Ronald Tierney - Good To The Last Kiss - Crimes of the Depraved Mind Series

‘The worst thing about being rich and spoiled is that nothing means a whole lot.’

… not like anything she’d seen. Control, sureness, knowing itself.

‘It’s so drab climbing all those mountains, zipping off to Paris for lunch and Morocco for dinner,’ Julia said, wondering how she could be so foolish, but wondering also how she could keep herself from tumbling into the…

‘Mmmmn, yes.’

‘… force field. ‘Well, you’ve certainly straightened me out. The next time I see some guy on the street begging for a quarter so he can put a down payment on some cheap wine to warm him up and send him back into oblivion, I’ll reconsider where I put my sympathies. I’ll ask him if he truly understands how badly the Maldeaux family has it.’

‘Oh Julia,’ Thaddeus said as if he were exhausted. ‘David said you are a challenge.’

‘You two have some sort of wager or something?’

‘No. And to be completely honest, he doesn’t know I’m here.’

‘That’s nice.’

‘What?’

‘Your having the consideration to tell me when you’re being honest.’

‘Truce? Just through dinner. Incidentally, I’m not looking for sympathy. Just understanding. I know I am a spoiled rich kid. I know how lucky I am. I know that one, highly motivated famous man’s sperm made it to that one receptive rich woman’s egg. And here I am, not only did my little tadpole beat out thousands of other little tadpoles but it found the golden egg. If it had been a couple of Somalians doing it, I’d be counting grains of rice, but it wasn’t. I’ve done what most spoiled rich kids have done plus some. Let me give you the stuff that impresses most people.’

‘Sure.’

‘I’ve sailed the Cape – not Cod – trekked the mountains near Tibet, witnessed camels like beads on the horizon of the Sahara and attended the brothels of Bangkok satisfying urges I never knew I had…’

‘I get the point.’

Thaddeus shook his head. ‘No you don’t. It impresses people for the wrong reason.’ He leaned across the table. ‘Do you think this is bragging, me telling you this?’

‘Isn’t it?’

‘On Kilimanjaro, there are places – part of the way up – if you stay there for twenty-four hours you will experience deep, deadly winter and lush, heavy summer every day. Every day, for as long as you stood there – the rest of your life perhaps – it won’t change. All four seasons in twenty-four hours. The plants have adapted to both arctic and the tropics. Do you understand?’

‘I understand what you say. It makes sense. I’m not sure I understand it in the way you’d like me to understand it.’

‘Precisely. You need to experience it. It’s like nothing you know or can imagine. Everyone delights in a sunset.’ He shook his head again, this time at his own inability to convey his thoughts. ‘This isn’t sunsets, Hallmark’s version of Mother Nature’s charming palette of colors. To go to Africa and see it for what it is, or Peru, or Tibet, do you understand is not to say you’ve been, but it is to have your existence transformed. To live. Do you understand?’

‘Let me tell you something,’ she said. She took another sip of the wine to clear her throat. It certainly wasn’t clearing her brain. ‘When I was a child, back in Iowa, seven or eight maybe, in the winter I used to put my wool nightgown over the heat duct. Then I’d undress in the dark and stand there cold in my cold upstairs room. When the nightgown was really warm, I’d pull it on and climb in bed as quickly as I could, cover myself up and try to go to sleep while it was still warm. Those first warm moments were as close to heaven as I could get. I looked forward to them every winter’s night. Do you understand?’

‘I do,’ he said. ‘That was a long time ago.’

‘Not so long. And there are other things that mean something to me.’

‘What?’

‘A good book. Looking at the fog come in. I’m glad to be alive,’ Julia said. ‘Don’t try to make my small life seem worthless.’

‘Believe me, I’m not. You are very worthwhile.’

It had been light when they entered the restaurant. Now, as they departed, it was dark and cool and damp. At the corner of Hayes and Gough they went left instead of right and walked into a neighborhood of galleries, restaurants and cafes. They agreed on another cup of coffee but didn’t know which to choose. Arbitrarily, they chose Mad Magna’s.

Oddly, to Julia’s mind, Thaddeus Maldeaux seemed to fit into the strange collection of San Franciscans who patronized the place. It was loud, boisterous, filled with folks you wouldn’t find in the audience of the 700 Club.

‘The Hindus have a phrase,’ Maldeaux said, as they sat at the little table near the bar. ‘I think it’s neti, neti . It means “not this, not that.”’

‘I know I’m being egotistical here, but what does all of this have to do with me?’

‘That’s what I want to know. I’ve never spent much time with a middle class girl from the Middle West, especially one who doesn’t appear to have an axe to grind. I’m tired and bored with everyone I know and seem destined to meet. For some unexplainable reason, you are different.’ He waited for her response. She gave none. He shrugged, gave her a hopeless smile.

‘I’m just opposite fashion, opposite fame, opposite… I don’t know. I’m not making much sense. I’m just me. I don’t need to have a make over. I’m not looking to be someone else. I don’t like all of these questions.’

‘What was life like, what were you like when you were growing up?’

‘Usual growing up,’ she said, blushing. She hadn’t been prepared for the change in focus.

‘What is that?’

‘I don’t know. I was a tomboy. A tough little girl.’

‘What did you do. For fun, I mean?’

‘I don’t want to talk about me. It’s boring.’

‘So let’s talk about me,’ he said, grinning.

‘OK, you’re right. Let’s talk about me. I used to go to the river. Get a ride out to the Cedar River. A bunch of us. Mostly boys.’ She laughed. ‘All boys, but me. We’d do make believe, pretend we were lost in a jungle or something. We’d make our own bow and arrows, swing from vines. Dare each other.’

‘You and a bunch of guys?’

‘Yeah,’ she smiled. ‘Donnie Patton… mmmnn and the others.

‘So who was this Donnie Patton. You liked him?’

‘I did then,’ she said. He was like Thaddeus in some ways. Handsome, curious, unrelenting. Staring straight into her eyes. Wanting something. Determined to get it.

‘Was the river beautiful?’

‘We thought it was. So far away from other people. A little wild. Odd flowers and leaves. I’m sure it doesn’t compare to the Amazon rainforest.’

‘And what happened to Donnie?’

‘Don’t know. After awhile, we grew up, I guess. No time to go out and play.’

‘I really want you to come out and play with me.’

‘You really think I am an adequate antidote to your malaise? Maybe you just need to find someone richer, more bored than you are.’

‘What if I don’t like rich people?’

‘I’m not sure that I do either,’ Julia said, unable to suppress a grin.

‘Let me tell you a little secret. I’m not sure I like the vast middle class. Boring. Cows. Maybe some day you’ll have to show me the Cedar River. Change my mind.’

‘You think I could change your mind? About anything.’

‘Do something,’ he said.

‘I’m happy,’ she said.

‘What’s going on? How many years do we have on this earth? Doesn’t matter. We’re content with cable TV. It’s unfathomable. Worse, there are millions of homo sapiens who are more excited by virtual reality than reality. What are they saying? “I want to live in a world that looks like the one I can control.” Aren’t they saying, “I don’t want to have a relationship with a real, live, breathing human being?” Christ, breathe. Live! There is a real world out there to experience. Do everything once.’