Рита Браун: Catch As Cat Can

Contents

Title Page

Dedication

Cast of Characters and Events

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Chapter 52

Chapter 53

Dear Reader . . .

About the Authors

Also by Rita Mae Brown

Praise for the Mrs. Murphy Series

Welcome to the charming world of Sneaky Pie Brown.

A preview of The Tail of the Tip-Off

Copyright Page

Dedicated to

John Morris and Robert Steppe

When they're good, they're good

but when they're bad, they're better!

Cast of Characters and Events

Mary Minor Haristeen (Harry) The young postmistress of Crozet.

Mrs. Murphy Harry's gray tiger cat.

Tee Tucker Harry's Welsh corgi, Mrs. Murphy's friend and confidante.

Pewter Harry's shamelessly fat gray cat.

Pharamond Haristeen (Fair) Veterinarian, formerly married to Harry.

Mrs. George Hogendobber (Miranda) A widow who works with Harry in the post office.

Susan Tucker Harry's best friend.

BoomBoom Craycroft A tall, beautiful blonde who irritates Harry.

Big Marilyn Sanburne (Mim) The undisputed queen of Crozet society.

Little Mim Sanburne The daughter of Big Mim, struggling for her own identity.

Tally Urquhart Older than dirt, she says what she thinks when she thinks it, even to her niece, Mim the Magnificent.

Rick Shaw Sheriff.

Cynthia Cooper Sheriff's deputy.

Herbert C. Jones Pastor of St. Luke's Lutheran Church.

Lottie Pearson Assistant Director for Major Gifts at the university. She is in her mid-thirties, ambitious, well connected, looking for Mr. Right. If she can't find Mr. Right she might weaken and take Mr. Right Now.

Thomas Steinmetz Second-in-command to the Ambassador from Uruguay. He is suave, very wealthy, and always ready for a good time. He doesn't discuss his age but he's probably in his mid-forties.

Diego Aybar Under-Counsel to the Ambassador of Uruguay. He most often assists Thomas Steinmetz. He is as handsome as a swarthy Apollo; women fall all over him.

Sean O'Bannon The proprietor with his brother, Roger, of O'Bannon Salvage. Taking over the business after his father's death a year ago, Sean has increased profits by catering to the restoration trade. He's a good businessman, single, late thirties.

Roger O'Bannon Outgoing, raucous, besotted with Lottie Pearson, he works hard at the salvage yard but he plays hard, too. He tries Sean's patience at times.

Don Clatterbuck He repairs leather items such as tack or leather sofas. He also practices taxidermy as a hobby. He's a low-key working-class guy.

Pope Rat A disreputable rat living at the O'Bannon Salvage yard. He knows how to steal food out of the vending machines.

Abraham A very old, courtly bluetick hound.

The Dogwood Festival A spring celebration with wine tastings, parties, and parades organized by many communities in central Virginia. Crozet hosts a parade.

The Wrecker's Ball A fund-raiser for a charity selected each year by members of the salvage and building trades. The O'Bannons are currently in charge of the ball.

1

Long, low strips of silver fog filled the green hollows and ravines of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The mists feathered over the creeks and rivers at six-thirty in the morning. Redbud was blooming, the tulips had opened. The white and pink dogwoods would explode in another week.

Mrs. Murphy, awake since five-thirty, snuggled next to Pewter, whose small snore sounded like a mud dauber at work, a low buzz. The two cats rested in the hollow of Mary Minor Haristeen's back while Tucker, the corgi, stretched out to her full length, most impressive, on the hooked rug next to the bed. She, too, snored slightly.

Murphy loved spring. Her undercoat would shed out, making her look sleeker and feel lighter. The robins returned, indigo buntings and bluebirds filled the skies. Down by the creek the redwing blackbirds snatched insects, gobbling them in one swallow. The scarlet tanagers flew into the orchards for their forays. The rise in the bird population excited the tiger cat even though she rarely caught one. Both she and Pewter dreamed of killing the blue jay who made their lives miserable. Hateful and aggressive, he would dart at them in a nosedive, scream as he got close, then pull up at the last moment just out of paw's reach. This particular blue jay also made a point of pooping on the clean clothes hung on the line to dry. Harry hated him, too. Harry was Mary Minor's nickname, which often surprised people upon meeting the young, good-looking woman.

People assumed her nickname derived from her married name but she had earned it in grade school because her clothes were liberally decorated with cat and dog hair. Her little friends hadn't yet mastered spelling, so hairy became harry. To this day some of her classmates remained on uneasy terms with spelling but rarely with Harry.

Outside the opened window, the cat heard the loud rat-ta-tat-tat of woodpeckers. She couldn't remember a spring with so many woodpeckers or so many yellow swallowtail butterflies.

The giant pileated woodpecker, close to two feet in length, proved a fearsome sight. This bird, found throughout the hickory and oak forests of central Virginia, was a primitive life-form and in repose one could almost see his flying reptile ancestors reflected in his visage.

The smaller woodpeckers, though large enough, seemed less fearsome. Mrs. Murphy enjoyed watching woodpeckers circle a tree, stop, peck for insects, then circle again. She noticed that some birds circled up and some circled down and she wondered why. She couldn't get close enough to one to ask because as soon as they'd see her, they'd fly off to another juicy tree.

As a rule, birds disdained conversation with cats. The mice, moles, and shrews happily chattered away from the safety of their holes. “Chattered” being a polite term, because they'd taunt the cats. The barn mice even sang, because their high-pitched voices drove Mrs. Murphy crazy.

The tiger glanced over at the clock. Harry, usually up at five-thirty, had overslept. Fortunately, today was Saturday, so she wouldn't have to rush in to work at the post office in Crozet. A part-time worker took care of Saturday's mail. But Harry, an organized soul, hated to waste daylight. Murphy knew she'd fret when she awoke and discovered how late it was.

Pewter opened one chartreuse eye. “I'm hungry.”

“There are crunchies in the bowl.”

“Tuna.” The fat gray cat opened the other eye, slightly lifting her pretty round head.

“I wouldn't mind some myself. Let's wake up our can opener.” Murphy laughed.