Рита Браун - The Tail Of The Tip-Off

Neither Fred nor Mychelle lived in Crozet. They were arguing, Fred wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and as Tazio, shaking snow from her boots, stepped into the post office, Fred looked up, his mouth hanging open. He shut it like a bird clamping down on a beetle.

"Hello," Harry, Miranda, and Susan called out.

"Hello," Tazio replied.

Mychelle and Fred merely nodded.

"How are you feeling today?" Mrs. Murphy asked Brinkley.

Tucker came around from behind the divider. Harry had installed a doggie door for her because she grew weary of opening and closing the half-door under the flip-up part of the divider. A lot of times she just left that half-door open but every time she closed it, Tucker would claw at it.

"Much better. Tazio fed me a delicious meal, beef bits over kibble which she stirred all together. I think she stuck a vitamin pill in there but I don't care. I'll take vitamins if it makes her happy."

"She must have given you a bath, too. Your coat looks clean. You know, you'll get some luster once you gain weight." Tucker liked the Lab.

"I feel like a new dog." Brinkley smiled.

"What's going on with Fred and Mychelle?" Pewter inquired.

"Tazio walked out of the bank and Fred was in the parking lot. He said he'd been calling her about the Lindsay house. He's rude. Said he'd read the blueprints for her sports complex design. Design is not his bailiwick but she'd made errors and the construction company would have a hard time building her monstrosity. He used that word. Mychelle nods whenever he speaks. She must be in love with him or something. She agrees with everything he says."

"In love with Fred? Ugly." Pewter wrinkled her nose.

As the three humans began to leave, Tazio winked at Harry.

Mrs. Murphy called out, "Get Taz to bring you to our farm. We'll give you the tour."

"I'll try." A happy Brinkley wagged his tail and followed Tazio out the door.

"If a fart has human form it's Fred." Harry burst out laughing.

"Harry, that is so crude. Your mother would be horrified if she could hear you speak like that." Miranda shook her head although she did agree with the assessment.

"You'd be cleaning the kitchen floor with boiling water as penance." Susan laughed, remembering Harry's mother. "But he is just awful. Awful!"

"Isn't it something, though, that Tazio got the job, her design was selected and here she is, her office is in Crozet. We all ought to be proud," Miranda said.

"It's a beautiful design, sweeping glass with beautiful curves. Hey, you know what I've always wanted to do?"

The other two women looked at Harry. "What?"

"Put a deep-sea diver on top of the Clam."

"That would be funny," Susan said. "You'd need a crane to get it up there."

"No. They clean that roof. There has to be a way to get on top from the inside." Harry's mind raced forward.

"Sure and you'd slide all the way off." Susan knew that in Harry's mind she was carrying the deep-sea outfit on her back, going through a trapdoor onto the roof.

"Would not."

"Would, too," Susan sassed in good humor.

"You two."

A frazzled Deputy Cynthia Cooper opened the back door, closing it behind her. "What is wrong with everyone this Monday?"

"We're fine," Harry responded.

"That's why I'm here. To escape for fifteen minutes. Oh, orange-glazed cinnamon buns, where are they?" Disappointment shone on her face.

Miranda baked the most delicious cinnamon buns, drenching them with a thick orange glaze icing.

"Now that you mention it," Miranda checked her watch, tossed on her coat, "they're just about ready."

"Yahoo!" Susan clapped her hands together like a child.

"Need help?" Tucker volunteered.

"I'll be right back." Miranda slipped out the door.

"What's going on?" Harry asked the officer.

"Aunt Tally's missing a cow. She was convinced someone stole it. In a snowstorm? Okay, dealt with that. The cow broke through the fence line and was at the next farm. Then a waterpipe burst on Hydraulic Road in front of the Kmart. Naturally the water froze all over the road, which had been slush. We had to redirect traffic at rush hour. That was a lot of fun. It's raw out there today. What a mess. And then some kid sideswipes BoomBoom at the stop sign at Routes 240 and 250. She came to a stop, a full stop, which you have to do even though it's a pain. And this kid gets impatient and pulls alongside her on the right, loses control since the road is slick, and slides all along the right side of her car."

"That's such a pretty car," Susan commiserated.

Miranda reappeared. "Voilà!"

"Miranda, you're a lifesaver." Cooper plucked one off the tray the second Miranda set it on the table.

An Explorer pulled up outside the post office. Two young blonde women disembarked. The driver opened the back door and out popped a medium-sized, reddish, mixed-breed dog, her tail twirling like a windmill. Right behind her, trying to be more dignified, was another dog, wheat-colored, larger.

"Minnesota plates." Miranda noticed. "Why, those girls will feel right at home."

Harry and Cooper laughed as the door opened and the humans and dogs stepped into the cozy post office.

"Strange dogs," Pewter announced as Tucker's ears perked right up and she scratched open the divider door between the working area and the post box area.

"All dogs are strange," Mrs. Murphy teased as she looked down from the counter as the dogs all touched noses.

"Ignore her. She's grand and airy," Tucker advised the two friendly visitors.

"Excuse me?" Gina Marie, the red-colored Lab/terrier mix cocked her head, questioning.

Casey Jo, the younger of the two visiting dogs, wagged her tail, her body and then lifted her paw for emphasis but she didn't say anything.

"Yankee dogs." Mrs. Murphy glared down at them in mock anger.

"Is that like a cookie? Yankee?" Casey Jo vaguely remembered little cellophane-wrapped doodles called, obviously enough, Yankee Doodles.

Tucker, ignoring Madame Supremacy on the counter, said, "Well, no, it's not a cookie but never you mind. Grand and airy means stuck up. It's a Southern expression and I can tell by your accents that you aren't Southern."

"No. But I thought the South was hot," Gina Marie said.

"Not in the winter. And we're right at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains so it gets right cold here."

"Bet you don't have cats that work in your post office?" Mrs. Murphy, Pewter now beside her, looked down.

"No." Casey Jo, a happy soul, thought the cats amusing.

"Any dogs working there?" Tucker inquired.

"No. St. Paul, where we live is, well, dogs and cats wouldn't be allowed to work in an office or place like this. People pay a lot of attention to rules there and I'm sure it's against the rules or our humans would take us to work." Gina Marie thought the rules were dreadful.

"See, that's what's so great about Virginia." Tucker smiled broadly, revealing her white teeth. "Everyone pretends to obey the rules and then they do what they want. It's all very civilized, of course."

"Well, how can it be civilized if people are breaking the rules?" Casey Jo innocently asked.

"Oh dear, they really are Yankees," Pewter whispered to Mrs. Murphy, nodding in agreement.

Tucker realized this would become a discussion not just of hours but days and weeks, so she prudently changed the subject. "It's very nice that your humans brought you along."

"Our humans take us everywhere they can and they are lots of fun. They play ball with us and swim with us and ski with us. They can't keep up with us so we have to slow down, of course, but they don't sit in chairs while we play. They participate."

"Does your human play with you?" Casey Jo believed humans would be so much happier if they could chase balls all day and chew bones.