Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Advice. Purrfect Passion. A Purrfect Gnomeful

Jacqueline looked distinctly relieved. “Oh, thank you, Miss Poole. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. Now what did you want to tell me?”

“Well, a couple of days ago we had a meeting of the Gnomeos. One of our monthly meetings. We mainly discussed the upcoming retrospective, of course, and the contents of our next club magazine, but then Dan said something that caught my attention. He told me that very soon he’d be in a situation where he’d be able to best the Maria Power Society once and for all. He said he was about to come into the possession of an item that would blow Jack Warner and his Society out of the water, and make people leave his club in droves and join the Gnomeos.

“When I asked him what this object was, he merely gave me a meaningful look and whispered that it had something to do with the name of our club.”

“The Gnomeos.”

Jacqueline nodded. “And then the day before yesterday I saw him on the street as I was walking past his office and he told me the meeting had been arranged for the next morning, and it wouldn’t be long now before he had the object in his possession. He seemed very excited about the prospect. ‘Come what may,’ he told me, ‘I’m making history tomorrow.’”

“He said that?”

“Yes, those exact words. And then of course when I heard about the death of that young woman, I couldn’t help but remember his words, and wonder if something had happened that had made him lose his temper with her.”

“You think he killed her.”

Jacqueline shrugged. “I don’t know Dan as a violent man, but he’s always been extremely passionate about Maria Power and anything to do with the Gnomeos.”

“That’s what my uncle thinks,” Odelia confided. “Heather Gallop used to work for Rupert Finkelstein’s daughter, who died a couple of months ago. He thinks it’s conceivable that Heather got hold of a copy of the Gnomeo movie and offered to sell it to Dan. But they argued over the price, and so Dan murdered her and stole the movie.”

Jacqueline’s eyes had gone wide. “You really think this Heather Gallop had a copy of Gnomeo in her possession?”

“I have no idea. It’s just a theory at this point, and Dan denies everything. He says he never even met the woman.”

“But he does admit that she promised to sell him the movie?”

“No. He claims that when Heather made the appointment she didn’t mention a movie. She only mentioned the word Gnomeo. But it was enough to pique Dan’s interest.”

“It must have been the movie,” said Jacqueline. “It simply must have been.”

“Yes, it certainly looks that way.”

Odelia stared at the statue for a moment, wondering how a movie made several decades ago could possibly cause so much trouble now.

“Look, please don’t tell Dan I told you,” said Jacqueline. “I like him very much. He’s a decent man, and I admire his passion for the Gnomeos.”

“I won’t tell him,” Odelia promised.

“We’re actually thinking about organizing a meeting of both fan clubs,” said Jacqueline. “We think it’s time to bury the hatchet. Now that Jack is gone, and Dan is in prison, the members feel we should all come together, and end this silly feud.”

“Yes, it seems silly to have two clubs dedicated to the same thing,” Odelia agreed.

“Thanks for listening,” said Jacqueline with a smile. She placed her hand on Odelia’s arm. “I really needed that.”

“No problem,” said Odelia, though she wasn’t happy that Jacqueline had given her one more reason to doubt Dan’s innocence. But the facts were what they were. Even her loyalty to her boss wasn’t going to change that.

They both got up, and Jacqueline said, “Do you want to come? To the joint meeting, I mean? Club meetings are always a lot of fun, and this one is going to be one for the books. The very first meeting of the two clubs, united after all these years.”

“Yeah, sure,” said Odelia. “I would like that.”

Jacqueline smiled. “Thanks so much, Odelia.”

Odelia watched her walk away. At least something good was going to come out of all of this. From now on Hampton Cove would have one Maria Power fan club instead of two. And no more fighting.

And as she set foot for the office, she wondered if it was possible that Dan was innocent of the first murder—that UPS guy looked like a strong suspect indeed—and guilty of Jack Warner’s murder?

At any rate, her boss was in big trouble. And so was the newspaper he’d founded.

Chapter 29

We finally arrived home, and as Dooley took Elsa into the house, to get acquainted with things, I lingered outside for a moment. It was the sound of solid objects hitting other solid objects that had attracted my attention, and so I decided to go in search of the source of the sound, as it seemed to be coming from Marge and Tex’s garden.

Cats may not have a reputation as guardians of their humans’ property, but I beg to differ. I like to keep an eye on things as much as I can, and so it was with a sneaking suspicion that nefarious activities were underway that I stealthily snuck into the next garden and glanced around, keeping low and as much out of sight as a big-boned blorange cat can.

I saw nothing out of the ordinary, though, but then I heard it again: a loud clacking sound, as if someone was hitting a brick against a second brick.

So I snuck in the direction of Ted and Marcie’s backyard, and took a peek through the hole in the fence that has served us so well in the past. And that’s when I saw it: someone was chucking garden gnomes over the back fence into the Trappers’ garden, all of them falling on top of a growing pile of gnomes!

“What the…” I muttered as I sat stunned, looking at this strange phenomenon.

I couldn’t see who the culprit was, as he or she was hidden on the other side of the green plastic screen Ted has erected to lend himself and his family a measure of privacy. On the other side is the same field that stretches along all of our backyards, and which is easily accessed by anyone who knows how to climb a fence, which the owner of the field once erected to keep his sheep, who he likes to put to graze there, from running off.

Tack! One more gnome hit the pile, and in the process lost part of his pointy hat.

I don’t like gnomes as a rule, but I felt distinctly sorry for the droll little tykes now. This was no way to treat these oddly shaped and extravagantly colored creatures.

Suddenly, from the house, a cry rang out. “Oi!” It was Ted, who must have observed the same phenomenon and now came hurrying out of the house.

Immediately there was a rustle on the other side of the fence, and a loud giggle, and the supply of gnomes tumbling to earth instantly dried up.

“What do you think you’re doing!” Ted yelled, shaking his fist.

But before he had reached the back of the garden and could peek over the fence, Tex’s loud voice behind me yelled, “Gotcha!”

“Tex!” Ted said, taken aback. “Look what they did. They’re throwing gnomes now!”

“Horse manure, Ted. Admit it, man. You’ve been out stealing again.”

“What?!”

“You are an inveterate thief, Ted! I recognize that big fat one over there. I’ll eat my shirt if it doesn’t belong to Kinnard Daym. Pride of his collection.”

“But I—”

“You stole it—finally admit it, you thief!”

“I didn’t steal a thing, Tex. You have to believe me!”

“Oh, so now you’re saying it’s raining gnomes, is it? They’re simply falling from the sky like so much manna from heaven?”

“Over the fence,” said Ted, looking and sounding highly discombobulated. “They came flying… over the fence.”

“A likely story. I’m reporting you to the police, Ted. That’s right. I wanted to cut you some slack. Hoping you’d break the habit. But obviously that’s not happening. So this time you’re going down, my friend.” He put his phone to his ear. “Hello, Dolores, Yes, I’d like to report a gnome thief. Yes, a thief of gnomes.” He listened for a moment, his brow creased. “No, that’s not the new Kevin Costner movie. It’s my next-door-neighbor Ted.”