Джорджетт Хейер - Behold, Here's Poison

He looked frowningly back at her, a hint of uneasiness in his eyes. “As a medical man—”

“Medical fiddlesticks!” said Mrs Lupton. “I insist upon another's opinion being called in!”

A startled silence fell. It was broken by Mrs Matthews. Her voice jarred a little, though she still spoke in her dulcet way. “Dear Gertrude, you are upset, and no wonder. I am sure you don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.”

“I am unconcerned with anyone's sensibilities,” said Mrs Lupton. “I repeat, I insist upon a second opinion.”

“Perhaps,” said Dr Fielding, looking her in the eye, “you would like me to notify the Coroner of your brother's death?”

“Yes,” said Mrs Lupton. “That is precisely what I should like, Dr Fielding!”

No one spoke for a minute. The implication of Mrs Lupton's words could not be misunderstood, but it took time for her meaning to be fully realised. Everyone stared at her a little blankly, except the doctor, who stood looking down, still frowning, at the table's polished surface.

Harriet was the first to break into agitated speech. “You may just as well say at once that you think I poisoned him, and I'm astonished that you don't! And as for housekeeping, you may think you are much better at it than I am, but all I can say is I should be ashamed of the waste that goes on in your house! And if you think I gave Gregory duck on purpose to kill him there are the cutlets to prove I didn't!”

“No, there aren't,” said Stella unsteadily. “Eaten in the kitchen.”

Mrs Matthews took a cigarette-case out of her handbag, and with trembling fingers selected a cigarette, and lit it. “Stella! Please!”

Guy came forward a few paces. “Do you mean you want a p—post-mortem?” he demanded. “It's absolute rot! And I must say I should like to know what right you have to waltz in and interfere! Now uncle's dead I'm the head of this house, and—”

“No, my dear Guy, you are not,” said his aunt, quite unruffled. “I have little doubt that you would like to think yourself the head of the family, and I am well aware of the machinations of you and your mother to induce your uncle to name you his heir. What I am not aware of is that he ever did so. That being so it is my duty to remind you that the head of this family is now your cousin Randall.”

Guy flushed angrily. “Anyway, you're not the head, and you've no right—”

“If Randall is going to be dragged into this I shall remove myself at once,” said Stella disgustedly. “I can put up with a good deal, but not with Randall. What's more, if anyone poisoned uncle I should think it was he.”

“That,” said Mrs Lupton, “is a foolish remark which you will, I trust, regret having made once you have given yourself time to consider. I hold no brief for Randall. Far from it. But to accuse him of poisoning your uncle is absurd. Randall has not been down to Grinley Heath since last Sunday.”

“Are we not all of us a trifle overwrought?” interposed Mrs Matthews smoothly. “Surely no one seriously thinks that poor Gregory died from anything but the results of acute indigestion? If there were the slightest reason for suspecting foul play I should be the first to demand a thorough investigation. But I am sure no one can have wanted his death, and really, Gertrude, when one considers the unpleasantness of—of inquests, and things—”

“I hope I am not one to shrink from unpleasantness,” said Mrs Lupton. “And when you say that you are sure no one can have wanted Gregory's death I must beg to differ from you. Please understand that I make no accusations! But I am not ignorant of the dissensions in this household, and I cannot but see, painful though the thought may be, that his death benefits several people.”

Her husband entered unexpectedly into the discussion. He gave a little cough, and said nervously: “Really, my dear, I think we should be guided by what the doctor says. You don't want to start any sort of scandal, do you? You would very much dislike to be dragged into—er—that kind of publicity, you know.”

“Kindly permit me to know my own mind, Henry,” said Mrs Lupton freezingly. “You and I at least can have no reason to fear an investigation.”

Henry looked rather frightened, and said: “No, my dear, of course not, but hadn't we better think it over before we act?”

“Deryk, you don't think he was poisoned, do you?” asked Stella anxiously.

Fielding gave her a brief smile. “No, I don't. At the same time, if Mrs Lupton feels there is room for doubt I should naturally prefer that there should be a post-mortem examination.” He glanced at Mrs Lupton as he spoke, and added: “As far as I am concerned there is no objection to the matter being put into the hands of the Coroner.”

“Well, I think there's every objection!” said Guy angrily. “Everyone but Aunt Gertrude is perfectly satisfied with your diagnosis, and I utterly fail to see what point there is in having uncle cut up, and a lot of family linen washed in public! Of course he wasn't poisoned, but the instant we have an autopsy and an inquest people will start talking, and say there's no smoke without a fire, and life will be pure hell!”

“I must say, that is perfectly true,” agreed his mother. “And one cannot help wondering whether it is quite what poor Gregory would have liked.”

“It isn't,” said Miss Matthews positively. “He said he wasn't going to have anything more to do with doctors. And it isn't what I like either, though no one considers my feelings in this house, or ever has! I know what it will be. We shall all have to answer questions which have nothing to do with the case, and after all no one could possibly live with Gregory without quarrelling with him. And for my part I shall tell them quite frankly that it was Gertrude who always quarrelled most with him in the nursery, which is perfectly true, as poor Hubert and Arthur would bear me out if only they were alive to hear me!” This chance reference to her two deceased brothers caused her to burst into tears again. She brought out a large handkerchief from her pocket, and sniffed into it, saying: “If only I had a Man to turn to! But my brothers are all dead, and even Mr Rumbold's away, and you can put upon me as much as you choose!”

“Don't be ridiculous, Harriet!” commanded her sister. “No one suspects you of having anything to do with it.”

“That's what you say!” retorted Miss Matthews. “But I haven't the least doubt they'll bring it home to the duck, and not believe a word about the cutlets! And if they don't say it's the duck you may depend upon it they'll fix upon poor Guy, because his uncle was going to send him to South America, which was just like Gregory, and if Guy had killed him there would have been some excuse.

And so I shall tell them! Guy's the only one of you who has any affection for his poor old aunt, and it's my belief you're behaving like this out of pure spite, Gertrude!”

After delivering herself of this diatribe Miss Matthews was entirely overcome, and sobbed so gustily, and thrust her sister and sister-in-law away so violently that it fell to Guy and Stella to escort her up to her own room. Guy performed his share of this task without conveying any marked impression of fondness for his aunt, while Stella openly grimaced at Dr Fielding. She was obliged to remain with Miss Matthews until that afflicted lady had recovered some measure of composure, and by the time she was at liberty to go downstairs again Dr Fielding had left the house, and Mrs Matthews was bidding farewell to the Luptons in the porch.

Stella found her brother in the library, telephoning to Mr Nigel Brooke, with whom, a year ago, he had gone into a precarious partnership.