Блейз Клемент - The Cat Sitter And The Canary

I said, “Hold on. Who are we talking about?”

“Caroline Greaver! Who else? No wonder that detective acted so damn weird. The woman could barely look me in the eye.”

I said, “Wait…” But she continued, getting more and more agitated.

“Listen, whatever you’ve been told about me, it’s complete baloney. I mean, yes, it’s no secret Caroline and I are not exactly the best of friends, but this is low even for her. And you can be damn sure of one thing: if I ever got myself involved in a murder, Caroline Greaver would not be around to talk about it after!”

I said, “Oh, no. Ms. Kramer, there’s been a misunderstanding. I wasn’t talking about the murder. And Caroline hasn’t said a thing about you as far as I know.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Then what did you mean by all that stuff about me being involved, and your strict code of ethics?”

I said, “Wow. I feel like an idiot. When you said the ‘elephant’ in the room, I thought you meant…” I took a deep breath and sighed. “Ms. Kramer, I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t think it mattered, and also I didn’t want to embarrass you, but … long before I became a pet sitter, I was a sheriff’s deputy.”

She shook her head impatiently. “So…?”

“So, I was the officer that was called to the scene that day…”

“What scene?”

“Um … the scene when you were caught with Senator Cobb … on his yacht.”

Her eyes widened. “That was you ?”

I nodded.

Her jaw opened slightly and then she threw her head back and burst into laughter.

I stammered. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to embarrass you.”

She fell back down on the couch and held both hands up in the air. “Thank you! Finally something interesting in this godforsaken town! Honey, the elephant in the room I was talking about was that horrible business next door, not Morton Cobb!” She reached for a cocktail napkin from the tray and unfolded it. “I’ve always wondered what happened to you. Morton swore up and down he’d have you fired for not confiscating those tourists’ cameras, and now … Oh gosh, I suppose that’s what happened isn’t it? Is that why you’re no longer a deputy?”

I sat back down on the couch. “No. Although he did threaten me that day, that’s for sure. But I quit the force years ago … for personal reasons. It was totally unrelated.”

She sighed, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes with the corner of a napkin. “That man is completely insane, you know. He’s still snooping around trying to get back at me somehow. He had it in his head he’d be president one day. Can you believe that? I guess the world has you to thank for putting a stop to that. It’s funny, when Raji first mentioned your name, I did think it sounded vaguely familiar. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.”

I said, “Well, I’ve always felt bad, but there really was nothing I could do. Those tourists hadn’t done anything illegal.”

“Oh, please. We were lucky you didn’t arrest us both for public indecency. And, anyway, the whole episode gave me an excuse to leave him. And my God! How bizarre that you’re here now, especially with everything that’s happened next door!”

I sat up, remembering the crime cleanup crew. “You know, I should probably meet your bird before it gets too late. I’m hoping I can bring Caroline’s pets back home, maybe even tonight. I think the police might be finishing up their investigation. And also, your assistant mentioned something about a nondisclosure agreement?”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, good grief. That’s Albert’s doing. He always expects the worst in everyone, but I could care less. And, anyway, my life is an open book. Always has been. He’ll probably ask you to sign one, though. I hope that’s not a problem.”

I shook my head. “Of course not.”

“Good.” She glanced at her watch. “Let’s go over to the pool house.”

I took my backpack and followed her through the living room out to the pool, which was a deep indigo blue in the failing light. On the far side were three red umbrellas hovering over a line of white lounge chairs, each perfectly parallel to one another, and beyond that was a low-slung building, almost like a tiki hut or a cabana but bigger and fancier, with three sets of folding glass doors and matching red curtains held open with white cords. I couldn’t see it, but somewhere nearby a fountain was gurgling.

“Oh, wow,” I said. “This is beautiful.”

Ms. Kramer winked. “I know. Having a rich husband does have its perks.”

I grinned. “Ha. I wouldn’t know.”

She held her arm out and looked at her watch again, which she’d done so many times I was beginning to think she needed to be somewhere, but now that I had a closer look, I realized her motive was a little simpler: she was showing off.

It hardly looked like a watch at all—more like an elegant gold bracelet with an oval-shaped bauble in the center. Only this was no ordinary bauble. It was a platinum gold watch face, encrusted with so many diamonds that even in the fading twilight it gleamed and glittered impressively.

Ms. Kramer smiled. “You should definitely try it. I recommend everyone have at least one rich husband before they die.”

The living area inside the pool house was just as spacious and exquisitely decorated as the main residence, with the same polished granite flooring and sleek, modern furniture, including a white leather sofa and two red velvet armchairs around a long rectangular glass coffee table. Ms. Kramer pointed down a hallway just beyond the kitchen.

“The guest room is down there, and then beyond that is the spa. It’s divine. You’re welcome to use it while you’re here. There’s a hot tub and a steam room, and beyond that are two showers and then a dry sauna. None of this was here when I met Al, just the pool. It was the first thing I did after we got married. I literally could not face the world without a steam room. Do you know what I mean?”

I gave her a half nod, followed by a quick shake of the head. “Actually, no. I’ve never been in a steam room in my life.”

She turned, her face suddenly somber. “What? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“No. Never.”

She shook her head. “Okay, that’s literally the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

I was beginning to wonder what in the world we were doing out here, mostly because I didn’t see a bird anywhere, nor, for that matter, did I hear one. It suddenly dawned on me that perhaps Ms. Kramer was expecting me to stay at her house while she was away.

I said, “You know, I don’t normally do overnight visits, although we could arrange it, but generally I charge more for…”

Her face changed slightly, a subtle narrowing of her eyes, but enough to make me stop talking, and then I heard a sound, almost like a muffled typewriter, but louder somehow— Pop pop pop pop pop pop!

Ms. Kramer frowned slightly. “What the hell was that?”

I’d heard that sound only once before, but it had stayed with me for more than a decade. During my training for the force, a deputy from the Miami sheriff’s department had given a presentation on how rapidly changing technology presents an ongoing challenge to law enforcement officers. If I was right, the sound we had just heard was an automatic rifle with a high-tech silencer attached.

Ms. Kramer took one step toward the living room with a puzzled look on her face. “It sounded like it came from the house.”

Just then, a man’s voice broke through the silence. He shouted something, but I couldn’t tell what, and then there were two more gunshots, much louder this time. As Ms. Kramer and I looked at each other, the sound of tires screeching on pavement came from somewhere beyond the house, and then we heard the grinding of a car’s engine recede into the distance.