Jessie Keane - Lawless

‘He was with me , Vi.’

‘Weren’t you the lucky one,’ she snapped. Her eyes, still beautiful, emerald green, flashed into Ruby’s. ‘He was absolutely bloody devoted to you, of course.’

‘I thought so,’ said Ruby. She leaned over and snatched the record sleeve back off Vi.

‘It started out as a bit of fun, Ruby,’ said Vi almost pleadingly, spreading her hands as if in supplication. ‘I wish I could tell you that he chased me. That would salve my conscience quite a lot. But the truth? The truth is I pursued him. I had to know: could I get him? I could usually get any man I wanted, but could I get him when he already had you?’

‘You bitch,’ muttered Ruby.

‘You know I’m a bitch. You’ve always known it.’ Vi swallowed and then went on more calmly: ‘But the game soon got serious. I wanted him. I fell in love with him. Michael wasn’t a toy like my usual boys. You’ve seen them: pretty little things, thick as pigshit. But Michael was a man , a real man, he was dangerous and alluring. I wanted him so much. Showered him with gifts – like that.’ She nodded at the record sleeve.

‘Go on,’ said Ruby numbly.

Vi gave an awkward laugh. ‘I suppose you think it’s all a bit sordid, don’t you? I gave him bigger things too. Expensive things.’

‘The Krugerrand ring, inscribed I’m Still in Love with You. That was you too?’

‘Oh, you saw that?’

‘He had it with him on the day he died.’

Vi’s mouth twisted. ‘I’d given it to him a couple of days earlier. And no doubt he would have returned that, too, if he’d had the time. I wonder why he didn’t return the record? Not that it matters, not any more. Because his time ran out, didn’t it.’

Ruby said nothing.

‘He wouldn’t cave in. He sent so many of my gifts back. Rejected them, and me. I became desperate. What can I tell you? I’m a bored, rich woman with too much time on my hands and I started to pursue him like my life depended on it. Then I followed him one night when he was getting into his car. I was wearing a fur coat, nothing underneath it. I was desperate , Ruby. That writing on the record sleeve? That inscription on the ring? It was the absolute truth. I was still in love with him. And… I wanted to prove I could have him.’

Ruby’s face looked as if it had turned to stone.

‘And did you?’ she asked.

Vi nodded, biting her lip, eyes downcast. ‘Just that once. One night! And the minute it was over, he said, Enough. Never again. Keep out of my way .’

Ruby was listening, taking it all in. Michael had betrayed her. Thomas had been telling her the truth. Someone had seen Vi, in the priceless blue mink Anthony had given her for their first wedding anniversary, follow Michael to his car.

Just once and under extreme provocation , she thought.

But once was enough. Once was still a betrayal. And with her friend, of all people.

‘You know me, Rubes.’ Now Vi was smiling again, but the smile was sad and tired. ‘Never could follow the rules, could I? Having had a taste, I wanted more. I kept running after him, he kept pushing me away. He really loved you, Rubes. Really and truly. He didn’t want me. He never did. And that’s why he died, in the end. Poor Michael.’

Ruby was very still, watching her friend – her friend ! – as she talked about Michael’s death.

‘Oh, Rubes, please don’t look at me like that. I adored him. I loved him so much ,’ Vi moaned.

Ruby was startled to see that Vi’s eyes were full of tears.

‘And I wanted to know I could still do it, Rubes, do you see? That I still had it, like I had it back at the Windmill all those years ago, that I could call any man to my side with nothing more than a glance…’

Ruby felt faintly sick, sitting here looking at Vi now. A woman who had everything in the world, and still wanted that little bit more. Even her friend’s man. Just to prove that she could.

Ruby took a breath. It was cold in here, but she felt hot, almost dizzy with the shock of what Vi was telling her. All the way here she had been hoping, praying, that she’d got it wrong, that she was mistaken. But now she knew she hadn’t, and it killed her. Vi was her best friend in all the world. And she had betrayed her.

‘Was it you that killed him?’ she asked in a breathless whisper. This was crazy, disgusting, and the worst part of all was Michael’s death. Over this.

Vi’s mouth dropped open. ‘ Me? ’ she almost laughed, but there were tears making tracks down her cheeks now, real tears of grief and remorse. ‘God, no. No! How can you think that?’

‘Violet?’ It was a man’s voice, quavering, uncertain.

They both turned towards the door; they’d been so deep in conversation that they hadn’t heard it open. Now Anthony stood there and as they watched he shuffled into the room and came over to where the two women were sitting.

The last time Ruby had seen him was in the autumn of the previous year when she and Michael had been here for a shooting party that ended in tragedy. In that short space of time, Anthony seemed to have aged even more. His white hair was too long, and stuck out in cowlicks. His face was a network of wrinkles, dried up as an old riverbed. His eyes were anxious. He was wearing an old food-stained waistcoat, red cord trousers, carpet slippers. He was leaning on a stick.

Vi stood up, quickly wiping away her tears as he approached, his eyes first on her and then on Ruby.

‘Darling, what is it?’ he asked, his eyes going back to his wife. ‘You look upset.’

Vi forced a smile. ‘It’s nothing. Just reminiscing. Sad old days, all that.’

Anthony nodded and his eyes went back to Ruby. Now they held some of their old asperity. ‘Can’t have my girl upset, you know,’ he told her.

Ruby felt the words clang around her brain like a bell. Somehow, she managed to summon a smile for him. ‘No. Of course not,’ she said.

Now he was slipping a trembling arm around Vi. Ruby saw the flinch away, saw this little tableau being acted out in front of her; ancient, mouldering Anthony, still protective of his wife – and Vi, repulsed by his touch, still feeling herself young, trying to prove that she could be the eternal Windmill Girl.

‘So long as we all understand that,’ he said, and there was an expression in his eyes that chilled Ruby to the marrow.

She swallowed. ‘We do,’ she said. ‘Of course we do.’

‘Good.’ Anthony lunged in, kissed his wife’s face.

Doesn’t he see how she strains away from him? wondered Ruby.

Probably he did. And he ignored it.

He gave Ruby a curt nod, then walked to the door, opened it, and was gone.

The instant Anthony was out of the room, Vi wiped her cheek where he had kissed her. Her eyes were fixed to the floor.

‘Were you very upset when Michael rejected you?’ asked Ruby into the stone-hard silence of the room.

Vi cast a despairing glance at Ruby’s face. She almost collapsed back into her chair, then buried her face in her hands. ‘Rubes…’ she muttered. ‘I’m so sorry, I never wanted this…’

‘ Were you? ’ hissed Ruby, cutting across Vi’s words.

‘I never wanted you to know, I wanted you to let it go. A gang thing – couldn’t you have just accepted that it was a gang thing, left it at that?’

Ruby surged to her feet and stood over Vi. She shrank back. Ruby looked mad enough to hit her.

‘ Were you? ’ she demanded.

Vi’s eyes were full of fear. Then she nodded. ‘Yes, I was upset. I was devastated . One night wasn’t enough. Not with him. But he was having none of it. He loved you , Ruby, not me, never me.’