Alexander McCall Smith - Tears of the Giraffe

With such a background, it is not surprising that my father should have taught his sons to be honest and to tell the truth always. So I did not hesitate to bring these dishonest employees to justice and my employers were very pleased.

"You have stopped these wicked people from stealing the meat of Botswana," they said. "Our eyes cannot see what our employees are doing. Your eyes have helped us."

I did not expect a reward, but I was promoted. And in my new job, which was in the headquarters office, I found more

meat, This time in a more indirect and clever way, but it was still stealing meat. So I wrote a letter to the General Manager and said: "Here is how you are losing meat, right under your noses, in the general office." And at the end I put the names, all in alphabetical order, and signed the letter and sent it off.

They were very pleased, and, as a result, they promoted me even further. By now, anybody who was dishonest had been frightened into leaving the company, and so there was no more work of that sort for me to do. But I still did well, and eventually I had saved enough money to buy my own butchery. I received a large cheque from the company, which was sorry to see me go, and I set up my butchery just outside Gaborone. You may have seen it on the road to Lobatse. It is called Honest Deal Butchery.

My butchery does quite well, but I do not have a lot of money to spare. The reason for this is my wife. She is a fashionable lady, who likes smart clothes and who does not like to work too much herself. I do not mind her not working, but it upsets me to see her spend so much money on braiding her hair and having new dresses made by the Indian tailor. I am not a smart man, but she is a very smart lady.

For many years after we got married there were no children. But then she became pregnant and we had a son. I was very proud, and my only sadness was that my father was not still alive so that he could see his fine new grandson.

My son is not very clever. We sent him to the primary school near our house and we kept getting reports saying that he had to try harder and that his handwriting was very untidy and full of mistakes. My wife said that he would have to be sent to a

private school, where they would have better teachers and where they would force him to write more neatly, but I was worried that we could not afford that.

When I said that, she became very cross. "If you cannot pay for it," she said, "then I will go to a charity I know and get them to pay the fees."

"There are no such charities," I said. "If there were, then they would be inundated. Everyone wants his child to go to a private school. They would have every parent in Botswana lining up for help. It is impossible."

"Oh it is, is it?" she said. "I shall speak to this charity tomorrow, and you will see. You just wait and see."

She went off to town the next day and when she came back she said it had all been arranged. "The charity will pay all his school fees to go to Thornhill. He can start next term."

I was astonished. Thornhill, as you know, Bomma, is a very good school and the thought of my son going there was very exciting. But I could not imagine how my wife had managed to persuade a charity to pay for it, and when I asked her for the details so that I could write to them and thank them she replied that it was a secret charity.

"There are some charities which do not want to shout out their good deeds from the rooftops," she said. "They have asked me to tell nobody about this. But if you wish to thank them, you can write a letter, which I will deliver to them on your behalf."

I wrote this letter, but got no reply.

"They are far too busy to be writing to every parent they help," said my wife. "I don't see what you're complaining about. They're paying the fees, aren't they? Stop bothering them with all these letters."

There had only been one letter, but my wife always exaggerates things, at least when it concerns me. She accuses me of eating "hundreds of pumpkins, all the time," when I eat fewer pumpkins than she does. She says that I make more noise than an aeroplane when I snore, which is not true. She says that I am always spending money on my lazy nephew and sending him thousands of pula every year. In fact, I only give him one hundred pula on his birthday and one hundred pula for his Christmas box. Where she gets this figure of thousands of pula, I don't know. I also don't know where she gets all the money for her fashionable life. She tells me that she saves it, by being careful in the house, but I cannot see how it adds up. I will talk to you a little bit later about that.

But you must not misunderstand me, ladies. I am not one of these husbands who does not like his wife. I am very happy with my wife. Every day I reflect on how happy I am to be married to a fashionable lady-a lady who makes people look at her in the street. Many butchers are married to women who do not look very glamorous, but I am not one of those butchers. I am the butcher with the very glamorous wife, and that makes me proud.

I AM also proud of my son. When he went to Thornhill he was behind in all his subjects and I was worried that they would put him down a year. But when I spoke to the teacher, she said that I should not worry about this, as the boy was very bright and would soon catch up. She said that bright children could always manage to get over earlier difficulties if they made up their mind to work.

My son liked the school. He was soon scoring top marks in

mathematics and his handwriting improved so much that you would think it was a different boy writing. He wrote an essay which I have kept, "The Causes of Soil Erosion in Botswana," and one day I shall show that to you, if you wish. It is a very beautiful piece of work and I think that if he carries on like this, he will one day become Minister of Mines or maybe Minister of Water Resources. And to think that he will get there as the grandson of a High Court orderly and the son of an ordinary butcher.

You must be thinking: What has this man got to complain about? He has a fashionable wife and a clever son. He has got a butchery of his own. Why complain? And I understand why one might think that, but that does not make me any more unhappy. Every night I wake up and think the same thought. Every day when I come back from work and find that my wife is not yet home, and I wait until ten or eleven o'clock before she returns, the anxiety gnaws away at my stomach like a hungry animal. Because, you see, Bomma, the truth of the matter is that I think my wife is seeing another man. I know that there are many husbands who say that, and they are imagining things, and I hope that I am just the same-just imagining-but I cannot have any peace until I know whether what I fear is true.

WHEN MR Letsenyane Badule eventually left, driving off in his rather battered Mercedes-Benz, Mma Ramotswe looked at Mma Makutsi and smiled.

"Very simple," she said. "I think this is a very simple case, Mma Makutsi. You should be able to handle this case yourself with no trouble."

Mma Makutsi went back to her own desk, smoothing out the fabric of her smart blue dress. "Thank you, Mma. I shall do my best."

Mma Ramotswe nodded. "Yes," she went on. "A simple case of a man with a bored wife. It is a very old story. I read in a magazine that it is the sort of story that French people like to read. There is a story about a French lady called Mma Bovary, who was just like this, a very famous story. She was a lady who lived in the country and who did not like to be married to the same, dull man."

"It is better to be married to a dull man," said Mma Makutsi. "This Mma Bovary was very foolish. Dull men are very good husbands. They are always loyal and they never run away with other women. You are very lucky to be engaged to a..."