Kate Kingsbury - Mistletoe and Mayhem

“Cecily, dearest!” she cried, as she swept across the carpet. “I’ve been hearing such dreadful stories! As if that poor girl wasn’t enough. I can’t close my eyes without seeing her swinging from the rafters. Now I hear that her husband is dead and Madeline’s poor little baby is missing.” She grasped Cecily’s hands in her gloved fingers, tears gushing from her eyes. “Please tell me it isn’t true.”

“It’s quite true.”

Madeline had spoken from her spot by the window, and Phoebe spun around so fast she almost lost her balance. “Dear heaven, Madeline! I didn’t see you there. Oh, you poor thing. How can you possibly bear it?”

“I’m bearing up quite well, thank you.” Madeline came forward and suffered a hug from Phoebe before drawing back. “Nice of you to ask, though.”

“Of course. I-”

Phoebe’s next words were drowned out by a deep, booming voice at the door. “Blast it, woman, do you have to walk so fast? I’m out of breath trying to keep up with you.”

The gentleman who entered wore a tweed hacking jacket and carried a matching tweed hat. The lower half of his face was hidden behind a mass of white whiskers and his nose glowed viciously red, suggesting a recent bout with a large bottle of brandy.

“Freddie, dear, do come in and shut that door. There’s such a dreadful draft.” Phoebe shivered and tucked her hands in her muff. “I simply can’t get warm these days.”

“It must be old age creeping on,” Madeline said, moving closer to the fireplace. “Come and sit down, Phoebe. It’s warm by the fire.”

Phoebe gave her a suspicious look, then, apparently deciding Madeline meant well, delicately lowered herself onto the armchair. “So do tell me all about it. Where did you find that poor dead man? How long has the baby been missing?”

Cecily was about to loudly change the subject when Colonel Fortescue did it for her.

“Reminds me of when I was on a tour of duty for the British army in India, old girl.” He’d pronounced it Inja , thrusting out his chest and tucking his thumbs into the top pockets of his waistcoat. Standing with his back to the fire, he rocked back and forth on his heels. “Ah, yes, I remember it well.”

“Oh, Freddie, do please be quiet.” Phoebe gave him a fierce frown then turned back to Madeline. “As I was saying-”

The colonel, as usual, completely ignored his wife’s reprimand. “Middle of the desert, hot as blazes, and we were all dying of thirst. I was riding ahead of the troops on a blasted elephant. Dashed awkward beasts to ride. Much prefer a horse. All that wriggling around was playing havoc with my-”

Phoebe sat up straight. “Freddie!”

The colonel coughed. “Ah… ahem, yes. Anyway, my batman spotted a pile of rags up ahead. He-”

“Frederick!” Phoebe glared at him. “No one is the least bit interested in your interminable war stories. Please cease and desist this minute.”

Normally Cecily would have been in full agreement. Knowing, however, that Phoebe was intent on learning every detail of the murders and the missing baby, the colonel’s tales were vastly preferable. “It’s quite all right, Phoebe. Do go on, Colonel. Your story is quite fascinating.”

Madeline sent her a grateful look, while Phoebe stared at her as if she’d lost her mind. After all, Cecily was always the first one to cut off the Colonel’s hair-raising accounts.

Fortescue needed no further bidding. “Well, anyway, that pesky bundle of rags turned out to be a child. Must have been abandoned by her tribe. Half dead she was, and skinny as a gutted rabbit.”

Cecily winced, while Phoebe shuddered. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she muttered.

Oblivious to the appalled reaction to his story, the colonel blithely continued. “Chalky, my batman, suggested we put her on the elephant with me and take her into town. Well, of course, we had to put the dratted thing on its knees to get her up there. Got it down all right, managed to get some water down the child’s throat, and tied her to the harness so she wouldn’t slide off.” He paused, staring at the clock on the mantelpiece. “I say, is that the time? I’m late for my midday snifter.”

Phoebe looked relieved. “So you are. Run along, then, Freddie. I’ll catch up to you later.”

The colonel blinked at her, as if he didn’t understand a word she’d said. “Right ho. Now, where was I? Ah, yes. Well, the elephant started to get up before I was ready. I slid right off the blasted thing. Fell right down on my-”

“Freddie!”

Fortescue scowled. “Tailbone. Couldn’t sit down for a week. Had to eat standing up. Dashed awkward that. Especially at the regimental dinner. Dribbled gravy all down my uniform. Still hurts in the rear if I sit down too hard.”

Phoebe rose from her chair, quivering with indignation. “Frederick Fortescue. I insist that you either be quiet or leave. This instant.”

The colonel looked surprised. “No need to shout. I’m on my way.” He turned to Cecily and bowed. “Good to see you, old bean. Looking forward to the carol singing tonight. Should raise the roof, what? What?”

“Indeed, Colonel. We look forward to enjoying your participation.”

Phoebe grunted something under her breath, while the colonel reached for Madeline’s hand. “Don’t worry, my dear,” he said gruffly. “All will be well. I feel it in my bones.”

Madeline smiled. “So do I, Colonel. Thank you.”

Phoebe waited until the door had closed behind her husband before exploding with wrath. “That man can be so insufferable, I really don’t know-” A loud rapping on the door interrupted her. “Well! If that’s Frederick again I’ll-”

She never got the chance to say what she would do. Without waiting for permission, Gertie had bounced into the room, words tumbling from her mouth so fast it was difficult to understand her.

“We found her. She’s all right. It was the Millshire youngsters. Found them in the tree house. Laughing like hyenas they were. Clive climbed up the tree and got her. He’s-” She looked over her shoulder. “Clive? Come on! Bring her in here, then!”

Madeline was already halfway across the room. As Clive’s bulky body filled the doorway, the baby in his arms, Madeline let out a cry so desperate, only then did Cecily realize just how well her friend had hidden her torment.

Madeline snatched the baby from the maintenance man and held her close, rocking her while murmuring soft words in her ear.

Cecily got up and patted Gertie on the shoulder. “Well done.”

“Yes, m’m, but it was Clive that found her.” Gertie’s face was flushed with excitement. “It was the little girl, Adelaide. She said she wanted to play with a real live baby. I don’t think she understands what she did.” Gertie glanced at Madeline. “She took really good care of her, Mrs. Prestwick. The baby’s all wrapped up in Lady Millshire’s shawl, and she wasn’t crying all that much.”

Madeline buried her face in the soft folds of the shawl for a moment, then looked up at Clive. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you both. I will give you both a special gift for this. Something precious to last a lifetime.”

“Completely unnecessary, m’m,” Clive said, looking bashful. “I just did my job, that’s all.”

“And me. I’m just glad the baby is all right.” Gertie glanced at Cecily. “I suppose I should go and help Pansy. She’s in the dining room. I’m afraid the midday meal is taking a bit longer to serve up.”

“That’s all right, Gertie. I think we can be forgiven for that this once.”

“Yes, m’m.” Gertie grinned and bent her knees in a slight curtsey.

Cecily turned to Clive. “Would you see if you can find my husband and Dr. Prestwick? Tell them we will meet them in the dining room.”