Michael Buckley - The Unusual Suspects

"I'm going home myself," the guidance counselor said.

Sabrina couldn't see what was going on, but she could hear the women packing their things and leaving. Sheepshank followed them out and closed the door.

After several minutes, Sabrina realized that the entire school was empty. All she could do now was wait, so she walked over to the desk of one of the secretaries and lay down under her big chair. The room was warm and comfy and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep.

Sabrina woke up inside Elvis's nose. Granny and Mr. Canis had used the big dog's excellent sniffer to track the tiny girl down, and when Elvis found her asleep under the chair, he accidentally inhaled her. With her head now covered in dog boogers and mucus, she kicked for freedom, but this only caused the dog to snort deeply, and Sabrina rocketed into his nasal cavity, slid down his throat, and was coughed out onto the floor.

When Sabrina got to her feet, Granny Relda was already standing next to her, holding two Eat Me cakes in her hand. She was as tiny as her granddaughter, but the anger on her face was as big as the moon. Her round face and button nose were so red with frustration Sabrina wondered if smoke might blow out of her ears.

"Granny, you won't believe what I found out," Sabrina said, hoping her news would change the old woman's mood.

"I agree, Sabrina," Granny Relda snapped. "I doubt I'll be believing anything you say for a very long time."

She handed the girl an Eat Me cake and quickly unwrapped her own. She took a big bite and began to grow. Sabrina ate her cake and felt her body sprout up, as well. Unfortunately, Elvis's boogers grew at the same rate and when she reached her normal size, even the Great Dane looked disgusted at the goo that covered her from head to toe.

Daphne, who was standing nearby, ran to hug her sister but halted when she saw the disgusting mess that covered Sabrina. "I'm sorry. I love you but you are way, way too gross," the little girl said.

"We got into the boiler room," Sabrina said, still hoping to impress her grandmother.

"She knows," Puck said sheepishly. He and Wendell leaned against the wall, looking guilty. Why wasn't everyone excited? They had found an important clue to the mystery.

"I also know you did it by breaking almost every one of my rules," Granny lectured. "Mirror says you have a set of keys for nearly three dozen of the rooms in the Hall of Wonders."

"I've been making copies," Sabrina said, lowering her eyes to the ground.

"How sneaky of you," Granny said. "I suppose you are proud of yourself?"

Sabrina knew it was not the right time to brag.

"You told us that this was our job," she argued. "Daphne and I didn't come banging on your door hoping that we'd get chased by giants and evil rabbits. Now that we're actually trying to take on this destiny of ours, you want us to stop."

"Sneaking around behind my back, defying my requests to stay out of this case, stealing and copying my keys, testing out magic and potions in the middle of the night, and dragging your sister into danger," said Granny. "Add that to your attitude about Everafters and I just don't see you as much of a help right now."

Sabrina's eyes welled with tears, but she refused to cry. She bit her lip hard and squeezed her fists tight. The last thing she would do was show the old woman that her words had stung.

Dinnertime was a quiet affair. No one talked, no one made eye contact, and no one smiled. Even Puck, who could usually be counted on to fart during dinner, was oddly quiet. When everyone had eaten, Granny quietly washed the dishes while Puck, Sabrina, and Daphne stared at one another from across the table. Elvis eyed Sabrina from time to time, but didn't seem to want to go near her after she had been inside his nose.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Granny Relda stopped washing the dishes and rushed to open it. Snow White was standing outside in the cold. The old woman quickly invited her inside.

"Thank you so much for coming, Snow," she said as she took off her apron and folded it.

"I'm happy to help! Any chance to spend some time with my favorite student," the teacher said.

"That's me!" Daphne cried as she rushed to the door.

"Mr. Canis will be coming with me, and the sheriff is on his way now," Granny said. "The children have eaten, but feel free to raid the refrigerator. Hopefully, we won't be gone too long."

Just then, a car-horn blast came from outside.

"That's Hamstead," Mr. Canis said as he opened the closet and took out his and Granny Relda's coats.

"What's going on?" Sabrina asked.

"We're going to go and put a stop to what's going on under the school," Granny Relda replied. "While we're gone, Ms. White will be looking after you."

"You got us a baby-sitter?" Sabrina cried indignantly. "I'm too old for a baby-sitter."

"You'retoo old?" Puck said to her. "I'm over four thousand years old. This is an outrage!"

"I might have thought the same thing this morning," Granny replied as she put on her coat.

"Weshould go," Sabrina steamed. "We've seen the tunnels. We know how to get down into them."

There was another knock at the door. When Mr. Canis opened it, Wendell Hamelin stepped inside.

"Oh, we've got a guide," Granny replied.

"The sheriff says we better get going," the boy said, wiping his runny nose on his handkerchief. He looked more sad than excited about this latest detective assignment.

"Honey, you don't have to do this," Granny said. "This is your father we're going to arrest."

"Maybe I can convince him to stop before anyone else gets hurt," Wendell said. "He's my dad. I have to try."

Granny Relda, Mr. Canis, and Wendell, looking apologetically at the other three children, said their good-byes and were soon gone, leaving Sabrina standing by the door with a stunned expression.

"Well now," Snow White said uncomfortably, reaching into her handbag and pulling out a board game. "Who wants to play Candy Land?"

Snow White did her best to keep the kids busy. She set up the board game, but Puck had no patience for it. When he landed on Molasses Swamp and lost a turn, he flew into a rage, flinging the board out the front door and into the yard. Later, after he had calmed down, Ms. White suggested they play charades. Once again, Puck was the spoiler, acting out the names of tree gnomes and pixies that had lived three hundred years ago and insisting they were as famous as any astronaut or president. Eventually, even Snow White gave up and let the children do what they really wanted to do-research.

The girls searched the library for titles that might be of help. With half their family traipsing around in some dark tunnels, Sabrina and Daphne felt the least they could do was make sure that nothing had been overlooked. Sabrina eventually came across her great aunt Matilda's pamphlet entitled Rumpelstiltskin's Secret Nature.She could see it was going to be a dry read, so she fell into a chair and started on page one.

Rumpelstiltskin's story was a famous fairy tale; everyone had heard it, but Sabrina wasn't taking any chances with what she thought she knew. Dad's attitude about fairy tales had left the girls at a disadvantage, and she wanted to know the story inside and out. But even she was shocked to see how much information Matilda had collected about the little creature. It looked as if months of work had gone into the analysis of every single nuance of his personality, powers, and actions. Her ancestor even had theories on how Rumpelstiltskin spun wheat into gold, where he had come from, and why he tried to trick people out of their children.

Matilda's book also recounted at least two dozen versions of the original tale. The story Sabrina had always heard involved a woman who begged Rumpelstiltskin for his help. In exchange, she promised to give him her first-born child. When the baby finally arrived, the woman demanded a chance to keep it, so Rumpelstiltskin wagered that she would never be able to guess his real name. Of course, by the end of the story, she had figured it out and got to keep her kid, making the little man so angry he actually ripped himself in two. But Matilda said there was an alternate version of the ending that not many people knew. In the other ending, Rumpelstiltskin didn't rip himself in half-he actually blew up like a bomb, killing everyone within a mile.