Дмитрий Мансуров - Invasion

“I don’t know,” Maria started when Kashchey snapped his fingers in front of her face for the third time, repeating his question. “I was pressing the buttons in one of the rooms… What, don’t you know what’s in your own castle?”

“I didn’t have much time,” Kashchey waved his hand. “Can you find it again?”

“I think so. I’ll tell you only if you invite me to a humble villainous dinner, though.”

Kashchey smiled a little. The princess was setting the conditions. She was coming to her senses, then! Now they could have dinner properly, pleased and satisfied.

“Lunch is served!” Kashchey declared, setting the tray before the princess. He had to discard the thought that the princess, because of her way of life, would hang a noose around his neck painfully quickly. At least for a while. The princess looked at her plate.

“I can see why you’re so skinny now. You’re supposed to put food on the plates.”

“I did.”

“You smeared it.”

“Get some bread, collect the food with it, and eat!” Kashchey advised. “And I’m not skinny. I just move a lot.”

Maria put the first spoonful into her mouth and almost spat it back out. But this time, the feeling of hunger was stronger than disgust, so in the end, she swallowed the food.

“Do you cook yourself or do you steal food?” she asked. “If you steal, then change your sources. This is disgusting.”

“Of course, I steal it. The chefs know in advance that they won’t get a piece, so they aren’t trying at all, those jerks!” Kashchey complained.

Maria giggled.

“The truth is,” Kashchey added, “the meals are prepared by a machine. I order what I want and it cooks it.”

“That’s a strange name for a cook,” Maria noted. “Is he from abroad?”

“This is not…” Kashchey hesitated. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Maria opened her mouth indignantly, but Kashchey stopped her angry chattering on time.

“Don’t argue. You’re smart, I know! I’ve seen it firsthand. It’s just beyond your comprehension. A machine is a device. Well, I don’t know how to describe it… you can think of it as my magical assistant, like a magic wand.”

“Like that duster?”

“Exactly!” Kashchey nodded, although he had no idea what she was talking about. Nevertheless, the princess was satisfied with the answer.

“Make it follow the orders properly,” Maria advised. “Then the food will taste better.”

“I’ll do it tonight,” Kashchey promised.

“Tell me, is this your castle?” Maria changed the subject.

“Yes,” Kashchey responded shortly. He didn’t want to tell her the whole history of his appearance in this place. It was too long, dreary, and required too much effort. Only Scheherazade could talk for three years in a row to save her life.

“So why don’t you know where to go?” the princess insisted, and Kashchey gave up. Maria clearly wouldn’t back off. She had nowhere to hurry, after all, and nothing to do. Besides, girls liked to chat.

‘She did put a noose around my neck, subtly as it was,’ Kashchey thought.

“I know the castle stores a lot of strange things,” he said aloud. “But I’ve been too busy to explore them. They aren’t gold, and I’m collecting gold right now. As soon as I decide that it’s time to focus on the castle properly, I’ll look through everything here.”

“Who put these things in your castle?” Maria asked.

“I have no idea! I don’t know who lived here before me, or if anyone lived here at all. I’ve heard legends about the mysterious builders, and I think that the castle was built specifically for me.”

“Why?”

“Because no one has tried to get it for themselves. All the guests wanted to strangle me in particular. They didn’t care about the castle. But I have no idea what these things are for.”

“How can you live next to millions of puzzles and completely ignore them?!” Maria was astonished. “I would have died from curiosity a long time ago!”

“Die as much as you want!” Kashchey allowed. “But only after the prince comes. No sooner than that.”

“No, seriously! Why?”

“Because my past is the biggest mystery to me. I’m a mystery. And all around me is a mystery. Wherever you go, you’ll see mystery upon mystery upon mystery. And I just want to collect gold.”

“I think you’re depressed. It’s wrong. You should enjoy life.”

“Me? Depressed?” Kashchey was surprised. “The whole world is reeling from my forms of entertainment!”

“The world, yes,” Maria agreed. “While you’re sitting here alone and depressed.”

Kashchey wondered about it. In some ways, Maria was right. Collecting gold century after century wasn’t that boring, but it was kind of… monotonous? It was high time to focus on something else.

“All right!” Kashchey said decisively. “You’ll find me the room I need, and as a reward, I’ll allow you to study the exhibits in this vault until the princes come. Agreed?”

“Agreed!” Maria nodded. “And how long should I wait for their appearance?”

“A few weeks,” Kashchey replied. “Or months. Or years.”

“What?” Maria cried in astonishment, almost choking.

“Who knows what these princes of yours have in mind? Maybe they’ll ride past the castle and then it’ll take them years to find the right path… “ Kashchey noted philosophically. “Don’t worry so much! Time’ll fly as we’re exploring the castle. And we will know for sure whether the princes are worthy of you or if they’re just keeping up the appearances.”

“You’re so sneaky,” the princess retorted.

Kashchey nodded.

“Pray tell,” he said, “why did the king call you his golden treasure?”

“I won’t tell you.”

“Then don’t. I know it myself. He’s put a lot of money in you.”

“In me?”

“Well, not in me for sure! Let’s start the search, shall we?”

“He didn’t put anything in me. And yes, let’s start.”

In the village, no one believed that the night strangers were deadly creatures with a penchant for sucking blood. Fear mistook molehills for mountains. That’s what everyone thought. They’d never met a creature like that before, ergo, they didn’t exist. And the reality wasn’t all that scary, not like what the prince and Babak were trying to describe.

“You’ve dreamt it all up!” the peasants in the village were saying when Babak called them to a meeting at the little bell tower and told them about the battle in the hut.

“What, all three of us had the same dream?” the prince snapped. “Did you not hear the battle?”

“They were just goblins being naughty. It happens sometimes!” the farmer replied confidently. “You city folks aren’t used to it, but here, anything can happen! No wonder Baba Yaga lives here!”

“So what?” How does her existence prove that we are mistaken?” the prince exclaimed. The peasants blinked in bewilderment.

“What?” one of them asked in surprise.

“If there is Yaga here, you think there can’t be any other monsters?”

“Who knows?” the peasants responded vaguely. “But where are the slain monsters? Have they melted or something?”

“They were burned.”

“Where are the ashes?”

“Blown away. But we still have bat corpses.”

“Where?”

“Here!” the prince nodded at the small pile. The peasants obediently looked in this direction.

“That’s it?” they shouted in astonishment. “Six huge beasts have left only three small corpses behind?!”

“It’s unbelievable, I know,” Yaroslav said. “But since these creatures burn without a trace, that should be taken into account. By the way, they are able to break through the door and get into your fortified homes.”