Рон Гуларт - Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 39, No. 13, Mid-December 1994

“No, but that’s what she always did when Loretta wasn’t home. That’s why we knew it would be cool at her place.”

That was all I needed to hear. I turned and raced for the car. I yelled back over my shoulder, “Eddie, call the sheriff, ask for Randy Vaughn. Tell him Patsy said to get out to Hank Starr’s, and bring some deputies with him.” Eddie seemed hesitant. “Do it, Eddie!”

He had turned and was going inside when I drove off. I had to hurry. My car, an older Cavalier, wasn’t used to fast speeds. I drove defensively, prided myself on that; now I hurtled out of town like a maniac.

When I hit the dirt road to Hank’s place, I had to stand on the brakes to keep from plowing into the rear of Tammara’s VW. Tammara was leaning against the side, smoking a cigarette. She looked scared.

“Oh man, I’m really glad you’re here. Loretta told me to wait here and, if she wasn’t back in a half hour, call you.” She twisted her watch around on her wrist and stared at it. “It’s been twenty-seven minutes.”

Loretta had been a very foolish girl. “Tammara, here’s what you do, honey. Get yourself up the road to the Quick Stop and use their phone to call 911. Tell them to get ahold of Randy, and give him directions here. Tell him to hurry.” I wanted to cover myself in case Eddie hadn’t called.

Then I took off running for Hank’s place. I didn’t want him to hear me coming and do anything foolish. It was quite dark now; the light in Hank’s boathouse was the only thing to guide me. I crept past the house, headed for the dock.

The sound of voices carried up from the water. Hank’s was a low monotone, Loretta’s an angry tornado. “You can’t get away with this,” she yelled. “They’ll know it was you.” I slipped silently up to the boathouse. Hank was unhitching the bow lines and preparing to cast off. Loretta lay on the floor of the boat, her arms and legs bound with rope.

“Loretta,” Hank said as he moved to untie the stem lines, “This carryin’ on won’t do you no good. Cain’t nobody hear you. I wouldn’t be havin’ to do this if you’d been doin’ what yore mama told you to do last night.” Hank moved to the driver’s seat and inserted the key in the ignition. He was fixin’ to pull out of the boathouse and take Loretta. I couldn’t let that happen.

“My daddy’ll come after you, Hank,” Loretta screamed. “They’ll fry your ass if you kill me. I’m a minor.” Oh nice goin’, Loretta, I thought.

Hank stayed cool. “No they won’t, Loretta. When you don’t show up, they’ll figure you lured your mama down to your daddy’s shop and killed her. They’ll think you wanted to frame your daddy so’s you could get the insurance money. Just like them brothers out in California done. Kids are runnin’ wild these days.”

Loretta’s response was lost as Hank cranked the engine. It was now or never. I made my move. I took a flying leap from the dock and hit the bow of the boat just as it moved out of the slip into the open channel.

Loretta’s eyes widened, and Hank looked as if he couldn’t believe it was me. When he came for me, I tried to be ready. All those classes at Mr. Chu’s Tae Kwan Do studio were going to come in handy, I thought. Where were the police?

“Hank Starr, you take this boat back to shore!” I screamed. “I’m placing you under a citizen’s arrest!” His beefy hands wrapped around my throat like a vise. This was not like any practice I’d ever done at Mr. Chu’s. Spots danced before my eyes and as it grew impossible to breathe, I saw Freddy’s face. He was lookin’ real sad, and I started feelin’ sad. We were never gonna get married. Then I started getting mad. Hell fire, it was always something.

Mr. Chu’s face floated up then. What was he saying? Oh, yeah, I could hear his voice. “Find your rage,” he said. “Break his hold. Hit him where it hurts. Predators look for the weak.”

I had found my rage. No Hank Starr was gonna keep me from the altar. I summoned up one last burst of energy and threw my arms up through Hank’s. I brought my knee up and rammed it into his groin. I had lost control and was going to kill him. I shattered his kneecap with a swift kick and would have crushed his windpipe had not Randy arrived.

Apparently he’d been screaming at me from the shore, but I hadn’t heard. As the boat had drifted back toward the dock, Randy had leapt on board.

He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Patsy, stop. It’s Randy. Stop, you’re okay now.” I was shaking with the adrenaline and fear. “It’s okay now, honey,” he said, pulling me closer to him.

The dock was overrun with deputies. Raydeen was bustling around, issuing orders. Randy told me later that both Eddie and Tammara had called 911, leaving desperate messages. Randy had arrived with all the backup available in Wallace County.

Hank told everything once he was faced with the reality of his arrest. He and Eaudelein had been at the bait shop around three A.M. Hank was preparing to go fishing and needed to pick up some bait. He and Eaudelein had been out drinking all night, celebrating because Eaudelein had agreed to marry Hank. While Hank was scooping out minnows, Eaudelein started going on about how, when they were married, she’d have control over the Bait Shop. She was crowing about how she’d make Freddy’s life miserable. Hank realized that Eaudelein never really loved him; she’d merely wanted to use him to torture her ex-husband.

Hank, about to lose the one love of his life, lost control. He grabbed the baseball bat and beat Eaudelein to death. He was getting ready to take her out to the middle of the lake and dump her when some fishermen pulled up to the shop.

They saw Hank’s pickup, figured someone was there, and began knocking on the door. Hank panicked and dumped Eaudelein in the tank. Then he gave the men bait and sent them on their way. Even though the men weren’t locals, Randy figured they’d be easy enough to track down, if need be.

“The way things look now,” Randy said, “Hank’s gonna plead guilty. Says he was temporarily insane.”

“Hell,” said Freddy as Randy returned his personal belongings and signed the release papers, “I guess that explains my whole marriage to Eaudelein. Too bad I couldn’t plead that during the divorce.”

Freddy stuck close by me the whole ride home. “Babe, you sure he didn’t hurt you?”

“Freddy, I’m fine,” I insisted. If the truth be known, I was enjoying myself.

“Babe, I just don’t know how I can ever repay you,” he said for the umpteenth time.

“Aw, Freddy,” I said, patting his knee, “we’ll think of something.” I was thinking a June weddin’ would be nice. We’d hitch a knot in the tail of matrimony yet.

If the truth were known, the whole business actually got started with a nap. An untimely nap, maybe. But a nap, nonetheless. Which isn’t exactly what you’d call an auspicious beginning, considering that the outcome was the biggest, not to mention the strangest, drug bust in all of Miller County history.

It’s just that Sheriff Duncan was really tired, and really sleepy. And the midafternoon sun coming through the windshield had warmed the car up so nicely that, with speeders out on Highway 17 being so rare anyway, well, it was only natural for him to conclude that his daily afternoon patrol out past Harvester’s Maw would be a perfect opportunity to catch up on some of the sleep he’d lost on account of his weekly game of dominoes with Miss Petula running so late the night before. After all, who knew?

Who knew that dusty old pickup full of out-of-towners would come racing down the highway at twenty miles an hour over the posted speed limit? Who knew they’d come roaring right past the very spot where the sheriff had chosen to pull off the road and park that shiny new squad car the mayor had bought to help fight the rising tide of crime in America, just like he’d promised to do during the last campaign?