Scott Turow - Personal injuries

I have mused now and then on the ubiquitousness of men's rooms in public corruption prosecutions. From the time I entered the so-called white-collar practice, where bribery cases are a staple, there was at least one case a year where some matter of consequence took place in the john. Why two fellows would choose to pass cash as they stand at the urinal has continued to puzzle me. Because they have only one free hand and no one can reach for a gun? Because they are, so to speak, exposed? Because all know this is truly dirty business? There must be something deeply symbolic. Whatever the reason, it happens with sufficient frequency that a bribe case which is largely hopeless for the defendant is routinely shorthanded as `folding money in the men's room.' Jurors are inevitably unwilling to believe the parties were up to anything good.

So at 11:30 a.m. on Thursday, March 18, Robbie was wired and marched off to Blackstone. He had gone to law school there and, if need be, would explain his presence as related to alumni activity. Evon was along as a witness, again to corroborate that Malatesta was the only other person to have gone in and out of the facility and, accordingly, that his was the other voice on the recording.

Feaver came to a standstill as they entered Blackstone's Gothic front hall. There were fusty odors of floor wax and deteriorating plumbing, and he surveyed the surroundings right up to the ribs of the buttressed arches. He hadn't been back, he told her, in years.

"Bad memories?"

"Sort of. I didn't care to run into the old dean. He'd have had heart failure if he knew I was actually practicing law."

"Why else did he think you went to law school?"

"Oh, he knew that's why I came. But by the time I left he'd caught my routine. He wouldn't have been my top reference for Bar Admissions." Robbie, as usual, was amused by his past antics.

In a moment, he'd entered the men's room, where the plan called for him to lock himself in a stall. Evon took a seat on an oak bench with a good view, and Alf, faintly whistling a Chopin polonaise, appeared less than a minute later with his bucket and his sign. He held the door half open as a successful inducement to get the one other occupant on his way.

At 12:05, Malatesta showed up in his overcoat, which, like all his clothing, seemed slightly too large. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Alf and his sign, but Klecker bestowed a bountiful wave and Malatesta entered, smiling in humble gratitude.

Outside with the earpiece, Evon could hear the stall door open and Robbie's shoes scraping on the tiles. The script called for him to place himself at one of the urinals. There was no mistaking the sound of his lowering fly. Malatesta arrived beside Robbie, quietly humming some musical theme, perhaps the one he'd overheard from Alf.

"Judge, hey," Robbie said. "Robbie Feaver."

"Oh yes, Mr. Feaver. Nice to see you. Very nice to see you.

Robbie apologized for not offering his hand. A laugh, somewhat stillborn, emerged from Malatesta, who was predictably shy of bathroom humor. Robbie asked what brought the judge around and Malatesta offered a thumbnail of the cases he was teaching today on assumption of risk.

That Ettlinger," Robbie said. "That's a half-ass decision.”

"Well, it's somewhat more interesting than that," said Malatesta.

"I mean for a plaintiff. It's bad."

"Well, yes," said the judge. The cloacal waterfall roared. Feaver had been instructed by Kiecker not to attempt anything of significance before then, the apparent lesson of sad prior experience with this environment. Now Robbie's voice dropped.

"Say, Judge," Robbie said, "that Petros case. Thanks. Okay? That was a great ruling. We got a terrific settlement."

There ensued a silence of frightening length. Malatesta, Robbie later reported, was plainly startled. He reached up to touch the black temple of his glasses. Given Silvio's caution and the limited chances for success, the scenario did not call for Robbie to make any brash declarations. He was to cut things short at once if Malatesta veered toward anything overtly defensive. From Feaver's stillness it was plain to Evon he was already afraid he'd overstepped. She heard him padding along and water running in the sink. Afterwards, over the wrinkling of a paper towel, Malatesta unexpectedly spoke.

"I really should thank you, Mr. Feaver." This time Robbie lost a beat.

"That's okay, Judge. My pleasure. Really. I've got a lot Df respect for you, Judge. I just want you to know that I appreciate what you do."

"It showed, Robbie."

"I tried."

"Your papers were excellent. Excellent. Most lawyers, frankly, don't show that kind of respect for the court. I regret to say that not all are as resourceful. You were thoroughly researched. The lawyers in my court so seldom use an out-of-state or federal citation, especially one of any precedential currency. That was helpful to you. Very difficult issue, too. But you convinced me you had the stronger hand. No telling if the Appellate Court would have agreed. We'd both be holding our breaths. You know, out of law school, I clerked in the U.S. District Court for Judge Hamm and he always said to me, "The lawyers think they're getting reversed. They think they've lost. But it's my name on the opinion. I'm the one they say made a mistake."' Malatesta laughed mildly, recalling this wisdom. "He'd tell me I should be pleased to hear you settled."

Robbie, at a loss throughout the conversation, stumbled again. "Didn't you know?"

"Did I? Perhaps it slipped my mind." The revolving lid of a trash bin banged. "But I'm sure it was a good idea. Better that way for everyone. Right? Naturally. The parties want an outcome they can live with, not their names in a casebook. Of course, I'll always have a grain of curiosity about what the Appellate Court would have said. But I suppose we can just move on to the next one. We know, correct?" Malatesta coughed up another thin laugh and the scuffing of his shoes drifted farther away. "See you in court," Malatesta called. "I hope I find the next one as interesting."

"It will be."

When Evon saw Malatesta emerge, he seemed to be smiling. He had his overcoat folded over his arm and started into the large, tiered classroom. Two students greeted him with questions as he was on his way down.

"Jesus," Robbie said as soon as McManis stopped the FoxBlte, back in the office. "What a wacko! This guy is one bubble left of level. One minute he's right with me and then-" Robbie made a whooshing sound and shot his hand into space.

I had been summoned as soon as Feaver returned.

Klecker had finished the dupe, and fast-forwarded to the rest room encounter when Sennett arrived.

"Very clever," said Sennett after it was played. He was beaming. "Very clever. He got his message across. He said his thank-yous. I loved the line about your papers being excellent. The fifties and hundreds especially."

Several of the UCAs who'd crowded into the conference room chortled.

"And the federal currency," said Evon. Nobody else had caught that line and Alf rolled the recording back to play that part again. Robbie had moved a little and the words were somewhat obscured. But we all heard them now.

"What a fox," Sennett said. "I love the visitor-from-another-planet routine. But we've got him. I enjoyed the warning about steering clear of anything that can cause trouble in the Appellate Court." Stan avoided `I told you o,' but it bristled off him anyway.

McManis directed a look toward me. This was less than the clean head shot Stan imagined. Malatesta's defense lawyer would say it was no more than a discussion about i case. Why the wistfulness about the Appellate Court if Malatesta was acknowledging a bribe? And if he'd been paid off, he would have known the case had settled. But Stan had some evidence now, particularly if he could first get a jury to regard Malatesta as crazy-cautious. The sly remarks would take on shape then.