Mary Clark - The Shadow of Your Smile

A sleepy “Allo” told her that she had reached Blauvelt. Oh, for God’s sake, Esther thought, don’t practice your French on me. “Diana,” she said, apologetically, “you sound as though you might have been napping, but it’s important that I talk to you. Did you get my message and do you remember anything about that desk with the false bottom in it?”

“Oh, it’s you, Esther. Don’t worry about waking me up. I’m going out to dinner later and I just thought I’d rest for half an hour. Of course I remember about the desk. As I told Greg Gannon, when I called back after you’d left your office yesterday, I bought two of those desks.”

“ Two of them?” Esther exclaimed.

“Yes, one for Peter, and one for Dr. Langdon. I never did see Peter to show him the false bottom in the big drawer, but I did show Dr. Langdon. He had his desk sent to his office where he sees his psychiatric patients, not to his office at the foundation.”

“You’re sure of this, Diana?”

“Absolutely. And I told Greg Gannon that his wife can back me up. Pamela was there when I showed Dr. Langdon the hiding place in the desk.”

Stunned, Esther realized the possible ramifications of what she had just heard. Then Diana, after a moment’s hesitation, added, “Esther, I understand from Greg that you’re retired now. I’ve got to ask you. Don’t you think that Pamela Gannon and Dr. Langdon have been pulling the wool over Greg Gannon’s eyes for years?”

Susan had never been in Peter’s apartment. Now she looked around intently as she walked into the living room. Then, with a fleeting smile, she said, “I like what you’ve done here. You always had good taste.”

“Whatever good taste I have as far as home furnishings go, or anything else, for that matter, came from the women in my life, my mother and you.” He took a deep breath, and told her what had been weighing on his mind since the moment he saw Sally’s picture. “Susan, I know what you think of me as a father, but now I beg you to help me as my attorney. I want my daughter. Granted, I have never seen her, but when her mother and I broke up, I gave Renée two million dollars so that she would be able to have the best possible medical care while she was pregnant, and then never contact me again. I was told that Sally was going to be adopted by responsible people, and at the time it seemed like a good idea.”

Why did I have the nerve to think that Susan would help me with this situation? Peter asked himself as he tried to justify his neglect of his child. Nevertheless, he persisted. “I would have continued to support my daughter. You know my quarrel with Renée wasn’t about that. It was about Renée’s ability to hurt Greg with what she knew.”

Susan looked at her ex-husband, her expression calm. “What are you trying to say, Peter?”

“I want Sally. I did not kill her mother. I cannot bear the thought of her being placed in a foster home. I have been accused of a crime, but not convicted of it. What right has anyone to say that I cannot visit her?”

“Peter, are you being serious? Are you telling me that you not only want to see Sally, but you want custody of her?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Peter, you are going on trial for murder. No judge will grant you custody now. And I very much doubt that you would be allowed even supervised visitation, since you have never even seen the child.”

“I do not want my daughter in a foster home. Susan, there’s got to be a way to stop that. Look at her picture. My God, she looks so forlorn.” Peter realized there were tears in his eyes. “I’ll find a good nanny and beg the judge to let me have her. I may not go on trial for a year or more. You know how slow the court system is. I have never, ever been in trouble, not even any kid stuff while I was growing up. Susan…”

“Hold on, hold on,” she said, softly. “Peter, there is another solution, and one that I’m pretty sure the judge will accept. I want to request custody of Sally.”

Peter stared at Susan. “ You want Sally!”

“Yes, I do. She is the sweetest little girl and it is pathetic to see how starved she is for affection. And, Peter, she is so smart. I guess her babysitters at least must have read to her, because she was picking out words in some of the books I brought.”

“How many times have you seen her, Susan?”

“Twice. The nurses let me take her out of the crib and hold her. The newspaper picture doesn’t do her justice. She’s a beautiful baby. She’s the image of you.”

“You would want my child?”

“Peter, you seem to forget that for the twenty years we were married I wanted a child more than anything else. I still do. Kristina Johnson, the young nanny who probably saved Sally’s life by rushing her to the hospital, came in to visit her while I was there. It’s obvious that Sally is attached to Kristina. She had such a big smile for her. Kristina would be glad to take care of Sally again while I’m at work. And there’s no problem about room. As you’re well aware, there are three bedrooms in the apartment.”

We bought that apartment when we’d only been married a couple of years, Peter thought. Susan was pregnant, and we felt that we needed a bigger place. Then she miscarried three times. It broke her heart, but she said we still had each other. So we stayed in that apartment.

And then I left her.

“You think you can get custody immediately, that she won’t have to go to a foster home?” he asked, his voice shaking.

“I will file for an emergent hearing before Sally is released from the hospital. Why would a judge turn me down? Forty-six isn’t too old. My reputation is spotless. I have the room. As your ex-wife, I classify as a concerned relative. And I want her. The minute I saw her, I knew she would make up for all the heartbreak of losing the others.”

Her eyes suddenly moist, Susan looked at Peter. “You are her father, of course. The judge will probably give you some input in this. Will you let me have Sally?”

“Are you talking adoption or custody while my case is pending?”

“Both. If I take her, I can’t lose her.”

“Susan, you can keep Sally, but only if I can visit her and can really have a part in my daughter’s life. I can’t lose her, either.”

They were clasping each other’s hands. Without letting go of Susan’s entwined fingers, Peter said, “I have started to get flashes of memory of that night. I wasn’t going to tell anyone, because I didn’t want to give Greg up, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to spend the rest of my life in prison, even for my brother.”

“Peter, what are you talking about?”

“Greg’s car was parked across the street from that bar. Renée knew him when we were seeing each other. If he offered her a ride, she’d take it.”

“Greg knew that she was extorting money from you, didn’t he?”

“Sure. He was at the foundation meeting when I asked for the million-dollar loan, but he thought it was because she was going to reveal to the gossip columnists that I was Sally’s father. That didn’t upset him at all. His attitude was, ‘So what?’ I didn’t tell him at the time that there was a lot more to it.”

“Then why would he have been waiting outside the bar?” Susan asked.

“I was desperate to get that money. After he turned me down, I called Pamela and told her that Renée was going to blow the whistle on Greg’s insider trading. I knew Pamela could give me the money. Greg has put plenty in her name. She must have told him, and maybe it drove him over the edge.” He paused. “Susan, I think my brother killed Renée.”