Ник Сайнт - Purrfectly Deadly

“Thanks, Chief,” said Chase warmly, and popped a meatball into his mouth. “These meatballs are just great, Marge.”

“Thanks,” said Mom. “But it’s actually my mother you should thank, Detective. She rolled them, isn’t that right, Mom?”

Gran, who was still looking a little hyped up, nodded. “That’s right. They’re my specialty. Always had a keen interest in meatballs, if you catch my drift.” At this, she directed a look so lascivious at Chase, Odelia almost groaned in embarrassment. Dad had given her a quick checkup, and had said there was no danger. That the effects of the drug would wear off pretty soon. Apart from occasional hot flashes and a sense of euphoria, she’d be just fine. What he hadn’t said was that she was going to be horny as heck. Which Odelia should probably have realized, cause that was exactly the reason John Paul George had been so fond of this particular substance.

“Yeah, you’ve got some amazing balls, Vesta,” Dad said, oblivious.

“I know,” said Gran, “and I’m not the only one.” Once again, she shot some pretty lewd looks in Chase’s direction. To his credit, the cop decided to steer the conversation to safer waters and away from the meatball theme.

“The reason I haven’t found a place yet is because this town has some pretty expensive real estate,” he said now.

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Dad. “Lots of folks have decided to profit from the boom by turning their houses into B & Bs and the rest have been snapped up by tourists. Hard to find something reasonably priced nowadays. Unless you’re handy with tools? There’s always a fixer-upper you can find, Chase.”

“Oh, I’ll bet he’s real handy with his tools,” said Gran, licking her lips.

“Well, I am,” said Chase, after giving Gran a bemused look. “But not handy enough to fix up an entire house, I’m afraid.”

“You’ll find something,” said Uncle Alec. “Until then mi casa es su casa .”

“So have you made any progress on the JPG case yet?” asked Mom.

“Yeah, do you think you’ve got the right guy in custody?” asked Dad.

“Well, I’m still leaning toward Jasper,” said Uncle Alec. “I really like him as a suspect. He had opportunity—he knew exactly which vial was Johnny’s and he could easily have slipped in that venom—and he sure had motive, from what I can tell. And let’s not forget that his fingerprints were all over that vial.”

“Too bad,” said Dad with a shake of his head. “I’ve gotten to like the guy. I would never have pegged him for a killer. Not in a million years.”

“Sometimes it’s the ones you least suspect,” said the Chief.

“So what was his motive?” asked Dad. “Why did he do it?”

“The obvious one: money. He was slowly being edged out of Johnny’s inner circle and that mustn’t have sat well with him. It was only a matter of time before Johnny was going to ask him to pack his bags and clear out, and that would have been the end of his cushy life.”

“But he’s not going to inherit much, is he?” asked Odelia.

“He stands to inherit plenty,” said Uncle Alec. “I talked to Johnny’s lawyer and he said Jasper gets the house and a monthly allowance. That’s plenty of motive right there. Plenty of folks would kill for a deal like that.”

“But what about the bulk of the estate?” asked Odelia. “Who gets that?”

“Ah, now there’s something interesting,” said the Chief, wiping his lips on his napkin and placing it next to his plate.

“The wife,” said Chase. “She gets the whole kit and caboodle.”

Odelia noticed the detective didn’t seem happy about it for some reason.

“We didn’t even know there was a wife, did we, Chase?” asked the Chief.

“We sure didn’t,” he said, in the same subdued way.

“Not only was Johnny still married, Mrs. George inherits all.”

“So what about Johnny’s six sisters?” asked Odelia. She’d read somewhere that Johnny had no less than six sisters, who lived in England.

“Whose sexy sisters?” asked Gran, confused.

“They’ll get their share,” the Chief confirmed, ignoring his mother, “but compared to what the wife gets that’s just chump change.”

“I knew about the wife,” said Mom. “I didn’t know she was still in the picture, though. She must be happy after the sacrifices she made.”

“Sacrifices?” asked Chase.

“Yes, Mom told me that Bryony spent a fortune launching Johnny’s career,” said Odelia.

“Not just a fortune, her entire family’s fortune,” Mom corrected her.

“So I guess it’s only fair she gets to recuperate it,” Odelia said.

“So this wife,” Dad said. “This… Bryony…”

“Pistol,” Mom supplied.

“A real pistol,” Gran murmured inexplicably, munching on a meatball.

“This Bryony Pistol,” Dad continued. “Have you talked to her? Maybe she’s got what you detectives call, um, means, motive and opportunity?” He smiled apologetically. “You can tell I’m not the sleuth in this family.”

“We’re going to interview her first thing tomorrow morning,” said the Chief. He gave Chase a quick glance. “That is to say, I’m going to talk to her.”

Odelia frowned at this. “Why not Chase?”

“There’s a hitch,” Chase said. “Turns out Bryony Pistol has a daughter—”

“Veronica George,” the Chief said.

“—who filed a restraining order against me some time ago.”

They all stared at him, stunned. “What do you mean?” asked Odelia.

Uncle Alec cleared his throat. “Talk about a small world, huh? Turns out Johnny’s little girl, who’s not so little anymore, used to date the scumbag you arrested today. Orville Haggis. Orville isn’t his real name, though. He goes by the name Rubb. Donovan Rubb.”

Gran, whose eyes had drooped closed, sat up with a start. “Rub? Rub who?”

The Chief stared at her for a moment, then continued, “Turns out Donovan Rubb and Veronica George are the ones that caused so much trouble for Chase. They’re not an item anymore, but she’s the one that filed those charges against Chase, and got him kicked off the force.”

They all exchanged startled glances. “So you can’t talk to her?” asked Mom. “That’s just crazy.”

Chase nodded. “I can’t come within three hundred feet of the woman.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” said Dad, and his words spoke for all of them.

For a moment, a pregnant silence descended upon the company, until Gran croaked, “More meatballs anyone? Take ‘em while they’re hot.”

“Why don’t I go with you tomorrow, Uncle Alec?” Odelia suggested. “I mean, I have to talk to the widow anyway, for my article, so we might as well go together. Especially now that Chase can’t come near the daughter.”

“That’s a great idea,” said the Chief.

“That’s a terrible idea,” said Chase. “Come on, Chief. Odelia is not a cop. You can’t bring her into this investigation.”

“She’s already front and center,” said the Chief. “Or have you forgotten she’s the one that nailed those two drug dealers? Besides, she’s a great interviewer, that niece of mine. Aren’t you, honey?”

“But this goes against every rule in the book,” Chase protested.

“We’re not big on rules down here,” Gran piped up.

“Yeah, you’ll find that we tend to do things different in Hampton Cove,” said Dad, clapping the burly cop on the back. “And Odelia has a knack for solving mysteries.”

“She used to try and solve mysteries when she was just a little girl,” said Mom. “Tell Chase about that time you solved the teddy bear mystery, honey.”

In spite of himself, Chase’s lips quirked up into a grin. “Teddy bear mystery?”