Margaret Dwight - A Journey to Ohio in 1810, as Recorded in the Journal of Margaret Van Horn Dwight

I never will go to New Connecticut with a Deacon again, for we put up at every byeplace in the country to save expence – It is very grating to my pride to go into a tavern & furnish & cook my own provision- to ride in a wagon &c. &c- but that I can possibly get along with- but to be oblig'd to pass the night in such a place as we are now in, just because it is a little cheaper, is more than I am willing to do- I should even rather drink clear rum out of the wooden bottle after the deacon has drank & wip'd it over with his band, than to stay here another night – The house is very small & very dirty- it serves for a tavern, a store, & I should imagine hog's pen stable & every thing else- The air is so impure I have scarcely been able to swallow since I enter'd the house- The landlady is a fat, dirty, ugly looking creature, yet I must confess very obliging- She has a very suspicious countenance & I am very afraid of her- She seems to be master, as well as mistress & storekeeper, & from the great noise she has been making directly under me for this half hour, I suspect she has been "stoning the raisins & watering the rum" – All the evening there has been a store full of noisy drunken fellows, yet Mr Wolcott could not be persuaded to bring in but a small part of the baggage, & has left it in the waggon before the door, as handy as possible- Miss W's trunk is in the bar-room unlock'd the key being broken today- it contains a bag of money of her father's, yet she could not persuade him to bring it up stairs – I feel so uneasy I cannot sleep & had therefore rather write than not this hour- some one has just gone below stairs after being as I suppos'd in bed this some time- for what purpose I know not-unless to go to our trunks or waggon- the old woman, (for it was her who went down,) tells me I must put out my candle so good night – Tuesday Morn – I went to bed last night with fear & trembling, & feel truly glad to wake up & find myself alive & well- if our property is all safe, we shall have double cause to be thankful – The old woman kept walking about after I was in bed, & I then heard her in close confab with her husband a long time – Our room is just large enough to contain a bed a chair & a very small stand- our bed has one brown sheet & one pillow- the sheet however appear'd to be clean, which was more than we got at Nash's- there we were all oblig'd to sleep in the same room without curtains or any other screen- & our sheets there were so dirty I felt afraid to sleep in them- We were not much in favor at our first arrival there; but before we left them, they appear'd quite to like us- & I don't know why they should not, for we were all very clever, notwithstanding we rode in a waggon – Mrs Nash said she should reckon on't to see us again (Miss W & me) so I told her that in 3 years she might expect to see me – She said I should never come back alone, that I would certainly be married in a little while- but I am now more than ever determin'd not to oblige myself to spend my days there, by marrying should I even have an opporty – I am oblig'd to write every way so you must not wonder at the badness of the writing- I am now in bed & writing in my lap- Susan has gone to see if our baggage is in order – I hear the old woman's voice talking to the good deacon- & an "I beg your pardon" comes out at every breath almost – Oh I cannot bear to see her again she is such a disgusting object – The men have been swearing & laughing in the store under me this hour- & the air of my room is so intolerable, that I must quit my writing to go in search of some that is breathable – I don't know how far I shall be oblig'd to go for it- but there is none very near I am certain – Having a few moments more to spare before we set out, with my book still in my lap, I hasten to tell you we found everything perfectly safe, & I believe I wrong'd them all by suspicions – The house by day light looks worse then ever- every kind of thing in the room where they live- a chicken half pick'd hangs over the door- & pots, kettles, dirty dishes, potatoe barrels- & every thing else- & the old woman- it is beyond my power to describe her- but she & her husband & both very kind & obliging- it is as much as a body's life is worth to go near them – The air has already had a medicinal effect upon me – I feel as if I had taken an emetic- & should stay till night I most certainly should be oblig'd to take my bed, & that would be certain death – I did not think I could eat in the house- but I did not dare refuse- the good deacon nor his wife did not mind it, so I thought I must not – The old creature sits by eating, & we are just going to my great joy so good bye, good bye till to-night —

It has been very cold & dusty riding to day – We have met with no adventure yet, of any kind – We are now waiting at the ferry house to cross the river as soon as wind & tide serve- The white waves foam terribly how we shall get across I know not, but I am in great fear- If we drown there will be an end of my journal —

After waiting 3 or 4 hours at the ferry house, we with great difficulty cross'd the ferry & I, standing brac'd against one side of the boat involuntarily endeavouring to balance it with my weight & groaning at every fresh breeze as I watch'd the side which almost dipt in the water- & the ferrymen swearing at every breath- Mr, Mrs & Miss Wolcott viewing the city and vainly wishing they had improv'd the time of our delay to take a nearer view – At length we reach'd this shore almost frozen- The Ferry is a mile & an half wide – I was too fatigued to write last night & soon after we came retired to bed- We were again oblig'd all to sleep in one room & in dirty sheets- but pass'd the night very comfortably – If good wishes have any influence, we shall reach our journey's end in peace- for we obtain them from everyone – The morning is pleasant & we are soon to ride – Mrs Buskirck the landlady, I should imagine is about 60 years of age & she sits by with a three year old child in her lap- She wears a long ear'd cap & looks so old I thought she must be Grandmother till I enquir'd —

"What is every body's business is no body's" for instance- it is nobody's business where we are going, yet every body enquires- every toll gatherer & child that sees us – I am almost discouraged- we shall never get to New Connecticut or any where else, at the rate we go on- We went but eleven miles yesterday & 15 to day – Our Waggon wants repairing & we were oblig'd to put up for the night at about 3 oclock. – I think the country so far, much pleasanter than any part of Connecticut we pass'd thro'-but the Turnpike roads are not half as good- The Deacon & his family complain most bitterly of the gates & toll bridges- tho' the former is very good-natur'd with his complaints – Also the tavern expenses are a great trouble- As I said before I will never go with a Deacon again- for we go so slow & so cheap, that I am almost tir'd to death. The horses walk, walk hour after hour while Mr W sits reckoning his expenses & forgetting to drive till some of us ask when we shall get there? – then he remembers the longer we are on the road the more expensive it will be, & whips up his horses – and when Erastus the son, drives, we go still slower for fear of hurting the horses – Since I left you I have conceived such an aversion for Doctors & the words, expense, expensive, cheap & expect, that I do not desire ever to see the one (at least to need them) or hear the others again, in my life – I have just found out that Elizabeth Town is but 5 miles off & have been to the landlord to enquire if I cannot possibly get there & he encourages me a little, I cannot write more till I am certain- Oh if I can but see my brother! After a long crying spell, I once more take up my pen to tell you I cannot go, – there is no chair or side saddle to be got, & I will, by supposing him at New York, try to content myself- to describe my disappointment would be impossible – it is such an agravation of my pain, to know myself so near & then not see him – I have the greater part of the time till now, felt in better spirits than I expected-my journal has been of use to me in that respect – I did not know but I should meet with the same fate that a cousin of Mr Hall's did, who like me, was journeying to a new, if not a western country- She was married on her way & prevented from proceeding to her journey's end- There was a man to day in Camptown where we stopt to eat, not oats but gingerbread, who enquired, or rather expected we were going to the Hio- we told him yes & he at once concluded it was to get husbands- He said winter was coming on & he wanted a wife & believ'd he must go there to get him one- I concluded of course the next thing would be, a proposal to Miss W or me to stay behind to save trouble for us both; but nothing would suit him but a rich widow, so our hopes were soon at an end- Disappointment is the lot of man & we may as well bear them with a good grace- this thought restrain'd my tears at that time, but has not been able to since – What shall I do? My companions say they shall insist upon seeing my journal & I certainly will not show it to them, so I told them I would bring it with me the first time I came to Henshaw (the place where they live) & read it to them; but I shall do my utmost to send it to you before I go- that would be a sufficient excuse for not performing my promise which must be conditional – I will not insist upon your reading this thro' my dear Elizabeth & I suspect by this time you feel quite willing to leave it unread further- I wish I could make it more interesting – I write just as I feel & think at the moment & I feel as much in haste to write every thing that occurs, as if you could know it the moment it was written- I must now leave you to write to my brother, for if I cannot see him I will at least write him- I cannot bear the idea of leaving the state without once more seeing him – I hope next to write you from 30 miles hence at least – Poor Susan feels worse to night than me, & Mrs Wolcott to cheer us, tells us what we have yet to expect- this you may be sure has the desir'd effect & raises our spirits at once —