Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Crime

“That’s because he’s a different body type,” she snapped.

Brutus lifted his face to me, the look of a long-suffering cat in his eyes. ‘See what I’m dealing with here?’ the look seemed to say. ‘You’re not the only cat who’s in pain.’

And then I got it. For some reason, Harriet had put her beau on a diet. And knowing Brutus as a great trenchercat, one whose jaws never seemed to stop mauling some little morsel or snack, he was probably in his own private hell right now. And since misery loves company, he was obviously looking upon me as a friend. A fellow sufferer of this diet craze.

“Brutus,” Harriet said as she headed for the door. “Are you coming?”

Brutus directed a longing look at the kitchen, where my bowl of Cat Snax stood.

“Brutus! I’m not going to tell you twice!”

The former bully hung his head and shuffled out the door, his proud spirit broken.

“You know? I’m actually feeling sorry for the guy,” said Dooley, watching him leave.

“Me too. Who would have thought Harriet could turn into the cat from hell?”

“I did,” Dooley said ruefully. “She once accused me of being a spineless yellow-belly.”

“But why?”

“For not standing up to you more.”

“To me!”

He nodded. “She figured you treated me more like a slave than a friend sometimes, and told me to rise up and not take any more of your crap.”

“Why, the little minx! Trying to drive a wedge through our friendship!”

“You have been kind of insufferable lately, though, Max. So maybe Harriet had a point.”

“Insufferable? Me? Are you crazy?!”

Dooley winced. “I think it’s the diet. It makes you cranky.”

“I’m never cranky! I’m the picture of equanimity and poise!”

“I don’t know what that means, but you have to admit you have a pretty short fuse these days. I love you, Max, but it’s tough being your friend when you’re hungry.”

I thought about this. Maybe Dooley was right. I did get pretty cranky when I was hungry, and I did have a tendency to take it out on others. I gave him a rueful look. “I’m sorry, buddy. I guess you’re right. I don’t like feeling hungry, but I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“That’s all right. I don’t like being hungry either. I guess none of us do.”

I plunked my head down on my paws. “I know one thing, Dooley.”

“What’s that?”

“Dieting sucks.”

“Well, at least the case is solved. I’m sure Odelia will lighten up now.”

“Yeah, at least there’s that.”

From beyond our garden, Harriet’s high-pitched voice reached our ears.

“Brutus! I told you not to eat that mouse!”

“But I like mice!” Brutus said plaintively. “They’re full of proteins.”

“Too many saturated fats! Now come along. Time for our power walk. Work off that fat!”

I shared a look with Dooley, and we both shook our heads. “Poor Brutus,” I said.

Chapter 26

“I can’t believe she’s dead,” Zelda wailed. The effect of whatever she’d been on had worn off by now, and she finally seemed to realize what she’d done.

Chase and Odelia were sitting across the table from the actress, whose hands were shackled down. Odelia directed a pleading look at Chase, who took the keys to her cuffs out of his pocket and released the woman.

“She was my best friend!” Zelda continued to wail, gratefully accepting the box of tissues Odelia placed in front of her.

“I thought she was your greatest rival,” said Chase.

“She was—but being the greatest rivals created a bond. After my career tanked, Donna was the only one who cared to look me up. She helped me find an apartment when my money ran out and even paid the rent. She was the only true friend I ever had.”

Now this was news. “So where do you live now?” asked Odelia.

“Long Island City. I moved out here when Donna moved out here.”

“And Donna was paying your rent?”

“She was. Now that she’s gone I guess that’ll be over.”

“Maybe not. Maybe she put a provision in her will for you.”

Zelda looked up hopefully. “You think?”

“Didn’t you ever talk about this kind of stuff?”

She shook her head. “Donna figured we’d live forever. She refused to discuss death. Said if we just ignored it we might be able to cheat it.” She laughed through her tears. “She was a real hoot once you got to know her.”

“What about royalties from your movies?” asked Chase. “You made so many amazing movies. Possibly the best and greatest franchise in the history of cinema.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I can tell you’re a real fan, Detective. But back when I made those movies I wasn’t a star at all. I was just a beginning actress and I signed a lousy deal. I got paid twenty-five grand for the first one, a bit more for the others. The last one netted me three hundred thousand.”

“Not exactly big money.”

“Not exactly. If you subtract taxes, agent fees, social security and all that, there wasn’t a whole lot left. Not enough to retire on, that’s for sure.”

Odelia caught Chase frowning. It was obvious that there was no motive for Zelda to murder Donna. Not if she stood to lose her benefactor. The woman who’d helped her out all these years.

“Are you sure you don’t remember where you were yesterday morning, Zelda?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I get these memory lapses. I’ll lose hours at a time.”

It wasn’t hard to figure out why that was. Officers had found Zelda’s abandoned car a mile from Donna’s house, the door open. Inside, they’d discovered enough weed to supply a small colony. And the smoking thing Dooley and Max had seen her use inside the house wasn’t incense but Zelda’s bong, which explained the pungent odor that had permeated the house.

“Did Donna also finance your marijuana habit?” she asked.

The woman’s eyes widened. “Marijuana? I don’t have a marijuana habit.”

“Come on, Zelda,” said Chase. “We found your car. And your stash.”

She sobered. “That’s for medicinal purposes only. I have allergies.”

“Pot helps with allergies?”

“Pot helps with everything,” she said with a lazy grin. “I could actually use some right now. Can you hook me up?”

“Are you really asking a cop to hook you up with drugs?” asked Chase.

She narrowed her eyes. “Is that a trick question?”

He turned to Odelia. “Can I talk to you outside?”

They both left the room. “I don’t think she did it,” said Chase once they were alone.

“You’re only saying that because she’s your hero.”

He pointed at the woman behind the one-way mirror. “Do you seriously want me to believe that wreck of a human being had the presence of mind to steal a hive of bees, then execute the perfect crime? She doesn’t even remember how she got to Donna’s house in the first place. Not to mention the fact that Donna paid her rent and who knows what else.”

“I was just kidding. I don’t think she did it either.”

“Oh, Christ!” Chase yelled, fisting his fingers in his hair and pulling. “Back to square one!”

“Looks like it,” Odelia confessed. She studied Zelda for a moment, who was now making finger guns and pretending to shoot at the ceiling. Probably reenacting one of the stunts she’d done without a stunt double on the set of Star Cars . “We’ll just have to keep on digging,” she finally said.

“We got the analysis back on some tire tracks we found behind Donna’s house.”

“And?”

“Toyota Tacoma. We’re putting together a list of Tacoma owners. It might take a while.”

She nodded. Good old-fashioned police work. Chase was an ace at that kind of thing, and so was her uncle. She depended more on her instincts, her cats and… sheer luck. She rubbed her eyes.