Robert Crais - Lullaby Town

Peter rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling. "Hey, am I being an asshole here or what?" Getting loud.

Karen said, "Watch your language in front of my son." They were starting to shout.

Peter gestured wide with the arms the way he had when I'd first seen him, reading the riot act because a couple of executives had been trying to fob off a TV guy on him. "Hey, Karen, a mobster was here with our son . Do you remember that?"

Karen pushed up out of the chair and made a shooing gesture to Toby. "Toby, I want you to go to your room."

Peter said, "Lemme take the kid back to L.A. He'll be safer there than here. You think I won't bring'm back?"

Pike stuck his fingers in his ears.

I said, "Peter, maybe now isn't the time to talk about it."

Peter whirled around and glared at me. "I'm Peter Alan Nelsen and I'm tired of fooling around." He wheeled back toward Karen. "If you played it smart, I could set you up. You wouldn't have to worry about a thing and you could do whatever you want. You could even be an actress again. I'm Peter Alan Nelsen, and I could make you a star." Like she was still nineteen and always would be.

Karen Lloyd put her hands on her hips and laughed at him. "You arrogant asshole."

Toby started crying and yelled, "Why won't you let me go with him? Why are you being like this? You're gonna make him go away and I hate you!" He ran down the hall and slammed his door.

Pike still had his fingers in his ears.

Peter was giving us confused and frustrated, as if he were trying to explain that two plus one equals three and Karen just couldn't get it, and the frustration was giving way to suspicion, like maybe she got it but was pretending she didn't because something was going on. He squinted at me, then back at her, and then he nodded and made an oh-I-get-it smile and said, "You're fucking this guy."

Karen Lloyd slapped him. It was a hard, quick shot that took him off guard and backed him up. I stepped in between them, taking his wrists and keeping his hands at his sides and pushing him backward. Karen yelled, "You piece of shit. You rotten piece of shit. Why'd you have to come back? Why couldn't you leave us alone?"

Peter jerked away from me and threw a punch that seemed to float down from heaven. I stepped outside of it, then stepped back in very close and pushed him up against the door and told him to relax. He tried to bite me and then he tried to butt me with his head, and when he did, I punched him once in the stomach. He made an urp- ing sound and went down onto his hands and knees and threw up on Karen Lloyd's beautiful bleached-oak floor. I hadn't wanted to hit him, and I was glad the boy wasn't there to see it.

Peter stayed on all fours, head hanging down, and made little burping noises. "I'm sick."

Pike said, "Take deep breaths."

Karen stood by the mantel, holding herself. Pike went into the kitchen and came back with a roll of Scot towels.

Peter took the deep breaths, then staggered to his feet and shook his finger at me. "Goddamnit, you're fired. You're off the fucking payroll. I'm gonna make sure you never work again."

I said, "Clichéd, Peter. I expected more originality from the King of Adventure."

Peter burped some more and then he lurched out the front door. In a minute the limo pulled away and Pike held out his hand. "I'd better make sure he gets home."

I tossed Pike the keys and he left.

Karen Lloyd and I stood without moving in the now quiet house, and I said, "Peter's idea was good."

She shook her head.

"It's smart to get the boy out of the picture. It's smart if Peter's gone, too. It would give you more room."

She shook her head again. "If he wanted to help, he could just leave. He doesn't need Toby. This is just more of the same old Peter Alan Nelsen bullshit. Peter wanting everything his way."

"Karen," I said, "think about it. They've threatened your life. They made a move on your son. Falling behind in history doesn't rate with getting him out of here. Do you see?"

She made a little blowing move with her mouth and then she crossed her arms and sat on the edge of the hearth, leaning forward so that her elbows touched her knees. She gave me a short glance, and then she looked at the floor, and then she uncrossed her arms and put a hand on either side of her head and squeezed, like maybe she was trying to keep her head from bursting. She said, "I'm not crazy. I am not crazy. I'm not crazy ."

"Nope," I said. "You're scared, but it isn't Charlie DeLuca who scares you, though it should be."

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "I'm too tired to argue."

I said, "This is your house. You bought the couch and the table and the wood in the fireplace. You secured the loan for your car. You buy Toby's clothes, and you've made a good life."

She shook her head some more.

"But now comes Peter, and you're scared that it won't be yours anymore. You'll be the woman who was married to Peter Alan Nelsen, and Toby will be Peter's son."

She stopped shaking her head.

"You're scared of losing yourself."

Two tears squeezed out of the inside corners of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. "You sonofabitch." She might've been talking to me, but maybe not.

I said, "Don't think about Peter. Think about Charlie. Charlie is who you have to focus on. Charlie can hurt you and Toby a lot worse than Peter."

She brought one hand up and rubbed at the tears but still did not open her eyes. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No."

"It sounds so stupid, worried about losing myself. It sounds weak and silly, like something one of those idiot Cosmo feminists would whine about. I don't want to be weak. I don't want to be stupid."

I made a shrug. "Pride isn't male or female. It's human."

"I'm a vice-president at the bank. I have a real estate license and I am a certified financial planner and I've been president of the PTA twice and vice-president of the local Rotary." The tears were coming harder.

"Uh-huh."

"I have a B.A. in finance. I am Toby Lloyd's mother. I will not lose those things."

"No. You won't."

"I will not lose who I am."

"I won't let you."

She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Saving selves is one of my best things."

She rubbed at the tears again and then she put her face in her hands and sat very still. I guess she wasn't convinced.

I used the Scot towels on the floor, then put them in a white plastic trash bag and took the bag out and put it into a blue garbage can in the garage. It seemed twenty degrees colder than it had been at dusk, and the north wind rattled tree limbs and dead leaves and pushed dark shapes across the lawn. Thunder rumbled many miles to the east, a winter storm moving with the front. When I went back inside, Karen Lloyd had gone to bed.

I turned off most of the lights and went down the hall to the room where Joe Pike and I were bedding. Karen Lloyd's room was at the end of the hall in the back of the house, and Toby's room was across from Karen's, in the front. Both of their doors were closed, but I could hear them crying, she in her room and he in his. I felt a very great urge to knock and say the word or make the touch that would make them feel better. I went into my own room and I closed the door.

You do what you can, but you can't do everything.

When I woke the next morning, the sky was dark with clouds and the air was as cold as the edge of a hunting knife. The snow above us waiting to fall was a physical thing, heavy and damp and alive with turbulence.

Toby was sullen and Karen was unhappy and nobody said very much as we went through the house and prepared for the day. Karen drove into the office early and I took Toby to school. Pike stayed at the house, waiting for Roland George to call. Neither Toby nor I spoke on the way to school, but when I dropped him off I told him to have a good day. He didn't answer. It was as if the bad feelings and restless, logy sleep had carried over into wakefulness.