Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Advice. Purrfect Passion. A Purrfect Gnomeful

“Don’t waste your breath, honey,” said Gran as she morosely stared at Alex Trebek. “Can’t you see her mind is made up? My favorite granddaughter has decided to stab her nearest and dearest in the back, all for the chance of becoming a star.”

“Gran, it’s not like that,” said Odelia.

“Oh, no?” The old lady pointed a bony finger in her granddaughter’s direction. “The moment you’re selected for Passion Island you cruelly ditch your sickly old grandmother and your two favorite cats. You know what I call that? Diva behavior. You’re not the same person you once were, Odelia. Success has gone to your head. It’s made you hard. In fact, you know what?” She got up very swiftly for a sickly old lady, and made for the sliding glass door. “I don’t think I want to see you for a while. I’m going back to my own home. Alone. Without anyone to love me or care for me.” And with a stifled sob, she slowly closed the door, stared at Odelia for a few moments, then slumped her shoulders and slouched off.

“Maybe we can find a way to bring her along?” Odelia suggested now, her heart breaking at the sight of her gran.

“Don’t fall for it,” said Chase. “She’s just putting on an act.”

“You think so?”

“Sure.” Chase smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple. “I haven’t known your gran as long as you have, obviously, but even I can tell when she’s faking it.”

“Still…”

“She’s better off here. If what Kimmy suspects is true, the set of Passion Island is the last place she should be. That place is dangerous.”

Odelia nodded and put placemats on the table.

“Besides, I’ll bet she’ll be back here in five minutes.”

“She will?”

“Sure. The woman loves my spaghetti.”

That night, Odelia talked to her parents on Skype. She was happy to see how well they looked.

“Thailand?” asked her dad. “Are you sure, honey? I’ve heard terrible stories about those reality shows. And participants disappearing? That doesn’t sound like the thing you should get involved in.”

“Kimmy doesn’t have anywhere else to turn, Dad,” she said. “And I’m sure the set will be a safe place. The participants only disappeared once the show was already taped.”

“I love Passion Island,” said her mother, not surprisingly. “In fact I’ve asked your grandmother to record the reruns. I hope she hasn’t forgotten.”

“Oh, I doubt it,” said Dad. “Not now that her granddaughter will be one of the participants.” He smiled broadly. In spite of his qualms, he was clearly proud of his daughter. “And you’re telling me Chase will also be there?”

“Yeah, we’re going as a couple.”

“And the idea is…”

“Oh, Tex,” said Mom, giving her husband a light slap on the shoulder. “I’ve told you a million times how it works. Four couples go to Thailand, then are separated. The men on one island and the women on another. Six seducers then try to seduce the women, and six seductresses try to seduce the men. The couple that manages to stay together, wins.”

“But why?” asked Tex. “What’s the point?”

“It’s a reality show!” said Odelia laughingly. “Does there really have to be a point?”

Dad was shaking his head. “So six men are going to try and seduce you?”

“Yeah, and six of the most gorgeous women are going to try and seduce Chase.” As she spoke the words, Dan’s reservations echoed in her ears. She decided to ignore them.

“I don’t know, honey. Still sounds like a bad idea if you ask me,” said Dad.

“What sounds like a bad idea, Dad?” asked Chase, pulling up a chair.

Dad winced. Lately Chase had started calling him ‘Dad’ and for some reason it grated on the good doctor. “So, um, how is Denby doing?” he asked, abruptly changing the topic.

“Oh, he’s fine,” said Odelia. “I dropped by this afternoon and he said he’s never been busier. He didn’t know Hampton Cove had so many sick people.”

“Sick women, you mean,” said Chase. “Since he took over for Dad the number of women has multiplied, and I don’t think it’s because they’ve all suddenly developed some life-threatening disease, either.” He laughed. “He’s one handsome devil, that Denby, Dad. Aren’t you worried he’ll take over your office and settle down permanently?”

“Denby would never do that,” said Dad stoically. “So, Chase, how do you feel about this whole Passion Island gag?”

Chase suddenly turned serious. Odelia had often noticed that her fiancé had two faces: his regular, laidback demeanor, and his cop face, which he pulled when he talked shop. As if some inner switch was flipped and his well-honed police instincts took over. “I think the whole thing stinks,” he said now. “Five women disappearing and the producers don’t even want to investigate? Something is pretty rotten, Dad.”

“Please,” said Dad, in a slightly strangled voice. “Just… call me Tex?”

“But why, Dad? We’re family now.”

“Just… humor me, will you?”

Chase shrugged, but Odelia could tell he wasn’t happy about it. “Sure… Tex.”

Abruptly the tall cop got up and stalked off.

“Where did he go?” asked Dad, surprised.

“Where do you think? You just told him not to call you dad,” said Odelia.

“How could you, Tex?” said Mom. “Chase loves you and you had to go and break his heart.”

“I didn’t break his heart! I just don’t like it when people call me dad that aren’t my flesh and blood.”

“Tex!”

“What?!”

“Yeah, Dad, that wasn’t very nice of you,” said Odelia.

“It sounds weird!”

“Well, get used to it, cause Chase is going to be in our lives a lot from now on,” said Mom.

“Oh, all right. He can call me dad. Happy now?”

“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, Tex,” said Mom.

“I mean it! I do!”

“Then you better tell Chase. And apologize.”

“Chase!” Odelia called out. “Dad wants to tell you something!”

Chase came ambling up, hands stuffed into his pockets, his face a thundercloud. “What?” he asked sullenly as he reluctantly sat down again, then studied his fingernails.

“Chase, son,” said Dad, “I’m sorry about before. I want you to call me dad from now on.”

“I thought you wanted me to call you Tex?” Chase grumbled.

“Well, I’d love it if you called me dad,” said Dad. “Absolutely love it.” He winced a little, then said, “I was worried you wouldn’t want to. And I didn’t want you to feel obligated.”

Chase’s face lit up. “I don’t mind. In fact I love it. Dad.”

Dad grimaced, then managed an ingratiating smile. “That’s the spirit. Son.”

“We’re one big happy family,” said Mom. “And that’s just the way we like it.”

“One big happy family but I’m not included,” Gran muttered as she walked by on her way to the stairs.

“Ma!” mom yelled, but Gran ignored her. “What did she say just now?”

“Oh, she’s mad because she doesn’t get to go to Thailand,” Odelia explained.

“She’ll get over it,” Mom said. “Now there’s one thing I want to tell Chase before we sign off. Whatever happens in Thailand—“

“Stays in Thailand,” Dad said with a grin, earning himself another slap from Mom.

“Whatever happens, Chase, remember one thing.”

Odelia smiled as she fully expected her mother to tell Chase that his future wife loved him, and that no seductresses could ever come between him and true love.

Instead, Mom said: “There are infrared cameras in the bedrooms capturing your every move. In fact they’ve got cameras hooked up all over the island.”

“Oh-kay,” said Chase, a little startled.