Robert Butler - Narrative of the Life and Travels of Serjeant B–

During the time I was thus exposed to many hardships, there is one thing I must not omit, which is as follows: – I was rather worse off, both for money and provisions, than I had been for a long time. – No meal was to be had in Darnick, and I went to Melrose on Monday morning for a supply; but the scarcity was so great that I could find none. On Tuesday, after working all the morning, I again went to Melrose, though I was scarcely able to reach it, through weakness, and succeeded in getting a quarter stone at one shilling and fourpence; and all the money I had in the world, after paying this, was twopence. When I was on my way home, walking along the Tweed, I took many a wishful look at my scanty store of meal in the corner of my bag; and taking the twopence out of my pocket, I said to myself, "This is all the money and meal I have to support me till I get my web finished, and the price returned from Edinburgh;" but, to my utter astonishment, I pulled out a shilling along with it. The joy of seeing the shilling, and the unaccountable way of its coming there, filled me alternately with pleasure and pain, but, after recovering from my ecstasy a little, it occurred to my mind, that I must have got it from the miller, through some oversight, in returning me my last twopence in the change for the meal. I resolved, therefore, to go back and return the man his shilling, hungry and weary as I was: but a sinful thought struck me that this might be the hand of Divine Providence, in giving me that mite out of the miller's abundance, to supply my present wants; but I stood and argued with myself long before I could persuade myself to go home and make my supper, of which I stood in much need. In so doing, I acted wrong, and still more so in afterwards thinking that Providence had given a blessing with that shilling, merely because I have never wanted one since – my hardships, I may say, being henceforth at a close.

Shortly after this, the Earlston Volunteers wanted an additional fifer; and as I was still labouring to improve myself, from the time I got the old fife, formerly mentioned, my name reached the ears of the commanding officer, who sent for me, and, with permission of my master, I went every Wednesday afternoon to Earlston, which was about five miles distant, and received each time, one shilling and sixpence for my trouble. My long habit of living meanly, and this addition weekly, made me, as I thought, quite a gentleman, and I saw none that I would have changed conditions with, every thing considered.

After I left Darnick, I went to a Mr. W – , near Dalkeith, and wrought journeyman with him for one summer, during which time, I attended church at Dalkeith; and I well recollect, that on my way home, having a mile or two of a retired road to go, my mind would frequently be so full of the minister's sermon, and such like topics, that I used to take off my hat and walk bareheaded, as I thought the seriousness of the subject called for that mark of respect, especially as my meditations were mixed with ejaculatory prayer.

I left Mr. W – after the bleaching work was over for the summer, and went in search of work to Peebles, which, being the place of my nativity, I had a great desire to see. This was, I think, in the year 1802. On my arrival at Peebles I was very fortunate, or rather the Lord made my way prosperous, for I got a good master and comfortable lodgings the very first day. My master was serjeant-major of the volunteers, and being much pleased with my fife playing, he persuaded me to join that corps as a fifer. But soon after the Army of Reserve was raised, and I was obliged, either to pay money into societies, to insure me against it, or run the risk of going for nothing, neither of which I liked. The bounties given to substitutes were very good, and, my excessive regard for music still increasing, I resolved on taking the bounty; but then what excuse to give to my parents I did not well know, for I thought it would vex them much, as I had a brother already in the artillery: so I resolved to say that it was the expense necessary for insuring me, that forced me to go into the army; but in truth it was neither that, nor yet the temptation of the large bounty that made me enlist, but the prospect of being a fifer in the army, where I could get proper instructions in my favourite music. Having made up my mind to this, I offered myself as a substitute for a Mr. G. and received as bounty two and twenty pounds. The report that I had enlisted in the Army of Reserve quickly went over the town, though few believed it, as I was always so attentive to my work, and I had just finished forty-five yards of linen for shirts to myself; but although the news seemed strange to many, it was no more strange than true. So I gave all my best clothes and the web, except as much as made me three shirts, to my mother; and as I did not go to the army from necessity, but choice, I left the whole of my bounty in the hands of a respectable man in Peebles. Along with other recruits, I was marched to Edinburgh, and from thence to Linlithgow, at which place inquiry was made if there was any lad in our party who could play the fife; and the fife-major hearing of me, he asked if I was willing to play on that instrument? I said I had no objection, (for it was indeed the very thing I wanted, as you will easily believe,) provided I was exempted from that disagreeable part of their duty, viz. flogging the men; so he went to the commanding officer, and got that matter settled to my satisfaction. Shortly after this we received a route for Ireland, and marched on the 5th December. We had snow, rain, or hail every day of our march, which was a fortnight; but this did not discourage me, for such hardships I had expected, and laid my account with in my new way of life.

We arrived at Belfast, and lay there about six months, nothing extraordinary taking place; only I was truly happy and thankful in having been excused from the disagreeable duty of punishing the men. The very sight of this, for some time, made me ready to faint, until its frequency rendered it easier to my mind. From Belfast we were marched to Athlone, the centre of Ireland, by severe marches. This was in June, 1804. At this place I was appointed leading fifer to the grenadier company of the regiment. We had not been six weeks at Athlone, when an order was issued for forming an army on the plains of Kildare, and our regiment, (the 26th, or Scots Cameronians,) was among the number that assembled at the formation of this camp. When all collected, there were three regiments of horse, sixteen of foot, and a brigade of light infantry, the whole under the command of Lord Cathcart. Here, truly, I began to peel my wands , or, to speak more plainly, to know something of the inconveniences of a soldier's life.

The country being in a very troubled state, we were ordered to encamp on the Curragh, to be ready if wanted, and also to inure us to the hardships of the field. As I said before, I belonged to the grenadiers, and there were twenty of us in a small bell tent; and you may easier conceive than I can describe how such a number could take repose during the night on so small a space, with nothing but straw on the ground, and our camp blankets. We were so jammed together that it was impossible for any one to change his posture, at least without disturbing the whole tent. Our field-days also were very frequent and severe, the men being out from five or six o'clock in the morning until four or five in the afternoon, without tasting a morsel of victuals, so that many of the men fainted daily in the ranks from want and fatigue.

After remaining on the Curragh for six weeks, the country became quiet, and we were ordered back to our old stations; and heartily glad we were again to see the barracks of Athlone. After doing the duty here a few months longer, we received a route to Dublin, at which news I was very greatly delighted, for there I expected to get my musical mind much better entertained than at Athlone. On my arrival at Dublin I went to a music teacher, to whom I paid half-a-guinea a month for getting instructions on the violin and clarionet; but having already acquired considerable execution on the German flute, I was encouraged myself to give instructions on that instrument; and the money I received in this way enabled me to defray the expense of my own teacher, and of buying instruments, music, &c. Here I breathed my native air, I may say; for what with regimental practice, teaching my pupils, attending my own instructions, writing my own music, &c. I certainly had enough of it, yet hardly could I ever say I was satiated. Even in the night the music was passing before me in review; and when I did not perfectly comprehend my master's lessons during the day, they were sure to be cleared up to me when I awoke during the night. There was no time here allowed for the service of God; no – something of more importance, as I thought, engrossed my mind, but I little thought that this course was preparing me apace for falling a victim before a temptation which was not far distant. It may seem strange to my readers, that I who seemed to show so much piety, during my apprenticeship, and for some time afterwards, should now live so careless a life; but I had my lashes of conscience sometimes, I assure you, and endeavoured to hush its clamours by saying, I had no opportunity in a barrack-room for prayer, reading my Bible, or serious reflection, and I tried to believe that God would take this for an excuse, particularly as I promised to become a good Christian, when the Lord should deliver me from this confusion. Truly, the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. The truth is, my mind was constantly going after its vanities; I found pleasure in nothing but music and musicians.