Lynda La Plante: Twisted

‘What, on a Sunday?’ Maria demanded loudly.

Lena flushed and explained that due to the success of Kiddy Winks she needed every spare moment to deal with the ever growing sales and orders for more stock. The by now rather drunk Sasha guided her to the front door, his sweating hand clasping her elbow and moving to her waist as his flushed face came too close.

‘Perhaps we could have dinner one evening,’ he suggested, leering. ‘You know Maria and I have a sort of open thing and I’d like to get to know you on a more personal level.’

She moved away from him, and reached to open the door herself, but he was persistent.

‘How are you fixed for next week? There’s a new restaurant opened in Chiswick. I think Maria saw Marcus there one night.’

She gave him an icy stare, refusing to even contemplate answering. He opened the front door wider as she edged past him without saying a word. As she walked down the short path and headed back to where she had parked, she was horribly aware that he was standing there watching her. It had been a really hideous evening and one she would not consider repeating. She had been separated from Marcus for two years, yet tonight for some reason it felt as if it had only just happened. She had refused many other invitations to parties and dinners, but badgered by Maria she felt forced to attend this one, even though she knew full well the Berkoffs were really Marcus’s friends, as were most of the people seated round the dinner table.

It took a while for her to ease the car out of the parking space, moving backwards and forwards and becoming even more agitated as the hotel car park was by now full for a big function. Why had she agreed to go? She’d known what it was going to be like. By the time she had succeeded in manoeuvring out of the tight space she had answered herself. She had wanted to prove that she could do it. She also wanted to tell everyone about how successful Kiddy Winks was becoming. This latest business venture had been a major part in getting her life back in order, and then deciding that if she could make the business work then she could also do something about herself. The marriage had been very strained for some time before the separation, and she had allowed herself to overeat and had spent days in an old tracksuit. She had not bothered with hair or makeup, her skin had erupted in patches, and the depression that had dominated her life was only relieved by her determination to make a success of Kiddy Winks. But now she’d lost the extra weight and was back to size twelve.

It had been a strange relief when Marcus had suggested they first separate or take ‘time out’, as was his crass way of putting it. Marcus had moved out; his design company was already in financial trouble, and shortly before his decision to leave he had wondered whether he should continue keeping it afloat. Lena had been impatient; this was not the first business venture that had failed. Over the seventeen years they had been married, she had constantly diverted money from her accounts to his in the hope that he would, as he had always promised, repay her with interest. This last time she had refused, and after taking advice from her accountant she had confronted her husband with worrying discrepancies in their joint bank account. Marcus had withdrawn thirty-five thousand pounds, leaving no money to pay for the mortgage on their substantial house in Richmond, the household staff or the utilities. Lena had to arrange to pay from her private account or they would have been taken to court.

Lena cancelled the joint account and Marcus had given her one of his childish shrugs, saying that she should consider what it meant. She could hardly believe that he was insinuating that it virtually signalled their marriage was over. In reality it was the start of their already strained relationship reaching breaking point, so by the time he had suggested they have a trial separation, his ‘time out’, she knew the marriage was heading for permanent closure. She had loved him, and they had been an enviable couple to their mutual friends, who were breaking up or divorcing throughout their seventeen years together. What few of even their close friends knew, as had been obvious that evening, was that Lena had always been the main breadwinner. She had never so much as hinted at it, she had cared that much for Marcus. He had tried numerous career moves, and with every new venture she had been supportive and encouraging. The fact they all turned into failures, and lost money – her hard-earned cash – never really bothered her as she had always felt badly for him. He appeared on the surface to take a positive attitude, refusing to feel sorry for himself, and always determined that the next idea he dreamed up would be successful. She knew deep down he was crestfallen and disappointed, and that he refused to show how much it affected him, for her benefit. So she had thought it churlish to complain.

It wasn’t hard to pinpoint when exactly the change in her attitude towards him began to take seed. Prior to the separation she had embarked on opening new companies and he had been dismissive, suggesting that surely she had enough to keep her occupied. His attitude had only made her more determined and her animal-print cushions and handcrafted nursery furniture companies became a success and, like her new venture, Kiddy Winks, were all doing very well, taking orders from John Lewis, Harrods and Harvey Nicks. Dealing with the orders and travelling to the various factories and small producers had meant that her schedule was fully packed. Choosing the fabrics and designs alone was time-consuming, and she had by now fifteen women sewing and making the cushions. She was not exactly working twenty-four seven, but close. The past two years had been made easier because their daughter Amy had started at a weekly boarding school in Berkshire. Lena or Marcus would collect her from the school mid-morning on the Saturday, so she would be home for the weekend and returned before seven o’clock on the Sunday evening.

Lena did try not to work on the Sunday, but often Amy had friends to see and parties to attend, so she was not as dependent on being amused, especially now that she was fifteen and increasingly self-sufficient. Lena used the time to check over her accounts and sales orders. She had even stopped making the obligatory Sunday roast – it had always been just the three of them around the kitchen table, but since Marcus had left, and with Amy having alternative arrangements, she would mostly have a BLT and a cup of coffee. There had been a minor emotional upheaval when they had told Amy about the so-called trial separation. She had cried for a few days but calmed down after both assured her that they were still to be friends and she could, if she wished, spend alternate weekends with her father in Mayfair.

When divorce was eventually discussed, Amy had grown used to her parents being apart. She had begun to quite enjoy the freedom of choosing whether or not she spent the weekend with her mother or her father. There had also been numerous times when Amy had actually stayed with a friend so had not been at home with either parent.

The house in Richmond for just herself and Amy was large, and did require a lot of maintenance, but as Lena had paid for the mortgage from the moment they had bought it shortly after they were married, it had never occurred to her that she would be forced to sell. She had also furnished it, and it was very much her style throughout. Marcus had never taken much interest in decorating, or for that matter, what furniture Lena collected, and since they separated she was happy to remain living there; she even redecorated the kitchen and the master bedroom. Amy had kept her bedroom as it was, and she had rarely if ever brought up the fact that her father was absent. He obviously was, but then if Amy were not at his rented flat, but at home with her mother, he would call, so he was a constant and regular part of her life.