Nelson Algren - The New Black Mask Quarterly (№ 1)

“You see what I mean, Panda?” Judge Neelon said pleadingly. “The last guy who gets up at those things is the only one who’s right — none of the other speakers is a friend of the departed, someone who just knew him and enjoyed his company. No one that just liked him, unless he’s another lawyer, ever gets a chance to speak. And we thought, since you did know Drew, and really did like him, maybe you would say a few words and do everyone a favor.”

Panda looked up and he shook his head once more. “I couldn’t do it, Your Honor,” he said, and cracked his voice. “I would not know what to say. I’m not used to making speeches, standing up in public like that.”

“Panda,” Neelon said, “it could be very short. You could say... that case you had, the one that impressed you so much, you never forgot it? You could talk about that case, how Drew showed so much class. Look, you know Drew Boyster’s history. You went back a ways with him. His family, they’re not, you know, extremely happy with him, even now that he is dead. His kids, from everything I hear, they sided with the wife. You’d really help us out a lot if you saw your way clear to do it. Good Lord, Panda, all these years, you have drummed it into us. Just tell everybody once more, what a great guy Drew was.”

“Your Honor,” Panda said, coughing deeply as he started, “I have got to tell you — I can’t talk about that case.”

“Of course you can,” Judge Neelon said. “It’s on the public record. If it’s the details that escape you, we can pull the files. We’ll take care of that for you. That part will be easy.”

“Judge,” Panda said, “it wasn’t that. It was not a case in court. Well, there was a case in court, that Judge Boyster was involved in. But the case I talked about... I can’t talk about that.”

“I don’t follow you,” the Judge said. He was starting to look grim.

“It was Chivas Regal,” Panda said with difficulty. “A case of Chivas Regal, all right? That was what I meant.”

“Scotch whiskey?” Neelon said. “A case of booze, you mean?”

Panda nodded. “Uh-huh,” he said. “That was what it was.”

“And this was back when Drew, when Drew was a lawyer?”

Panda nodded once again. “Yeah. Before he was a judge.”

“Panda,” Neelon said severely, “this is serious. Drew is dead now. It can’t hurt him, not where he is now. But you’re still escorting juries, and you still have access to them. If you influenced some verdict, back when Drew was practicing, and he gave you a case of scotch... well, I don’t have to tell you just how serious this is. What was it you did for Drew? Tamper with a jury, or do something dumb like that?”

Panda looked indignant. “Judge,” he said, “I resent that. In all the years I’ve been here, I have never told a jury how they should vote in a case.”

“Uh-huh,” Neelon said, “well, you are the first one, then. But you’ve raised the suspicion now, and I am forced to deal with that. If you don’t tell me the truth, and tell me the truth right now, I’ll have to investigate and see what you did for Drew. And until I am satisfied, you will be suspended. Without pay, I might add, until this is all cleared up. Now which will it be, Panda? This is your decision now. You can tell me what went on, or you can leave this building right now and wait to hear from the D.A.”

Panda looked more sorrowful than he had looked before. He had to clear his throat again. “This won’t go any further?”

“It won’t if there is nothing wrong,” Judge Neelon said grimly. “If I think there is something wrong, it will go further, Panda. No promises apart from that. You understand me, Panda? And I will be the judge of whether you will be reported.”

Panda sighed heavily. “All right,” he said, “you got me. But there is nothing wrong with this, with what I did for Drew.” Judge Neelon did not comment on that.

“Over twenny years ago, I got hurt in the ring.”

“I know that,” Neelon said. “Get on with you and Drew.”

“I’m coming to that,” Panda said. “Just give me a minute, will you? The doctors told me: ‘Panda,’ they said, ‘this is it for grappling. You get hit like that again, you’ll go out in a wheelchair. You are still a young man and your heart is pretty strong. You get crippled up for life, it is going to be a long one and you will have trouble working.’

“That scared the hell right out of me,” Panda told Judge Neelon. “In wrestling there’s no insurance. I did not have money. I was always undercard, a couple hundred bucks. And I didn’t have any trade, you know. Something I could do. But I am scared, so what I do, I take what comes along. I get into security. I become a guard.

“The first job that I had,” he said, “was in the Coast Apartments. This was before it was condo. This was 1963. And since I am new and all, I am put on nights. So I do not see who goes out — I just see who goes in.

“Now, Judge,” he said, “I don’t know just how I should put this to you. Because I don’t want to shock you, or do anything like that. But lots of the big law firms then, had pads in those tall buildings. And on the tour they had me on, I’d see those guys come in. See them come in with their girlfriends? Between six and nine at night. And they would not go out again, ’fore I was through at one.”

“Panda,” Neelon said, “Spare me. You mean: ‘With their nieces, they came in.’ Learned counsel for rich law firms do not get so vulgar as to entertain mere girlfriends in deductible apartments.”

“My mistake, Your Honor,” Panda said. “Excuse me. On the tour they had me on, I often saw the lawyers come in with their nieces right behind them. Now, this took me a while, before I got this figured out. I was fairly innocent, when I stopped wrestling. And when I first started in there, I did not know much. So one night, this big honcho lawyer comes in with his briefcase, and it is six o’clock or so and I am pretty stupid. And also with him, right behind him, there is this young lady. A very fine looking young lady, I might add. And she has got her handbag, but that’s all she’s carrying. So I assume they’re visiting someone — they do not live in the building, or else they would tell me. So I ask him: ‘Which apartment?’ Like I was supposed to do. Coast did not want people coming in there without they had destinations, and the people they were seeing wanted to see them.

“He gets all mad at me, the guy does,” Panda said to Neelon. “He tells me he belongs to this firm which keeps an apartment there. Their clients in from out of town stay overnight in it. And sometimes in the evening, if they have a lot of work, they come in with their secretaries and they work late hours themselves. And that is what he’s doing, and she is his secretary. Gleason, Boyster and Muldoon. That is all you need to know.’ And they go on upstairs.

“Well, Your Honor, nothing happened. That I got in trouble for. This guy and his secretary, they go up to work late hours and I don’t know who they are, except they work for a law firm that he says he belongs to. He don’t say that he is Gleason and he don’t claim he is Muldoon. I do not know he is Boyster and the lady had no name. All I knew her by was her looks, and like I told you, those were fine. She also had a nice smile and she always gave it to me.

“I say ‘always,’ Judge,” he said, “and when I say that, I mean this: ‘Wednesday nights she smiled at me.’ Every Wednesday night. The first night was a Wednesday and then they come back, the next one. And I naturally remember them and I don’t ask no questions. And then the Wednesday after that, and the one after that, until I see this is a habit, they got going here. This guy apparently can’t get his work done, any Wednesday that you name. Tuesdays he’s apparently all right, when they blow the quitting whistle. Thursdays he does not show up. I had Fridays off in those days, Fridays and Saturdays. He don’t come in any Sunday. He does not show up on Monday. And by now I’ve gotten so I know a lot of guys that have problems just like his, except their big nights are different, and their secretaries change, or else they have got whole flocks of nieces like you would not have imagined. So I am wising up a little, and I’m keeping my mouth shut. And also I am putting my name in around the city, because I am getting older and those late hours are killing me.