talk just like a merry-go-round. And every time we come around to the place where the record starts repeating, damned if I don’t grab the brass ring and have to ride all over again. Pardon me for seeming impatient. Just keep right on. She was indiscreet. Why was she indiscreet? She gave out information. What was the information? Well, you see, she was indiscreet. Why was she indiscreet? Well, she’s good-Looking. What’s indiscreet about being good-looking? Well, there was information she gave out. Who did she give out information to? Well, she looks provocative. Anyone coming in the office would think— Go right ahead. When you start running down, perhaps you’ll say something.”

“It was what she told my mother-in-law,” Belder blurted.

Bertha’s eyes snapped with interest.

“Now we are getting somewhere. What did she tell Mrs. Goldring?”

“That I was going to compromise that Nunnely judgment as soon as I could get hold of Mabel, and that I was moving heaven and earth to find her for that reason.”

“What was wrong with that?” Bertha asked.

“Everything.”

“I don’t get you.”

“In the first place, the minute Mrs. Goldring knew I was trying to compromise that judgment, she’d try throwing monkey wrenches in the machinery just on general principles. In the second place, I’d been telling her how much I loved Mabel and how much it would mean to me if she walked out on me. I thought that perhaps some of that would get back to Mabel and might help the situation some. Now, if Mrs. Goldring thinks that my interest was purely financial— Well, you can see the predicament I’m in.”