Блейз Клемент - Even Cat Sitters Get The Blues

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Dixie has a knack for being in
the wrong place at the wrong
time. The day she happens upon
the dead body outside a fancy
mansion is no different. She's
had her fill of homicide investigations, so she leaves the
gate-keeper's corpse to be
found by somebody else.
Unfortunately, that somebody
else sees Dixie leaving the scene
of the crime, and the fatal bullet might have even come from her
own gun! To make matters
worse, the owner of the
mansion is Dixie's new client--a
scientist who is either a genius,
insane, or both--whose pet iguana is under her charge. All
that, plus a feisty calico kitten
that needs some TLC, means
that time is running out for
Dixie to cat nip this case in the
bud... and collar the killer.

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Table of Contents Title Page ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ONE TWO THREE FOUR - фото 1

Table of Contents

Title Page

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE

THIRTEEN

FOURTEEN

FIFTEEN

SIXTEEN

SEVENTEEN

EIGHTEEN

NINETEEN

TWENTY

TWENTY-ONE

TWENTY-TWO

TWENTY-THREE

TWENTY-FOUR

TWENTY-FIVE

TWENTY-SIX

TWENTY-SEVEN

TWENTY-EIGHT

TWENTY-NINE

Also by BLAIZE CLEMENT

Praise for BLAIZE CLEMENTand DUPLICITY DOGGED THE DACHSHUND

CAT SITTER ON A HOT TIN ROOF

Copyright Page

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

It may not take a village to write a book, but it sure takes a lot of help from a lot of people. As ever, I am indebted to the Thursday Morning Writing Group—Kate Holmes, Greg Jorgensen, Clark Lauren, and Roger Drouin—for their encouragement, suggestions, information, and friendship; to Annelise Robey and the rest of the Jane Rotrosen Agency for trusting me; and to Marcia Markland and her able editorial assistant, Diana Szu, for giving me unconditional support. A big thank-you as well to copyeditor Janet Baker, who winces when Dixie says “than me” instead of “than I” but allows it because I insist that’s how Dixie talks. Any grammatical blips are from my pig-headedness, not Janet’s oversights.

Thanks, too, to Spike, who served as model for Ziggy, and to Rob Crafts for many things, one of which was patiently teaching me about iguanas.

ONE

Christmas was coming, and I had killed a man.

Either of those facts was enough to make me want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head for a long, long time.

Not to mention the fact that I was having feelings for two men, when I’d never expected or wanted to love even one man again, ever.

Not to also mention the fact that I’d agreed to take care of an unknown freewheeling iguana today.

It was all too much for any one person, especially this person. I figured I had every right to put the brakes on my life and refuse to go on. To just stand up and yell, “Okay, time out! No more life for me for a while. I’ll get back to you when I’m ready.”

Instead, I crawled out of bed at 4 A.M., just like I do every friggin’ morning, and gutted up to face whatever the day would bring. It’s a genetic curse, coming as I do from a long line of people who just keep on keeping on, even when anybody in their right mind would step aside for a while.

I’m Dixie Hemingway, no relation to you-know-who. I’m a pet sitter on Siesta Key, which is a semitropical barrier island off Sarasota, Florida. Until almost four years ago, I was a deputy with the Sarasota County Sheriff’s Department. My husband was a deputy too. His name was Todd. We had a beautiful little girl. Her name was Christy. We were happy in the way of all young families, aware that bad things happened to other people but blocking out how exquisitely tenuous life really is. That all changed in a heartbeat. Two heartbeats, actually—the last of Todd’s and Christy’s.

I’ve read somewhere that excavators in Siberia found an intact woolly mammoth that had been entombed in ice for millennia. A butterfly was on the mammoth’s tongue. I think about that woolly mammoth a lot, because life’s like that. One second you can be blissfully standing in golden sunshine with butterflies flitting around you, and the next second— whap! —the world goes dark and you’re totally alone and frozen.

I went a little bit crazy when that happened to me. To tell the truth, I went more than a little crazy. My rage was so great that the Sheriff’s Department wisely decided that sending me out in public with a gun on my belt was like dropping a piranha in a goldfish bowl. But grief held too long eventually becomes a memorial to yourself, and you have to let it go.

When I was able to function again, I became a pet sitter. I like pets and they like me, and I’m not often in situations where I might revert to the old fury that buzzed in my veins for so long. I can’t say I’m completely free of either the grief or the craziness that goes with it, but I’m a lot better.

At least I was until I killed that man.

Not that he didn’t need killing. He did, and the grand jury agreed that he did. Actually, they agreed that I had killed him in self-defense and that it was a damn good thing I had, given the awful things he had done and would have done again, but that didn’t change the fact that I have to live with knowing I’ve killed somebody.

Killing changes a person. Ask any combat veteran responsible for enemy deaths. Ask any cop who’s had to take out a criminal. You can justify it, you can know that it was your job, that it was necessary, and that you’d do it again in the same circumstance, but it still changes you, even if nobody else knows it.

That, plus the fact that Christmas would be here in exactly twelve days, was causing me to avoid almost all human contact.

In my line of work, avoiding human contact is actually pretty easy. If a pet client is new, I have one meeting with its humans when we sign a contract and make sure everybody understands exactly what I will and will not do. I’m pretty much a pushover when it comes to pets, so I’ll do whatever they need, but I try not to let the humans know that right up front. They give me a key to their house and a security code number if they have an alarm system, show me their pet’s toys and favorite hiding places, and tell me what they want done in the event they both die while they’re away. Living in a retirement mecca where the majority of the inhabitants are over the age of sixty-five makes that an issue that comes up more frequently than you’d think. Sometimes it’s the other way around; they tell me what they want done with the pet in the event it dies while they’re away. That also happens more frequently than you’d think. Once we’ve all made sure we’re in accord about what’s best for the pet, they leave and I don’t have any more contact with them until they return.

That’s my modus operandi and it’s practically set in stone. The fact that I’d deviated so much from it when I agreed to take care of an iguana that day was a mystery. His owner had called the night before and talked me into taking the job even though he wasn’t one of my regular clients, and even though it is absolutely against my professional standards to take on a pet without first meeting both pet and owner. We’d had a bad connection and I’d had to strain to hear him. To this day, I’m not exactly sure what he said that was so persuasive—the husky Irish accent, maybe, not full-blown faith-and-begorra Irish but with enough of a lilt to make my mouth want to smile. Or maybe it was just that I have a soft spot in my heart for iguanas because my grandfather had one.

I said, “The iguana is in a cage?”

“No, no, he runs free. I don’t fancy cages.”

I nodded at the phone. My grandfather had felt the same way.

He said, “Somebody will be there to let you in. All you have to do is put out fresh vegetables. He dotes on yellow squash, and there’s some romaine and red chard. I’m forever in your debt for doing this, miss. Leave me a bill and I’ll get a check off to you the instant I get home.”

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