Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Advice. Purrfect Passion. A Purrfect Gnomeful

Harriet nodded solemnly. She’d wanted to atone for her nasty Chloe letters to Max and Dooley by getting rid of the mice for them, but it was dawning on her that this was not going to happen. She’d have to figure out another way.

“Thanks, Clarice,” she said finally. “Thanks for all your advice. And you know you always have a home with us, and food if you want it, right?”

Clarice softened. “Yeah, I know. But I like it out here. I like the freedom, and I like the hunt, too. Not much fun hunting a bowl of kibble, if you know what I mean.”

She didn’t, but said she did. And then they were off, before Clarice gobbled down another humongous rat and caused Harriet to throw up her breakfast.

And as they walked out of the alley, Brutus said, “Looks like we’re on our own, baby cakes.”

“Yeah, looks like.”

“You feel bad about calling Max obnoxious and Dooley a dummy, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do,” she confessed. “I shouldn’t have written that, and I can’t even take it back without revealing that I’m Chloe.” She sighed. “Oh, Brutus, why does my temper always get the better of me?”

“Actually it’s what I like about you, sugar lump. Your passion.”

She smiled. “Only you could turn a negative into a positive like that, honey bear.”

“You could always issue a retraction,” he suggested.

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You could say that you mixed up the questions, and then you could post the real answers to Max and Dooley’s questions this time. I’ll bet they’d be over the moon.”

“Brutus, but that’s genius!”

“Oh, well,” he said modestly. “I get these brainwaves, you know.”

“Let’s go and see Odelia right now. I’ll dictate two new responses and make Max and Dooley happy again.”

“What will you tell them?”

She smiled. “Oh, I know exactly what I’ll tell them.”

Chapter 25

Odelia was hard at work in her office when Harriet came traipsing in, followed by Brutus.

“Hey, you guys,” said Odelia. “So nice to see you.”

“Odelia, I have a confession to make,” said Harriet.

“Oh?” Both cats jumped up onto her desk, and Harriet perched herself on the corner, her tail nicely draped around herself. Odelia, in spite of her long association with cats, still admired their gracefulness and poise and she did so now.

“Max and Dooley asked me a question. Well, actually they asked Chloe a question, and I feel like I let them down with my response.”

“I wondered about that,” Odelia confessed. “If I remember correctly you called Max obnoxious and Dooley dumb, right?”

“I know,” said Harriet ruefully, “and I regret it now. I misinterpreted their questions and wanted to teach them a lesson. Only I was wrong and I want to make things right again. So could you maybe put a new response on the website and add a disclaimer?”

“Something along the lines of ‘There was a mix-up and the wrong answers were posted with the wrong questions,’” said Brutus.

“Please, please, please?” asked Harriet, giving her a pleading look.

“Okay, sure,” said Odelia, and opened a new window on her computer. “So what do you want me to write this time?” And as she listened to Harriet’s response, she smiled. It sounded a lot better than the earlier one, she had to admit. When they were done, she posted the copy online and announced to a happy Harriet that her mission had been a success. “Your column is doing very well,” she added. “It’s getting even more clicks and shares than Gabi’s.”

“Are you ever going to tell us who this Gabi person is, Odelia?” asked Harriet.

“I would if I knew. But Dan is keeping her identity under wraps.”

“Too bad. I think she’s the best.”

“Uh-huh,” said Odelia, who didn’t agree. Gabi’s responses to herself and the rest of her family had all been a little one-sided, all of them revolving around the topic of Uncle Alec’s non-existent ambitions to become Hampton Cove’s next mayor. If she didn’t know any better it was almost as if her grandmother was holding Gabi’s pen, but of course that was impossible, as Dan would never give such an important job to a person as notoriously querulous and belligerent as her grandmother. Plus, Gabi worked really hard. Dozens and dozens of questions came in every day, and she dutifully answered every single one of them, with only the best ones making it to the site, the rest delivered to the person’s inbox. So whoever this Gabi was, she had a full-time job with her advice column, something which she couldn’t see Gran accomplish, on top of her work for Dad and now her sleuthing efforts, too.

Just then, the door to the outer office opened and… Gran walked in, accompanied by Scarlett. They made a beeline for Dan’s office but, when they spotted Odelia watching them, immediately halted in their tracks, then made for her office instead.

“Oops,” said Gran. “Almost walked into the wrong office there.”

“Silly us,” said Scarlett with a grin.

“So what did you find out?” asked Odelia.

Dan’s door opened and he stuck his head out. “Oh, hi, Vesta. Scarlett.” And then promptly he retracted his head and was gone again.

“Well, it was just as Sandy said: the man was a first-class womanizer,” said Gran.

“Incredible stamina,” said Scarlett with a touch of admiration in her voice. “He bedded every single woman in that house. The maids, the cook, the housekeeper, the—”

“Yeah, yeah, you get the picture,” said Vesta. “So we talked to all of them, and nothing.”

“What do you mean, nothing?”

“You always told me that a true detective gets a tingle when she hits upon a valid clue, right? Well, I didn’t feel a single tingle at any point.”

“I didn’t feel a tingle either,” Scarlett said. “Not one teensy tiny tingle. Though I did have to tinkle at one point, but Vesta assured me that doesn’t count.”

“No, tinkles don’t count,” said Gran. “Only tingles.”

“So the cook, the maids, the housekeeper…”

“They all slept with the guy at some point or another, but none of them held any particular grudge against the man. They all knew what they were getting into, and they even turned it into a game. After he’d slept with one of the maids, she told the rest of the household, and so they wondered how long it would take before he got started on them.”

“It didn’t take long,” Scarlett revealed.

“No, it didn’t take long at all. So they made a list of all of the staff and then put a green checkmark next to the name when Kirk had offered them his services. It was like a game to them, and they all admitted they liked him well enough. He was handsome and charming, but not exactly the kind of guy they’d swoon over or lose their hearts to.”

“So no jealousy or other emotion powerful enough to kill the guy over,” said Odelia.

“Nothing of the kind. He had fun with them, they had fun with him, and that’s it.”

“And what about Allison?”

“What about her?”

“Well, did they think she was lying when she told me she didn’t do it?”

“No, they don’t think she’s capable of murder.”

“They like her,” said Scarlett. “They think she’s a great boss. Very nice and even-tempered and reasonable. She even paid them extra when they had to work overtime on account of the fact that Kirk came to stay.”

“And then of course Kirk paid them in kind,” said Vesta acerbically.

Scarlett laughed at this.” Vesta, you’re so funny.”

“Thanks,” said Gran with a smile. “So what do you want us to do next?”

“I don’t know,” said Odelia, thinking. She felt like the owner of a private detective agency, instructing her operatives in the field. “What did Max and Dooley find out?”