Claire McNab: Wombat Strategy

The door of Cardsharp Cards was wrenched open and a man in shirtsleeves came out. "Get outta here!" he bellowed at the woman at his feet. "And take your motherfucking cart with you." He kicked it so it slewed around, narrowly missing her.

"That's Eddie," said Melodie, glancing at the photograph his wife had provided. "A regular sweetheart."

I'd had a crash course in integrity tests from Lonnie while he wired me up. Basically, Melodie was to tempt this guy, to see if he could be trusted to stay on the straight and narrow.

Eddie, hands on hips, was glaring at the woman, who'd made no attempt to get up. "You've got ten seconds," he ground out, "and then…" He drew back his foot, obviously aiming to kick her this time. "One, two, three…"

The woman scrambled to her feet, spat on the ground near Eddie's shoe, then took the shopping cart and trundled away slowly, stopping every now and then to look back at Eddie with a sneer. He waited until she'd disappeared around a corner, dusted his hands, and went back into his shop.

"Let's get him," I said, all fired up.

Melodie, who'd changed into a tight, glittery top and slapped on lots of makeup before we left, said, "Follow me in after a minute or so, but check your equipment first."

I had a miniature video camera clipped to my belt and hidden under my favorite pink hibiscus shirt. The lens and microphone, attached to the camera by a thin wire, were both so tiny they fitted into a buttonhole.

Lonnie had showed me how to operate the camera, reminding me to always make sure that my chest was pointing in the right direction and that nothing would muffle the microphone or obscure the lens.

Hoping the microphone wouldn't pick up my racing heart (I was a bit nervous, this being my first real job), I pushed open the Cardsharp door, trying to look like an ordinary person in search of a greeting card. I tripped over the say it with a card! doormat, but the man behind the counter didn't notice-his attention was all on Melodie. I could see why. Melodie was walking with a swinging hip movement that had him hypnotized.

Trying not to breathe too heavily, as I didn't want the picture to be jerky, I made my way along a display of greeting cards. This was harder than I thought, keeping my chest pointed in the right direction while I seemingly surveyed the contents of the racks.

Eddie ran a hand over his slicked-back hair, licked his lips, and stepped from behind the counter. He was a reasonably good-looking bloke, if you liked the flashy sort. "And how can I help you, pretty lady?"

"I'm looking for love and friendship cards." There was a break in Melodie's voice, and her lips trembled.

Eddie's expression was all warm concern. "If you don't mind me saying so, you seem upset."

"It's nothing." Brave smile. "You know, I'll never understand men-how they think."

"Boyfriend trouble?"

Melodie batted her eyelashes. "How did you know?"

Eddie spread his hands. "In the card business, you learn to be sensitive to these things."

"We've had a fight. I thought a card…" I could almost see tears in her eyes. "Todd says it's over, but it can't be."

"Todd must be a fool. A beautiful woman like you!"

"Thank you," Melodie breathed.

"I'm Eddie."

"Melodie."

"What a lovely name."

I got a bit closer, hoping to get a clear recording of their conversation.

Melodie gazed up at him. "Thank you, again."

Eddie shook his head. "I know just how you feel, Melodie. My girlfriend and I just broke up."

"You're not married? All the nice ones are taken, I've found."

"Not this nice one," Eddie declared. "I haven't met the right girl"-meaningful pause-"yet."

I managed to turn my snort into a sneeze. Eddie glanced in my direction. I picked up a card and examined it closely. His attention snapped back to Melodie.

Touching her lightly on the arm, Eddie said, "You know, it's the loneliness that gets to me, know what I mean?" A moment, then he added, "Even in a crowd, I can feel so isolated, so alone."

Jeez, this was vomit-making.

Melodie nodded a sad agreement. "It's so hard to trust again."

Eddie took her hand. "We're both in the same boat, you and me. I wonder if you'd like a drink, maybe something to eat, somewhere nice."

"You're asking me on a date?"

"Why not? We're both free. And you shouldn't let one bad experience sour you on life."

"I'm not sure…"

Eddie practically melted with sincerity. "Fate has brought us together, Melodie. We shouldn't waste the opportunity we've been given."

"I don't know…it's so soon…"

"At least give me your number."

She shook her head. "I'll call you. Tomorrow, perhaps."

A flicker of annoyance on Eddie's face was quickly replaced with an understanding smile. He handed her a business card. "You can call me here, at the shop. Or on my cell. The number's there."

"Not at home?" Melodie purred. "I love to have sexy conversations, don't you? When we're both in bed and on the phone…"

Thinking fast, Eddie said, "There's a problem with my home phone-the whole street's out."

"You know, Eddie," said Melodie, "I don't know if I'm all that interested."

"Please, Melodie, I'd love to take you out. We'll have fun together." There was a pleasing note of desperation in his voice as he saw his chances slipping away.

Melodie mused for a moment. "I'll think about it, Eddie, but don't hold your breath."

His expression as he watched her sexy walk out the door was half randy and half angry resentment. With pleasure I delivered a final blow. "Mate," I said on my way out, "your cards aren't much chop. Pitiful, really. Wonder to me you stay in business."

Melodie was waiting for me in the car. "His wife was right. Her Eddie's an asshole."

I grinned at her, pleased that I'd done my part without a hitch. "A regular bull artist," I agreed.

Then my smile went south as I remembered that I wasn't the only deceived one around. Being half a world away from Raylene hadn't helped at all. If I didn't want to get all weepy again, I had to get mad.

"What's the matter?" asked Melodie, starting the engine. "You've got a funny look on your face."

"It's my killing look."

Melodie started to laugh, then broke off to peer at me. "Stop it," she said, "you're scaring me."

On the way back we took a detour to some special vegetarian place to pick up lunch. It took some time, as there was a long queue. Melodie, still in her temptress outfit, collected scads of attention from the blokes around. She didn't seem to mind, though, flashing her smile in all directions. "You never know who you'll see," she said in a confidential tone. "People in the biz often come here."

"What's the biz?"

She gave me a look of kindly scorn. "The entertainment business," she said in explanation. "The biz. You'll have to learn all about it if you're going to succeed in this town."

So far today I'd only had one doughnut for fuel, so I ordered up big when I made it to the counter. I had some trouble working out the American money when I paid.

"How come your bank notes all look the same?" I asked Melodie as we walked back to her car.

"You mean bills. And they're not the same." She stopped to take out a couple for my inspection. "See, they're different."

"But they're pretty well all the same color."

"Are you saying Australia's got colored money?"

"Blood oath, it has. Every denomination is different, and-"

"Aaaagh!" Melodie galloped off as fast as her high heels and tight skirt would allow. "I'm here! I'm here!" she called.

Her words were directed at a very large woman in a too-small uniform standing next to Melodie's convertible. When I came up, I heard the woman say in a satisfied tone, "Meter's expired."