Рита Браун - Outfoxed

“Good. He can kill Peter’s chickens!”

Sister accepted Alice Ramy’s choleric nature. She was a woman only happy when airing a complaint, some terrible thing that had happened to her. Her narcissism was such that she even shied away from the disasters of others, their shortcomings. She concentrated solely on her own dramas. Sister patted the harrier on the head, then walked around the inside of the pen. “Here you go, Alice.” She pointed to a shallow tunnel dug under the wire.

Alice thumped over. “That’s how he did it.”

“Look at the size of this hound. Look at the size of the tunnel. And look at these tracks.” Sister pointed to clear fox prints.

“Dog. I told you.”

Sister knelt down again. “Hey, sweetie, give me your paw.”

“Give it to you. Wouldn’t give it to that bitch. I was on the trail of that fox. Aunt Netty. I’d know Aunt Netty anywhere. By the time I got here, Aunt Netty had had her jubilation.”

Sister pushed the paw into the dirt right next to the fox print. “See the difference?”

“Yes.” Alice shut her mouth like a carp.

“This hound couldn’t have shimmied under the wire. My guess is he was on the fox but far behind. It’s a good day for scent.”

“What am I going to do with all these dead chickens?” Alice chose not to apologize, since she could never be wrong. She simply accepted that the fox had killed the chickens but that didn’t mean she was wrong.

“Give you fifty cents apiece.”

“Two dollars apiece.”

“Fine.” Sister reached in her jeans pocket, counted out eighteen dollars, handed them to Alice. Then she picked up the chickens, tossing them in the back of the truck. Alice threw in the two dead roosters.

“I’ll shoot that fox if I see him.”

“Put a thin strip of concrete on the outside of your chicken coop or even a hot-wire. Might work. But don’t shoot a fox, Alice. It’s unsporting. If the fox comes back, I’ll replace your chickens. Just don’t kill him.”

“Maybe.”

“When the scared chickens come out, I’m willing to bet you another ten dollars that you’re missing a chicken. Fox carted it off.”

“What I want to know is why was this hound sitting in the middle of the chicken yard?”

“I just got here!”

“My hunch is, like I said, scent was good so he could have been a half a mile or even a mile behind the fox. Be easy to keep on the line today. By the time Rooster got here the fox was gone and as luck would have it, you walked out just then.”

“You can’t trust people. You’d say anything to cover a precious hound of yours or Peter Wheeler’s. All you foxhunters stick together.”

Sister whistled softly to Rooster, who followed her. “Can’t trust some people, Alice. Let me know if the fox comes back.”

“I could pee on her leg,” the harrier offered, but Sister trotted him out of there, putting him next to her in the truck. She wanted to get to Hangman’s Ridge before anyone saw the dead chickens in the back of the truck. No point in wasting good chickens. She’d strategically place them throughout that fixture after filling them full of ivermectin, a wormer.

By the time she reached Peter’s, she and Rooster were good friends. She honked the horn. Peter opened the back door. “Hey, Pete. Rooster was in the middle of Alice Ramy’s chicken pen. It’s confusing calling him Rooster in the middle of roosters.”

He slowly walked out, saw the dead chickens. “Guess these chickens won’t be crossing the road. Alice Ramy’s a good five miles from here. Rooster, what are you doing?”

“Fox killed her chickens. She blamed your hound, who doesn’t have a drop of blood on him. God, she’s a miserable bitch.”

“Yeah,” the dog agreed.

“Guess I’d better keep an eye on you, buddy.” Peter clapped his hands and Rooster jumped out of the truck when Sister opened the door. “Come on in for a drink.”

“Thanks. I’ll take a rain check. I want to put out these chickens.”

“Good idea.” He turned for the house. “I forgot to ask you the other day. . . . When I go, will you take care of Rooster and my chickens?”

“Yes. I wish you’d stop talking about dying.”

“Well, I feel just fine but I need to put my house in order. I’ve lived a long time. I’m damned grateful but it may be worth dying to get away from Crawford Howard.” He then related how Crawford had dropped by, giving him the hard sell. Sister didn’t get the chickens out until sundown.

CHAPTER 25

Aunt Netty ducked into Target’s den, as hers was a half mile farther on. She’d carried her booty long enough.

“A feast!” Charlene sank her fangs into a limp wing.

“You should have seen Alice Ramy, the sow,” Aunt Netty crowed in triumph. “If I were bigger I’d break her neck, too.”

Reynard, Charlie, Grace, and Patsy ate in respectful silence as the adults discussed corn, oats, and mice.

“The gleanings are especially good down by Whiskey Ridge,” Target said.

“It’s good everywhere. A perfect year. Oats, rye, corn, barley, fat mice, fatter rabbits.” Aunt Netty lived to eat. “Even my useless husband mentioned it the other day.”

“I haven’t seen Uncle Yancy since July,” Charlene noted.

“I hardly see him myself, which I consider a benefit,” his wife remarked. “He’s spent most of the summer down at Wheeler Mill studying the wheels and the raceway. He likes to talk to the foxes down there, reds, you know. Yancy feels that he can prove all mammals descend from a great prehistoric fox. He says birds come from flying reptiles, so we have nothing in common with them, but all mammals come from the original fox.”

“Even humans?” Reynard wondered.

“Yes. They’re more closely related to us than we’d like, but better to be close to a human than an armadillo, I suppose.”

Grace, the image of her mother, put her paw on a piece of flesh because Charlie was inching toward her. “Does that mean we’ll build machines?”

“I don’t follow, dear.” Aunt Netty, full, stretched out on her side.

“If we’re related to humans will we build machines like they do?” Grace slapped her brother, who put his nose too close to her portion of chicken.

“Gracious, no. Machines dull your senses. We’d never be so foolish.” Netty laughed. “That’s what’s wrong with them. They get further and further away from nature. Yancy says there was a time when they had better eyes and ears than they do now. He said once humans could even smell game. If they keep on the way they’re going, they’ll even lose their sense of direction. Yancy says millions of them live in cubicles stacked on top of one another. Seems impossible but he says he’s seen it on television.”

“Where does he watch television?” The patriarch of this family joined the conversation.

“Doug Kinser. Yancy sits on the window ledge and watches the eleven o’clock news.”

“Why bother? It’s only about them.” Charlene shrugged.

“Yancy says you never know when they’re going to do something stupid like build a dam. Affect all of us. Even St. Just.”

“I’ll snap his neck yet.” Target’s eyes lit up. “He’s worthless.”

“Worthless but smart. He won’t be satisfied until he sees you dead.” Aunt Netty lifted her head. “Children, take the chicken outside. Help your mother clean up this den.”

Patsy, the quiet one, whispered, “Dad, how can a blackbird kill a fox?”