Chris Beckett - Dark Eden

‘Because . . .?’

‘I don’t feel like that now.’

‘I went looking for you in Redlantern, and Gerry told me that Bella had you in her shelter and that everyone reckoned that . . .’

‘Just leave it, alright?’

For a moment she looked like she was going to get angry, but she saw something in my face that stopped her. She nodded and shrugged and gave me a little strained smile.

I felt sad sad. I felt scared. I felt sorry sorry for John. I felt sort of sorry for Bella too, sorry and angry all at once.

I liked things best when everyone was getting on with each other. I liked it when everyone thought that John was great. I liked it when I met people from other groups and they said John was brave brave or Bella was the best group leader in whole Family. And I hated it that John and Bella had upset people and made them angry. I think I hated it worse than I would have done if they were angry and upset with me. But I didn’t blame John or Bella for that. I knew that people who were stronger than me didn’t mind so much what other people thought. I knew they sometimes had other reasons for doing things that seemed important to them, even more important than being liked, even more important than being kind. In fact that was why I admired them: because they had something I didn’t have — a will of their own, I suppose. So I didn’t blame them, but I wished wished that everyone would go on liking John as much as I did, and go on saying what a great great group leader Bella was, and not whisper and hiss any more.

Secrets were another thing I hated; secrets and people not saying what they meant. Gela’s heart, it was hard enough to make sense of anything without all that!

‘Why’s no one talking?’ I whispered to Fox when John was in Bella’s shelter and everyone around had gone quiet quiet.

He winked and ruffled my hair like I was a little kid, then got up and moved away from me.

I went to my mum.

‘Is John’s slipping in there with Bella?’ I asked her. ‘Why is everyone so quiet?’

Sue squeezed my hand, but wouldn’t say anything.

Even Jeff wouldn’t talk about it.

And when at last he came out of Bella’s shelter, John didn’t want to talk to me either. He waved me away, walked off out of group, and didn’t come back until four five hours later when we were all sleeping or trying to sleep.

‘You okay, John?’ I whispered as he crawled into the shelter he shared with me and Jeff.

But he didn’t answer me, just crawled between his sleeping skins and lay still.

I didn’t sleep hardly at all before the next waking. It was always hard anyway when an Any Virsry put your sleeping and waking times back to front, but it was harder still when the world was all turned upside down. There was so much weird weird stuff going on. Everyone had thought John was great, but now whole Family was angry with him. Everyone in Family said Bella was the best group leader, but now even her own group were thinking thoughts about her so bad bad that they wouldn’t speak them aloud.

Yet both John and Bella seemed to have chosen this. They’d done things on purpose that they knew would cause upset. They were like smart smart people playing chess who suddenly throw away a queen and you can’t see the reason, but you know they must have done it on purpose, for some reason they’ve spotted three four moves away.

‘Are you going to try and speak out again, John?’ I whispered. ‘When Family comes back together in Circle Clearing, are you going to do it again?’

John didn’t answer, but Jeff whispered across to me from his side of shelter.

‘Let him sleep, Gerry. Let him sleep.’

Paaaaarp! Paaaarp! Paaaarp!

I was wide awake when they blew the horns for second waking of Any Virsry.

Paaaaarp! Paaaarp! Paaaarp!

I hated that noise all of a sudden. It was like everything that is bad about Family, like watching eyes, like tongues telling secrets and spreading stories in that way that people have, using words they don’t really mean so you have to try and guess.

Paaaaarp! Paaaarp! Paaaarp!

John sat up and rubbed his little beard with both hands, and yawned. He looked tired tired.

Paaaaarp! Paaaarp! Paaaarp!

Jeff was sitting up too now, rubbing his twisty feet and watching John with his eyes slightly narrowed. My little brother was another one like John, who played his own particular game and didn’t care what other people thought, and I guess that meant he could understand John in a way that I couldn’t. They were like chess players, and people like me were more like pieces on the board.

Paaaaarp! Paaaarp! Paaaarp!

We didn’t have to go to Circle Clearing, because Council always spent second waking of Any Virsry going through the Genda by itself, but the horns were to tell whole Family it had to get up and get on with doing stuff, and not fall back into our own group waking and sleeping times until Any Virsry was over.

We crawled outside our shelter, John first, then me, then Jeff. Old Roger and Bella and my mum Sue were toasting starflower stems and dried fish for everyone to eat.

‘Hello John,’ Bella called out, and I could see her trying to catch his eye so she could try and find out what was going on in his head.

But John took the food she gave him without looking at her face.

‘Hello, Gerry darling,’ said my mum Sue, giving me my food. ‘You look tired, my dear. All you newhairs are to go scavenging today. Don’t go more than an hour’s distance from here, okay? You’re going with John and Met again, plus Candice and Janny. Jeff will need to rest his feet this waking, so we’ll find him jobs to do back here in group.’

Paaaaarp! Paaaarp! Paaaarp!

Me, John, Met, Candice and Janny headed out Lava Blob way with spears, ropes, bags and a stone-headed club, looking for stuff to eat. All the time I was watching watching John to try and figure out what was going on inside him, but it was no good: his face was still still like a mask.

Of course, with everyone staying near Family for Any Virsry, and everyone awake at the same time, we ran into other people much more than normal: grownups and newhairs and little kids from different groups, all scavenging together and disturbing each other’s prey. That’s one reason why groups don’t usually all keep the same wakings: so as not to get under each other’s feet all the time. But they were all out there now, Blueside, Batwing, London, Starflower . . . all the groups together, even the ones whose sleeps and wakings were the other way round to ours. And, when they saw John, a lot of them had things to say.

‘Rude little slinker,’ said a man about forty fifty wombs called Tom Fishcreek (poor bloke had clawfeet and a batface). ‘What you think you’re doing spoiling Any Virsry for everyone?’

Him and a couple of other Fishcreek men had hung up an old torn fishing net made of wavyweed string. The other two were up in a whitelantern tree and they’d tied threads to the legs of flutterbyes and were jerking them up and down to try and lure bats into the net.

‘Yeah,’ called down one of the others in the tree. ‘If you want to be rude to grownups, John Redlantern, stick to the ones in your own bloody group next time, alright? Leave the rest of us out of it.’

And he leaned out right over a whitelantern flower, so that its light shone up into his face, and then he spat down from the tree. John had to step out of the way to stop it from landing on his head.

I was angry angry.

‘Tom’s dick! You’d better . . .’

But John put his hand on my arm at once and shook his head to tell me to leave it, he didn’t want any fuss.