Mike Ashley - The Mammoth Book of Locked-Room Mysteries And Impossible Crimes

“You got more protection than a South American dictator,” Slot-Machine said.

“There are five rubies, a matched set. They’re worth perhaps a quarter of a million dollars.”

“Maybe you need the Army,” Slot-Machine said.

“You’ll change shifts each day,” Moomer went on. “I’m hiring Ed Green and Manny Lewis for the other shifts. You’ll all wear uniforms, so you’ll look like ordinary guards.”

“A tight setup,” Slot said.

Slot-Machine disliked regular work, and he particularly disliked uniformed-guard work. But, as usual, his bank account looked like a tip for a hashhouse waitress, and Joe’s current employer was already beginning to count the shots in the Irish-whisky bottle every time Slot appeared in Joe’s bar.

“You got a deal,” Slot said. “I have a little free time. You’re lucky.”

“Well,” Moomer said, “if you’re so busy, you won’t need any money in advance.”

“You’re dreaming again,” Slot said.

Moomer grinned, paid $50 in advance, and left. Slot counted the money four times. He sighed unhappily. It always came out to $50. He hated clients who could count. At least, he decided, it would be easy work except for the wear and tear on his feet.

He was wrong. Before it was over, he had a dead man, five missing rubies, a very unfriendly Jason Moomer, a suspicious Captain Gazzo, and a room from which there was no way out except for a bird.

For two days all the trouble Slot-Machine had was tired feet. The suite in the North American was crowded with ruby-lovers, and jewellery dealers who loved only money, for the whole two days. The uniformed guards, and the three private detectives, earned their pay.

During the day the guard at the elevator checked credentials. Slot-Machine knew that this was necessary, but it was not a very valuable precaution. Moomer, Moomer & McNamara wanted to see their rubies sold, and almost anyone could get an invitation.

There were three doors to the suite. Two were locked on both sides, but a uniformed guard was stationed at each door anyway, as an additional security measure. The third door was the only entrance and exit to the suite. The Burns man there kept his pistol in plain sight. There was no need for guards on the windows. The suite was ten floors up without a fire escape.

The fifth Burns guard stood like an eagle-eyed statue right behind the display case. It would have taken an invisible man with wings to steal the rubies during the day. Which did not stop the Messrs. Moomer and McNamara from prowling like frightened hyenas.

“If you see anything suspicious, get to the alarm fast,” Jason Moomer explained to the guard at the display case. “The alarm is wired into the case itself, but there’s the extra switch just in case.”

“You’re in charge of your shift, Kelly,” Maximilian Moomer said. “Just stay sober!”

Old Maximilian did not like Slot-Machine. That came from the fee Slot had charged for finding a stolen diamond tiara a few years ago. Maximilian was a skinflint, and he had always suspected Slot of stealing the tiara and returning it for the handsome fee. Slot hadn’t, but he had thought it a good idea.

“Bringing in detectives is ridiculous anyway,” Maximilian Moomer said. “The uniformed guards are enough.”

“I think we should have had the showing in our own strong room,” Angus McNamara said. The tall Scotsman seemed the most nervous of the three owners.

But nothing happened for the first two days, and at night everything was quiet. The Burns men remained on guard at all the doors; the elevator remained under watch; and the man inside the suite camped in front of the safe.

Day or night, Slot-Machine Kelly, Ed Green, and Manny Lewis kept a roving eye on everything as they wandered through the rooms and halls in their uniforms. The detectives could not be told from the other Burns guards. For two days Slot-Machine cat-footed through the four rooms, eyeing the rubies and the guests and sneaking some of the free liquor when no one was looking. The only incident occurred on the second day when Slot was off duty.

Ed Green was on duty at the time. It happened just as the dayshift was going off. The swingshift guards had taken their stations, and Ed Green was talking to Manny Lewis outside the room, when the alarm went off like a scared air-raid siren.

People started to mill and shout. Manny Lewis ran to check the other doors. Ed Green and the uniformed guards poured into the main room and surrounded the display case. The guard at the case already had his gun out.

“What is it!” Green had snapped.

A very nervous and embarrassed young woman stood near the alarm switch. “I turned it,” she said. “I’m sorry. I thought it was for the waiter.”

Green swore angrily, and the Moomer brothers insisted that the attractive offender be taken to the police. The young woman did not seem to mind too much. She checked out nice and clean; she was the legitimate secretary of a small merchant named Julius Honder.

“The dame was just curious,” Green said to Slot-Machine. “At least we got sort of a drill.’

The guard system had worked fine. No one on the doors had left his post, and the Moomers and McNamara seemed happier. The final precaution, the electronic scanner that was set up to cover the elevators during the day and the single exit from the lobby of the hotel at night, was working perfectly.

“It’s a vacation with pay,” Slot told Joe before he went on duty on the third day. “A cockroach couldn’t get into that room, and a germ couldn’t get out.”

It happened on the third day.

Slot-Machine had the lobster shift on the third day – midnight to eight o’clock in the weary morning. He had stopped for a couple of quick whiskies at Joe’s tavern, and when he arrived he had to hurry into his uniform. The five Burns men of his shift were ready and waiting.

Ed Green greeted Slot-Machine. After the shift had been changed and Slot’s men were in their places at the locked doors and in front of the safe, Green and Slot had a cigarette just outside the main door to the suite. The Burns men of Green’s shift relaxed in the hallway.

The two shots exploded the silence a second or two before the alarm went off.

The shots were inside the suite. The alarm clanged like a wounded elephant.

“Come on!” Green shouted.

The Burns guards poured into the suite. They all rushed into the room where the safe was.

“Stay alert!” Slot snapped to his Burns man who was on the front door.

He watched his man pull his gun and stand alert, and then he hurried inside the suite and into the room where the safe was. The first thing he saw was the open safe. The second thing he saw was the body of the guard lying in front of the safe with Ed Green bending over it.

“Twice, right through the heart!” Green said.

“Search the place!” Slot snapped. “Tear it apart.”

Slot-Machine and Green checked the safe. It was clean as a whistle. It had been neatly and expertly burned open. The torch was still on the floor. The safe was a small one, and it had not taken much burning.

Ed Green called the police. Slot-Machine called the Burns men on the single night exit from the hotel downstairs, and told them to start the scanner and let no one out of the hotel without checking them. By this time all the Burns guards had torn the apartment apart and had found nothing at all.

By the time Captain Gazzo of Homicide arrived, in company with Sergeant Jonas and Lieutenant Mingo of Safe and Loft, the Moomers and McNamara were also there. Maximilian Moomer was almost hysterical.

“Search them all! Search Kelly! No one could have gotten in or out of this room!” Maximilian wailed.

“He’s got a point,” Captain Gazzo said to Slot-Machine.