Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Advice. Purrfect Passion. A Purrfect Gnomeful

If the cat community of Hampton Cove got word of this our names would be mud. Of course they were mud already, after our unsuccessful fight with Hector and Helga.

Very humiliating for a cat to have to declare defeat against a couple of mice.

“So how was it to live with the most famous actress in the world?” I asked.

“Oh, I didn’t have all that much to do with Maria,” said Elsa. “She kept herself to herself, and so did I. But Boomer sometimes told me stories about her.”

“What kind of stories?”

“He found her a little sad,” said Elsa. “Apparently she had a few husbands who didn’t live up to her expectations and left her broken-hearted. So now she prefers to live alone. Well, with a dozen staff to cater to her every need, of course. So she’s not really alone.”

“She was married a lot of times, was she?”

“Oh, sure. Eight husbands, at last count, and all of them up to no good. Swindlers, fraudsters, cheaters, bullies, drunks and druggies, according to Boomer. She never had much luck in that department.”

“Poor woman,” said Dooley.

“No, poor she most definitely is not. She has a nice fortune safely tucked away.”

“We haven’t told you this, but we’re investigating a murder,” I said. “Or in fact two murders, and maybe even three.”

“Murders?” said Elsa, her eyes widening in surprise. “Is that why you were at the house?”

“Yeah, our human is a reporter, and amateur sleuth, and her boyfriend is a detective, so they were there to interview Maria. Though I can’t imagine what they hoped to find. She has a certain involvement with the case, I suppose, but not directly.”

“A woman was murdered by Odelia’s boss,” Dooley explained. “And then yesterday he murdered a man, and then he probably murdered another woman.”

“That’s a lot of murder,” said Elsa, deeply impressed.

“I don’t think Dan murdered the cleaner,” I said. “He was already in police custody by the time she fell down the stairs.”

“He could have popped over and killed her before he was arrested,” said Dooley.

“No, he was apprehended at the hotel, remember? But anyway, Daisy Rayo presumably wasn’t the victim of a crime but of her own clumsy feet. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck,” I explained for Elsa’s sake.

“Oh, right,” said the tiny mouse with the predilection for fine cheeses. I’d have to let Odelia know she needed to stock up on Gouda, Cheddar and Brie. And cream cheese, of course. To make Elsa feel at home. “So your human’s boss is a murderer?” she asked.

“Yeah, looks like,” I said. “Though Odelia isn’t convinced. She thinks Dan may have been set up.”

And he could very well have been. By this mysterious UPS man who wasn’t a UPS man. Though back at the hotel it seemed clear that Dan was the culprit. At any rate, I thought it was time that Odelia brought us up to speed on the investigation. There were gaps in my knowledge of what exactly had happened and what discoveries she’d made.

I blamed this entirely on my preoccupation with Hector and Helga. I simply didn’t have my head in the sleuthing game at this point, and I sincerely hoped Elsa could help us out so I could dedicate my time to helping my human catch killers again.

A cat suddenly stole out of the undergrowth by the side of the road and stared at us.

“Is that… a mouse?” the cat asked, incredulous.

I immediately recognized this passerby as Clarice.

“Um… yes,” I said hesitantly.

The raggedy cat barked an incredulous laugh. “Are you seriously carrying a mouse on your back, Dooley?”

“Her name is Elsa,” said Dooley pleasantly. “And she’s going to help us chase away the mice in our house.”

Clarice frowned and thought about this for a moment. “I think I see what you’re doing. Very clever, Dooley. Use one evil to destroy another evil. Devious. Very devious.”

“For your information, I’m not evil,” said Elsa.

“No, Elsa is very nice,” said Dooley. “She gave us some very tasty cheese to eat.”

Clarice rolled her eyes. “So she bought you. I should have known it was the mouse who’s the clever one, and not you two. Well, carry on, I suppose. It’s your funeral.”

And with these words, she slunk back into the undergrowth and disappeared.

“We should have asked her to help us with Hector and Helga,” said Dooley.

“She would have said no,” I said. “Brutus already asked her and she refused.”

“Maybe she changed her mind.”

“Doubtful.”

“Was that a friend of yours?” asked Elsa.

“Yeah, Clarice. She’s a feral cat,” I said.

“She’s very nice, and very sweet if you get to know her,” said Dooley.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I want to,” said Elsa with a shiver. “She gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Yeah, Clarice has that effect on mice,” I said. “And cats. And people. Well, pretty much on everyone, I guess.”

“She eats rats whole,” said Dooley admiringly. “She simply gobbles them up and swallows them down. You have to see it to believe it.”

“Oh, I believe it,” said Elsa, who clearly wasn’t a fan of Clarice.

And so we continued our long trek into town. I sincerely hoped that next time Odelia would stick around long enough to take us back by car. Not much fun to have a human with a car if she’s going to desert you in the middle of nowhere, I mean to say.

Chapter 28

Odelia had just stepped out of the police station when a woman approached her. She looked in her late fifties, with a pronounced nose and chin, large glasses and a slight overbite.

“Odelia Poole?” asked the woman.

“Yes,” said Odelia, stopping in her tracks.

“Um… could I please have a word with you, Miss Poole? It concerns the Gnomeos.”

“Of course,” said Odelia immediately, and gestured to the town square, where a couple of benches had been placed for people to repose and enjoy the, frankly quite hideous, statue of one of Hampton Cove’s former mayors.

They took a seat in the shade and the woman looked around nervously for a moment. She was dressed in a gray woolen suit that looked absolutely uncomfortable and entirely too hot for the kind of weather they’d been having. Even now the sun was out in full force, and even in her flowery summer cotton dress Odelia was feeling hot.

“My name is Jacqueline Goossens,” said the woman, pushing her glasses up her nose. “And I’m a member of the Gnomeos. Have been since its inception. I’m also a member of the Maria Power Society.”

“Oh, so you’re in both clubs?”

“Yes, which is perhaps a little strange, as the heads of the clubs have been mortal enemies for years. The thing is… I read about the murder of Jack Warner, and that Dan Goory was arrested?”

Odelia nodded encouragingly. “And you have information that can help Dan?”

“Oh, no,” said the woman. “I have information that is probably damning for him.” She looked a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I know he’s your boss and all, and you probably don’t want to hear this, but…” She swallowed uncomfortably, then went on, “The thing is, I would really prefer not to go to the police. I don’t care for the attention, and this case is going to attract a lot of attention.”

“You want me to promise not to talk to the police?”

“Yes, very much so. It’s just that… I don’t know what to do with this information. I feel I should probably share it with someone, but since I’d prefer not to go to the police…” She gave Odelia a helpless look.

“That’s all right. If you tell me, I’ll make sure to tell them. And I’ll keep your name out of it if you like.”