Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Secret

“Oh, I don’t believe this.”

“I knew you wouldn’t, Odelia.”

“Oh, no. I do believe you, Milo. And I’m glad you’re telling me all this.”

“You should probably talk to Brutus and Harriet, too.”

“What have they done?”

“They hate Max, and they hate each other, and Max hates all of them, too. In fact if I were you I’d separate them. Make sure they don’t kill each other, I mean.”

“I can’t separate them. They all live under the same roof.”

“Then I guess there’s only one solution.”

“You’re not asking me to…”

“I know the pound has a bad rep but it’s really not such a nasty place as they say. Aloisia got me from the pound, and a wonderful time I had there, too. Made lots and lots of great friends. Just look at it as a place where cats can find a new and happy home.”

I shook my head disgustedly. I finally had Milo’s number. My first impulse was to crawl from under the bed and tell Odelia the truth. But would she believe me? This cat was such a skilled liar she might not. So then I got a better idea. The only solution to the Milo problem. The solution I should have thought of sooner, if I hadn’t believed his lies myself.

Chapter 22

I walked into the TV nook and found Odelia ensconced on the couch, Milo on her lap, Grandma next to her, and no sign of Brutus, Dooley or Harriet. Odelia & Co were watching the adventures of Kit Katt & Koh, though judging from the frown on Odelia’s face she wasn’t really following the story. And Grandma wasn’t looking too attentive either, her thoughts clearly miles away. Only Milo was having a grand old time, enjoying Odelia’s loving caress.

I now knew what his endgame was. To usurp my position in Odelia’s home and heart.

So I casually strode up to them, ignoring the foul smell emanating from the wall where Dooley had done his business and which no one had bothered to clean up, and plunked myself down at Odelia’s feet.

She gave me a dark frown. “Max,” she said. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“I know, I know,” I said, bowing my head. “I have a confession to make. But first I want to apologize to you, Milo.”

“To me?” asked Milo, clearly surprised.

“Yes. I know I haven’t always treated you the way I should have. The fact of the matter is that I felt threatened when you first arrived. I guess…” I shrugged, and gave Odelia my best Puss in Boots face. “I guess I don’t feel as secure in this relationship as I thought I did. I saw Milo as an intruder—someone who would take my place—and I lashed out. And for that I’m deeply, deeply sorry. In fact I feel so ashamed I only managed to work up the courage to face you now, Odelia.”

“Oh, Max,” said Odelia, softening. “It’s so nice of you to apologize. What do you say, Milo?”

Milo wasn’t saying anything. A suspicious expression had rearranged his face into a frown, and he was staring at me intently. Then, finally, he gave me a slight nod, almost like a Godfather nod. “Thank you, Max. It must have taken a great deal of courage to admit this.”

I held out my paw. “Friends?”

Milo touched his paw against mine. “Friends,” he agreed.

“Oh, you guys,” said Odelia, wiping a tear from her eye. “I love you both so much. And I’m so proud of you. Especially you, Max. Like Milo said, it must have taken a lot of courage to own up to your mistakes like that. So now how do you feel?”

“Better,” I said. “Like a weight has been lifted from my heart.”

“See?” asked Odelia, scratching Milo behind his ears. “Max isn’t so bad. And I’m sure you guys will be best friends from now on.”

“Don’t count on it,” Grandma muttered.

“What?” asked Odelia, confused.

“Nothing,” said Grandma. “I didn’t say nothing.”

I entered Marge and Tex’s house through the kitchen and immediately went in search of my former friends. Milo was at Odelia’s, who was giving him some of my favorite food, and I hoped he’d stay there. So far he’d limited his domain to Odelia’s, but I had a feeling he might expand his reach as soon as he felt he’d conquered my human’s place.

I traipsed through the kitchen, and was surprised to find Marge home alone, Tex nowhere in sight. She smiled down at me. “Dooley is in the family room, Max.”

“Thanks,” I told her. I walked through to the family room, where Dooley was watching on as Kit Katt instructed Koh to infiltrate a mobster’s lair and talk to a pair of mice.

“Mice!” Koh growled. A black cat with distinct green eyes, Koh always growled for some reason. Possibly because it made him look more butch. “I hate mice.”

“Please talk to them, Koh. You’re the only one who can,” implored Kit, an auburn-haired beauty played by the popular up-and-comer Virginia Salt. “Only you can save that little girl now. I know she’s in there somewhere, and those mice might lead you to her.”

“All right,” Koh snarled. When he wasn’t growling, he was snarling. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Koh,” said Kit. “You’re the best.”

“No, you’re the best.”

“No, you’re the best.”

Figuring this lovefest might go on for a while, I walked up to the couch and hopped on next to Dooley. He didn’t even look up.

“Hey, Dooley,” I said.

“Don’t bother, Max,” he growled—probably got that from Koh. “I know what you really think about me so just go away.”

“What did Milo tell you? That I hate you and that I think you’re ugly and dumb and blah-blah-blah?”

His frown deepened and his whiskers twitched, indicative of a powerful emotion.

“He said you knew I was dying and you didn’t even bother to tell me because you figured I just couldn’t handle the truth. But you don’t care about me and that’s the truth.”

“Wanna know what he said about you?”

He continued morosely. “What?”

“He said you tell everyone who will listen that I’m possessive and obsessive about Odelia and want to keep her for myself. You also tell them I’m deeply, madly in love with Harriet.”

Dooley looked up for the first time. “What? I never said that.”

“That’s what Milo told me you said. He’s been lying, Dooley. Setting us up against each other. And do you know what he told Odelia just now? That we hate sleuthing and that the only reason we go along with it is because of the special treats she gives us when we come up with a clue.”

“Well, there is some truth to that,” he admitted. “I like those super-special treats.”

“But that’s not the reason we do this! He also told her I tortured him today—made his life a living hell—even denied him food and water and told him to jump under a UPS truck. And then he said we all hate each other and Odelia should just do herself a favor and dump us all at the pound.”

Now I really had Dooley’s attention. “The pound!”

“Yup. That’s been his plan all along. He wants us out of here so he can take over.”

“But he has a human. This Aloisia person.”

“Maybe she doesn’t treat him as well as Odelia does? I don’t know. Fact of the matter is that he’s been setting us up with a bunch of nonsense.”

“What nonsense?” asked a voice from my rear. When I turned I saw that Harriet and Brutus had snuck up on us and had jumped onto the couch, too.

“It’s Milo,” said Dooley. “He told Odelia how much we all hate each other and how she should drop us off at the pound.”

“Milo also told me that you’re my son, Brutus,” I said. “Which, now that I’ve had some time to think about it, seems impossible. For one thing we’re the same age, and when I had… relations… with… that cat… I wasn’t a kitten and neither was she.” I blushed. Luckily no one saw it, on account of my blorange fur. “Oh, and he also said Harriet is my sister. Which seems unlikely, as we look nothing alike.”