Dave Barry: Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up

Dave Bozeman, manager of the Piggly Wiggly, is planning now for the Annual Gulf Breeze Christmas Parade. Piggly Wiggly plans to have several entries, including the Folgers Race Cars and, of course, the Pig!

In short, the Sentinel seems to be your basic small hometown paper doing hometown stories about hometown people. Except that in the same November 19 issue, right above the Piggly-Wiggly manager, is a story headlined:

UFO SIGHTED OVER GULF BREEZE

Below this are three photographs of this thing, shaped roughly like a fat disk with a glowing, tapered bottom and a small, glowing protrusion on top. There are regularly spaced dark marks going around the side. The thing is in fairly clear focus. It appears to be hovering in the evening sky; you can see the dark blurred shapes of trees in the foreground.

The “story” accompanying the photographs consists entirely of the text of an anonymous letter to the newspaper, allegedly written by the photographer, who says he took five Polaroid pictures of the thing from his yard on the night of November 11.

“I was reluctant at first to show [the photographs] to any one, says the letter, but my wife convinced me to show them to Ed. Ed in turn said that the photos should be shown to the press. ... I am a prominent citizen of the community, however, and need anonymity at this time. I know what I saw and would feel much better if I knew I was not alone.

“Let me reassure you that this is not a hoax.”

It was “Ed” who brought the photographs to the Sentinel, according to Duane Cook, the editor and publisher. Cook, 43, is a former computer salesman who took over the paper from his stepfather in 1980. Cook thought the pictures looked convincing, and “Ed,” whom Cook knows, said the photographer was responsible. So Cook decided to go ahead with the story, but he was still “nervous a little” about it until the morning of November 19, when the paper was just about to go to press. On that day Cook’s stepfather and predecessor as editor, Charles Somerby, and his wife (Cook’s mother), Doris Somerby, stopped by the paper. Cook showed them the Polaroids.

They did not act surprised. They said they had seen the same object. On the same night.

Deedeedeedee deedeedeedee

“I lost all fear of going to press with it,” Cook says.

If you called up Central Casting and asked for two people to play the parts of the Reliable Witnesses, they would send you Charlie and Doris Somerby. He’s 69 and, before his newspaper career, served as a naval communications officer in World War II and Korea. She’s 67 and holds the world indoor record for grandmotherliness (when I visit their home to interview them, she has an actual apple pie cooling on the kitchen table).

The Somerbys say that on November 11, while taking a walk at sundown, they saw an object out over the bay headed toward Gulf Breeze. It made no sound, they say, and it did not look like any kind of aircraft they had ever seen. They watched for some mention of it on the evening TV news, but there was none. Until Cook showed them the photographs, they had not planned to say anything about it.

I ask them, several times and in several ways, if they’re sure that the thing they saw over the bay looks the same as the object in the photographs. They say they’re sure. Driving away, I am convinced they’re telling the truth.

When the Sentinel published the UFO pictures, people started calling. “We got a half a dozen calls from people who saw something that night,” says Cook. His staff started collecting these reports, and ran them as a front-page story in the November 25 issue. A local TV station did a story about the UFO, showing one of the Polaroids blown way up. “That was impressive,” says Cook.

Then another local TV station did a story about it.

Then United Press International did a story about it.

And then it happened, the event that distinguishes an interesting but basically local story from a story with potentially shocking Worldwide Implications: The National Enquirer called.

Yes. The paper that is frequently way ahead of the media pack on major Hollywood divorces; the paper that obtained and published the now-historic photograph showing Donna Rice sitting on Gary Hart’s lap because he was too much of a gentleman to push her off; the paper that once offered a reward of $1 million for “positive proof” that extraterrestrial spacecraft are visiting the Earth; this paper was now calling Duane Cook of the Breeze Sentinel.

The Enquirer sent a reporter, who wanted to take the photographs back to the paper’s home base in Lantana, Florida, for further analysis. But by that point Cook had been in touch with the state director of the Mutual UFO Network (more on this later), who had advised Cook that these photographs could be very valuable and he should not let them out of his sight. So the Enquirer flew Cook down to Lantana, where, Cook says, “They gave [the photographs] the most thorough going-over, and they couldn’t find any flaws.” They made Cook an offer: $5,000 for the right to publish the photographs before anybody else—if the Enquirer decided to use them. But before they made that decision, they wanted a second opinion. So they flew Cook and his photographs all the way to the world-famous NASA Jet Propulsion laboratory at Cal Tech in Pasadena, California. There, Cook says, “they took a series of photographs of the photographs,” the idea being that they would analyze them further and give the results to the Enquirer.

Five thousand dollars. NASA. This was getting very exciting. And there was more to come.

Two more photographs arrived at the Sentinel. These were taken with a 35mm camera, and although the quality is worse than that of the Polaroids, they appear to show the same object. An anonymous letter claims the photographs were taken in June of 1986—over a year before the Polaroids were allegedly taken.

Then somebody stuffed a manila envelope into the Sentinel mailbox containing nine more photographs; again the quality is poor, but they appear to show the same object. The accompanying letter is signed “Believer Bill,” who claims he took the pictures with a toy camera—which also was stuffed into the envelope—that his children had left in his car.

Then “Ed”—remember “Ed”? The one who brought in the original photographs—gave the Sentinel a very clear Polaroid that he says he took in his backyard; it shows, very clearly, three of the objects.

At this point the Sentinel was turning into the Galactic Clearing House for UFO Evidence. The photographs had become so common that the last two sets, which seemed to suggest that a regular alien invasion was going on right there in Gulf Breeze, ran on page four of the December 24 issue. The page-one story was the Christmas parade.

But Duane Cook, the editor, is hoping that the UFO story isn’t over.

“I would be delighted if, whoever they are, they have decided to communicate, because they’ve been watching us for some time now,” he tells me. “My main fear is that we won’t be adult enough to welcome them. My contribution would be to condition people’s minds to the possibility that they do exist, so that we can learn from them. In fact, maybe ...”—Cook pauses, then shakes his head. “No, that sounds grandiose.”

“What?” I ask.

“Well,” he says, looking at me carefully, “maybe that’s why I’m here.”

Deedeedeedee deedeedeedee

Duane Cook is not alone. A lot of people are convinced that extraterrestrials are watching us. There are more than 200 UFO-oriented organizations worldwide, according to The UFO Encyclopedia, which bills itself as “a comprehensive A-to-Z guide to the UFO phenomenon” and which cheerfully and uncritically passes along all kinds of fascinating UFO stories. Here, for example, is an excerpt from the entry about a “contactee”—a person who claims to receive regular visits from extraterrestrials—named Howard Menger: