Rex Stout - The League of Frightened Men

She was shaking her head. “I don’t believe that. It’s possible, but I don’t believe it.”

“You say she’s crazy.”

“No. As far as Dora could like any man, she liked Lorrie. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Not to make a reservation for Chapin in the electric chair?”

Mrs. Burton looked at me, and a little shudder ran over her. She said, “That’s no better... than the other. That’s horrible.”

“Of course it’s horrible. Whatever we pull out of this bag, it won’t be a pleasant surprise for anyone concerned, except maybe Chapin. I ought to mention another possibility. Dr. Burton shot himself. He turned the light out so Chapin couldn’t see what he was doing in time to let out a yell that might have given it away. That’s horrible too, but it’s quite possible.”

That didn’t seem to discompose her as much as my first guess. She merely said, calmly, “No, Mr. Goodwin. It might be barely conceivable that Lorrie wanted... had some reason to kill himself without my knowing it, but that he would try to put the guilt on Paul... on anyone... No, that isn’t even possible.”

“Okay. You said it yourself a while ago, Mrs. Burton; strange things can happen. But as far as that’s concerned, anyone at all might have done it — anyone who could get into that foyer and who knew Chapin was there and that Dr. Burton would come.—By the way, what about the maid that’s out this evening? Does she have a key? What’s she like?”

“Yes, she has a key. She is fifty-six years old, has been with us nine years, and calls herself the housekeeper. You would waste time asking about her.”

“I could still be curious about her key.”

“She will have it when she comes in the morning. You may see her then if you wish.”

“Thanks. Now the other maid. Could I see her now?”

She got up and went to the table and pushed a button, and took another cigarette and lit it. I noticed that with her back turned you could have taken her for twenty, except for the coil of hair. But she was slumping a little; as she stood her shoulders sagged. She pulled them up again and turned and came back to the couch, as the inner door opened and the whole outfit appeared: cook, maid, friend Alice, daughter and boy friend. The cook was carrying a tray. Mrs. Burton said:

“Thank you, Henny, not now. Don’t try it again, please don’t, I really couldn’t swallow. And the rest of you... if you don’t mind... we wish to see Rose a few minutes. Just Rose.”

“But, mother, really—”

“No, dear. Please, just a few minutes. Johnny, this is very nice of you. I appreciate it very much. Come here, Rose.”

The kid blushed. “Aw, don’t mention it, Mrs. Burton.”

They faded back through the door. The maid came and stood in front of us and tried some swallowing which didn’t seem to work. Her face looked quite peculiar because it intended to be sympathetic but she was too shocked and scared, and it would have been fairly peculiar at any time with its broad flat nose and plucked eyebrows. Mrs. Burton told her I wanted to ask her some questions, and she looked at me as if she had been informed that I was going to sell her down the river. Then she stared at the pad on my knee and looked even worse. I said:

“Rose. I know exactly what’s in your mind. You’re thinking that the other man wrote down your answers to his questions and now I’m going to do the same, and then we’ll compare them and if they’re not alike we’ll take you to the top of the Empire State Building and throw you off. Forget that silly stuff. Come on, forget it.—By the way.” I turned to Mrs. Burton: “Does Dora Chapin have a key to the apartment?”

“No.”

“Okay. Rose, did you go to the door when Dora Chapin came this evening?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You let her in and she was alone.”

“Yes, sir.”

“When she left did you let her out?”

“No, sir. I never do. Mrs. Kurtz don’t either. She just went.”

“Where were you when she went?”

“I was in the dining-room. I was there a long while. We weren’t serving dinner, and I was dusting the glasses in there.”

“Then I suppose you didn’t let Mr. Bowen out either. That was the man—”

“Yes, sir, I know Mr. Bowen. No, I didn’t let him out, but that was a long time before.”

“I know. All right, you let nobody out. Let’s get back to in. You answered the door when Mr. Chapin came.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Was he alone?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You opened the door and he came in and you shut the door again.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now see if you can remember this. It doesn’t matter much if you can’t, but maybe you can. What did Mr. Chapin say to you?”

She looked at me, and aside at Mrs. Burton, and down at the floor. At first I thought maybe she was trying to fix up a fake for an answer, then I saw that she was just bewildered at the terrible complexity of the problem I had confronted her with by asking her a question that couldn’t be answered yes or no. I said, “Come on, Rose. You know, Mr. Chapin came in, and you took his hat and coat, and he said—”

She looked up. “I didn’t take his hat and coat. He kept his coat on, and his gloves. He said to tell Dr. Burton he was there.”

“Did he stand there by the door or did he walk to a chair to sit down?”

“I don’t know. I think he would sit down. I think he came along behind me but he came slow and I came back in to tell Dr. Burton.”

“Was the light turned on in the foyer when you left there?”

“Yes, sir. Of course.”

“After you told Dr. Burton, where did you go?”

“I went back to the dining-room.”

“Where was the cook?”

“In the kitchen. She was there all the time.”

“Where was Mrs. Burton?”

“She was in her room dressing.—Wasn’t you, madam?”

I grinned. “Sure she was. I’m just getting all of you placed. Did Dr. Burton go to the foyer right away?”

She nodded. “Well... maybe not right away. He went pretty soon. I was in the dining-room and heard him go by the door.”

“Okay.” I got up from my chair. “Now I’m going to ask you to do something. I suppose I shouldn’t tell you it’s important, but it is. You go to the dining-room and start taking down the glasses, or whatever you were doing after you told Dr. Burton. I’ll walk past the dining-room door and on to the foyer. Was Dr. Burton going fast or slow?”

She shook her head and her lip began to quiver. “He was just going.”

“All right, I’ll just go. You hear me go by, and you decide when enough time has passed for the first shot to go off. When the time has come for the first shot, you yell Now loud enough for me to hear you in the foyer. Do you understand? First you’d better tell—”

I stopped on account of her lip. It was getting into high. I snapped at her, “Come on out of that. Take a look at Mrs. Burton and learn how to behave yourself. You’re doing this for her. Come on now.”

She clamped her lips together and held them that way while she swallowed twice. Then she opened them to say:

“The shots all came together.”

“All right, say they did. You yell Now when the time comes. First you’d better go and tell the people inside that you’re going to yell or they’ll be running out here—”

Mrs. Burton interposed, “I’ll tell them. Rose, take Mr. Goodwin to the study and show him how to go.”

She was quite a person, that Mrs. Burton. I was getting so I liked her. Maybe her soul was put away in a box somewhere, but other items of her insides, meaning guts, were all where they ought to be. If I was the kind that collected things I wouldn’t have minded having one of her gloves myself.