James Boswell - Anecdotes of the Learned Pig

THE great and learned Pig, of which it is our hap to ſpeak, was produced in a ſty belonging to an old Tory, bookſeller, in 2 2 We have ſought for information concerning this fact, that the gentleman deſignated in the text was born in Moorfields , or that his father was a bookſeller there, which, however, we confeſs to have heard, but when or where we can by no means remember. Moorfields . At that time Moorfields was diſtinguiſhed by rails which 3 3 Cloath ſpice, line trunks, or flutt’ring in a row, Befringe the rails of Bedlam or Soho. POPE’S IM. OF HORACE, Ep. I. B. 2. fluttered with party writings and libels of every ſort; and it is remarkable that his mother, during her pregnancy, tore down from thoſe rails, and fairly devoured one whole volume of Filmer and all Sacheverell ’s ſermons at a meal; after which ſhe was obſerved to grunt more and louder, and to lie longer in the ſun, and deeper in the mire, than it had before been her cuſtom to do. She was delivered of our Pig on the morning of the tenth of June . He was ſtrong and bony, but of an inelegant form, and betrayed a very uncommon roughneſs in his ſqueak; and it was ſoon after remarked by the neighbours, that his trottings after his mother were made in 4 4 “When in company where he was not free, or when engaged earneſtly in converſation, he never gave way to ſuch habits, which proves that they were not involuntary.” I ſtill, however, think, that theſe geſtures were involuntary; for ſurely had not that been the caſe, he would have reſtrained them in the public ſtreets. – Boſwell’s Tour, p. 9. zig-zags, and not in ſtraight lines as is uſual with other pigs. After his mother, however, he reſolutely trotted, and one morning, as ill fortune would have it, into a garden which had belonged to the great Milton , and was now in the poſſeſſion of one of his daughters. Here he fed voraciouſly upon white roſes , whilſt his lady mother was buſily employed in rooting up all the red ones . He was in this place ſeized by the owner, and ſo ſeverely whipped, that he thought no other than that ſhe was whipping him to death in preparation for a luxurious meal. Of this whipping he retained through life the higheſt reſentment, and bore ever after the moſt inveterate hatred of the whole Miltonic line . On the fifth of November following he was taken up, without any warrant, by the rabble, for the uſes of a Whig feaſt , and was very near being roaſted at the ſame fire with the Pope , the Devil , and the Pretender ; but this being diſcovered to be ſomething meaſly , he was turned looſe to be cured, as they deridingly ſaid, by the 5 5 The pretence of a miraculous power in the cure of the evil was the moſt extraordinary ſtrain of that King-craft of which James the Firſt ſo loudly boaſted. No manly man, under the circumſtances of the caſe, would have ſet up this pretence, or have expected any effect from it but that of public deriſion and contempt; but weak and credulous men take, perhaps, the beſt meaſure of human weakneſs and credulity, and ſo deep did this fraud ſtrike its roots, that, authenticated as it was by the clergy, and annually certified by the ſurgeons and phyſicians of the royal houſehold, it ſurvived the civil war, was reſtored with Charles the Second, extended beyond the revolution, and was only extinguiſhed by the act of ſettlement, which, taking the principles of the Britiſh government out of the clouds, placed them on the firm baſis of the earth. The pretenſions of Alexander were of a bolder and more rational ſort, and held to be ſo important, that his ſucceſſors, who had no kindred intereſt in the horns of Ammon, yet mingled them in their crowns and tiaras, till at laſt the Roman Titans tumbled from their ſeats one after another theſe fictitious gods. The moſt deceitful glimmer of divine claim ſeems to have had more influence on the mind of the perſon who ſeems to have been deſignated in the text, than the moſt ſolid principles of political right. royal touch . Of this event he retained the ſtrongeſt ſenſibility, and conſidered ever after his fellow ſufferers, the Pope and the Pretender , with great complacence, if not affection; but as to the other party , though expoſed to the ſame diſhonours, there was ſomething in his horns and his tail which he could never be brought to endure. The touch already mentioned, though profanely ſneered at by the Whig rabble , was ſoon afterwards in good earneſt applied; but ſo great an obliquity of head had by this time taken place, that it could never be perfectly reſtored. Upon this memorable occaſion there was placed about his neck a ribband of true blue , to which hung a ſilver coin, diſplaying royal lineaments of the Stuart line , making ſo ſtrong an impreſſion on his young fancy, that for that line he ever after retained the moſt 6 6 “I mentioned Lord Hailes as a man of anecdote – He was not pleaſed with him for publiſhing only ſuch memorials as were unfavourable for the Stuart family.” – Boſwell’s Tour, p. 312. paſſionate regard. Thus decorated, he conſidered himſelf, and was conſidered by others, as a kind of 7 7 Tantony pigs were pigs who belonged formerly to the Convent of St. Anthony in the city. Collars were placed about their necks, inſcribed St. Anthony . They fed all over the town, and out of reſpect to the fathers of that convent, it was uſual for the paſſengers to give them biſcuits, and other things carried for that purpoſe in their pockets. The pigs of courſe followed the paſſengers in this expectation; and hence came the expreſſion of one perſon’s following another like a Tantony pig. Tantony , or St. Anthony ’s Pig, belonging to the Crown. Not long after this period he was heard one morning as he lay in the ſun to grunt forth, portentouſly the following rhymes:

This being publicly known, the neighbours now put on him a human coat, in which condition he appeared as if the Hog in armour had deſcended from his ſign-poſt to mingle in ſociety, and converſe with man. Nor did they ſtop here, but ventured alſo to recommend him for a penſion to the great miniſterial hog , though, for the preſent, however, without effect; for though it was evident enough that our learned Pig could ſay Ay , yet it did not follow that he would be always diſpoſed to do ſo. He was therefore turned looſe into the ſoil of this great town to ſubſiſt as he could, where, idling and rambling , he picked up ſometimes flowers, and ſometimes thiſtles, a great number of Greek and Hebrew roots, with an immenſe quantity of verbage of every ſort 8 8 The perſon here deſigned is allowed by the courteſy of the times to poſſeſs a nervous and elegant ſtile; but ſo unhappy is the writer of this note, that he can by no means concur in the general praiſe. He has a notion of Saxon ſimplicity, from which all departure, not enforced by neceſſity, and regulated by taſte, aſſimilating, as much as may be, foreign words to the genius of the Saxon tongue, is to him intolerable. But the writer here ſpoken of was wholly deficient in taſte, and appears to refer his Engliſh to ſome foreign ſtandard chanting forth polyſyllables, and tiring the ear with dull returns of the ſame cadences, for ever advancing like a poſt horſe, two up and two down, and incapable of changing his pace, without throwing both himſelf and his rider in the dirt. But hack writers, like hack horſes, find it for their eaſe to practiſe an uniform rate.