Софи Келли: Faux Paw

Hercules didn’t see the appeal of catnip at all, and he especially didn’t like dried bits of it in his things. For the past few months Owen’s chickens had been turning up in his brother’s territory: upside down in Hercules’s dinner dish, making a lump in the middle of his favorite blanket and sitting in what he considered to be his spot on the bench in the sun porch. As far-fetched as it seemed, I knew something was going on. It was almost as if Hercules was doing this on purpose, although I didn’t quite see why.

I stretched, slid my feet into my slippers and stood up. “Owen is not going to take this well,” I said to Hercules.

“Murp,” he replied, dropping back to the floor. He looked up at me, green eyes narrowed, furry chin jutting out.

“This isn’t going to fix anything,” I said, heading for the bathroom. Hercules trailed me, making little noises as though he were trying to justify swiping the catnip toy and decapitating it.

Just then I heard a loud, furious yowl from downstairs. Herc’s furry head swiveled at the sound. I leaned down and gave the top of his head a quick scratch. “You’re on your own,” I said. Then I darted into the bathroom and closed the door.

Of course that was pointless. If Hercules had been an ordinary cat he would have stayed on the other side of the door, in the hallway. But he wasn’t. So he didn’t.

Hercules had a . . . unique ability. He could walk through walls—and closed bathroom doors. Which he did. An area on the wood panel door seemed to shimmer for a moment and then the cat was standing at my feet. I had no idea how he did it. And it wasn’t like I could ask anyone. Walking though walls defied the laws of physics, not to mention logic. I didn’t want Hercules to end up in a research lab with electrodes stuck to his head—or worse. And I didn’t really want to end up there myself, either.

“You can’t hide in here forever,” I told him.

He half turned to look at the bathroom door he’d just come through. Then he began to wash his face. Translation: “I can for now.”

Unlike his brother, Owen didn’t have the walking-through-walls skill, but he did have the ability to become invisible, which meant he could lurk in wait for Hercules anywhere in the house. And he would.

“I’m having a shower,” I warned, leaning over to turn on the water.

Hercules took several steps backward. Among his many little quirks was an intense aversion to getting his feet wet, more so than the average cat. A heavy dew on the lawn in the backyard would make him hold up a paw and give me his best pathetic look in a calculated scheme to get me to carry him—which most of the time I did.

The first week of April had been rainy in Mayville Heights and there were only a few patches of snow left on the grass behind the house, but the ground was still soggy, which meant that for the last week I’d been carrying Hercules though our yard into Rebecca’s so he could have coffee with Everett Henderson, Rebecca’s new husband. Everett had funded the renovations to the Mayville Heights Free Public Library for its centennial and had hired me to oversee everything as head librarian. In eighteen months I’d fallen in love with the town, and when Everett offered me a permanent job I’d said yes.

When I got out of the shower Hercules was gone. I dressed, dried my hair and went downstairs to see what returning salvo Owen was going to fire in this little war.

Owen was in the kitchen, sitting next to the refrigerator, the picture of innocence, with a little smug thrown in. The headless body of Fred the Funky Chicken was dumped in his bowl. Why wasn’t he yowling his frustration at me or prowling around the house looking for his brother?

I leaned over to stroke the top of his gray head. “You’re taking this very well,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re up to something.”

He gave me his best “Who, me?,” which didn’t fool me for a minute. I started the coffee, put my bowl of oatmeal in the microwave and then got the cats’ breakfast.

Hercules appeared in the living room doorway. He looked warily toward Owen. The small gray tabby already had his head bent over his bowl. Herc started for his dish, moving slowly, his eyes locked on his brother. Owen gave no sign that he was interested; in fact, he shifted his body sideways a bit so Hercules was out of his line of sight.

I gave a sigh of relief. Maybe Owen didn’t care about the decapitated chicken. Maybe he’d finally had his fill of them. Maybe he had no retaliation planned.

Maybe by now I’d know better.

Owen shifted again. I saw a flash of gray paw. Then his water dish upended and a puddle of water spread across the floor . . . in front of Hercules’s food bowl. Owen shook his foot and continued to eat. Damp feet were not an issue for him.

Hercules howled in anger. Then he looked at me.

I shook my head. “You knew when you went all Ozzy Osbourne on the chicken that it would be a declaration of war as far as Owen is concerned.” I reached for the coffeepot. “I’m staying out of it.”

Hercules’s green eyes narrowed to two slits. He moved around the pool of water, looking for some way to get to his dish. There wasn’t one. Somehow, Owen had managed to tip his water bowl in just the right spot so that Hercules’s breakfast was marooned.

Had he planned it that way? Was he capable of planning it?

Oh yes.

Hercules made a noise that sounded a lot like a sigh. The only indication Owen gave that he’d heard anything was a slight twitch of his left ear.

Herc dipped his head and sniffed the floor. It was clean. I’d scrubbed it on my hands and knees with a scrub brush just the night before, my way of working off a frustrating day at the library. The cat’s pink tongue darted out and he began to lap at the water. Owen’s head came up.

“Touché,” I said, holding up my coffee cup.

He made grumbling sound low in his throat. I didn’t need to speak cat to know that he was probably telling me where I could go.

I ate my oatmeal while Hercules lapped his way to his dish. As soon as he could reach, he stretched out one white-tipped paw and pulled the bowl closer. He made a dramatic show of shaking both paws before bending his head to eat.

Owen had finished breakfast by then. He made an equally dramatic exit, picking up the remains of the yellow catnip chicken and making a wide circle around his brother before disappearing—literally—into the living room.

I finished breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. By then Hercules had eaten his breakfast. He started a meticulous face-washing routine while I wiped up the last of the spilled water. I moved his dishes over by the coat hooks on the wall by the back door and left Owen’s beside the refrigerator, giving both cats some fresh water and a tiny pile of sardine cat crackers.

By the time I was ready for work there was still no sign of Owen. “I’m leaving,” I called. After a moment there was an answering meow.

Hercules was in “his” spot on the bench in the porch. He went ahead of me out the door—waiting for me to open it this time—and waited at the edge of the lawn.

I looked across into Rebecca’s backyard. I still thought of the small blue house as Rebecca’s, even though she and Everett were married now. Rebecca was one of the first people I’d met when I’d arrived in Mayville Heights, and I admit I’d been happy when she’d told me that she and Everett had decided to live in her little house after the wedding.

I could see Everett in the gazebo, seated at the table with his coffee and the newspaper. I knew there would be a treat for Hercules as well.

“Merow,” the cat said, winding around my ankles.

I bent down and scooped him up. He nuzzled my chin.